What I Spent This Week (2018.09.28)

I went way over budget ($61.02) the second week of September and have been working to get myself out of that hole. I had to keep my groceries to just $77.71 for this week to come out of September on top.


Monday, September 24

I had an eye appointment right across the street from an ALDI and we needed butter desperately (I made tomato soup using oil and mac and cheese using schmaltz – that’s how desperately!), so I did my ALDI shopping for the week early.

ALDI purchases 9/24/2018

$28.71 leaves me and even $49 for the rest of the week.


Tuesday, September 25

Walmart Grocery pickup was $56.36 – but $4.17 of that was laundry soap and $9.33 was Vitamin D for the little ones, which means $42.86 for groceries.

Walmart Grocery pickup 9/25/2018

I DID IT!

I stayed under budget, even with buying formula!


Thursday, September 27

And then we had a doctor’s appointment and all of us got our flu shots – and the little ones were screaming and I had left bottle nipples at home so I couldn’t feed the littlest one her formula except by cup (which she was NOT happy about). So I promised the kids donuts when we went to Walmart to get some bottle nipples.

They desperately wanted to break the budget, suggesting that I purchase all sorts of expensive treats. (I’m not going to lie, I saw a rotisserie chicken that sounded SO much better than the cold beef salad sandwiches I’d packed for lunch). But I stuck to my guns, bought a $2 box of donut holes ($2.15 once taxes were done), and we’re ending September in the black.


Living by the list

We were already running late and several of the kids were resisting hurrying, so I picked them up and carted them off to their car seats. One young person was missing shoes, but I knew the shoes would probably come off in the car anyway and I didn’t have time to put them on twice. I’d grab them and put them on when we reached our destination.

But when we arrived and I unbuckled the shoeless child, I realized I’d left the shoes at home.

There was nothing to do but to soldier on, carrying the shoeless child when necessary, apologizing profusely to all those whose rules we were breaking by being shoeless.

I swore it wouldn’t happen again – and when I got home, I made a checklist.

The checklist

Every time we leave the house, I check the laminated list that lives on the console of my car.

Almost every week, we stop in the driveway to get that one last item, to complete that one last task.

We didn’t get medicine this morning before we left the house. I forgot the TULA at home. Our packed lunch is still in the fridge.

The list doesn’t keep me from forgetting things – but it helps me catch them before it’s too late.

And so far, we’ve not had any repeats of our shoeless errand day.


Recap (2018.09.22)

In my spirit

  • I’m convicted of how often I despise the good gifts God has given me – particularly our children. Instead of thanking God for them and joyfully carrying out the tasks of mothering, I grumble and complain about how they add so much work! noise! clutter! Lord, forgive me!

In our family

  • Beth-Ellen is officially standing – Daniel set her down on her feet (Monday maybe?) and she stayed standing there. Then, the next day, I was folding laundry on the floor and looked over to see her casually standing there next to me!
  • Sleep training has commenced (and seems to be going well.) I held off for longer than usual since Beth-Ellen shares a room with the older two – but I was getting to the place where I was frustrated enough with the little girls’ daily demands that I didn’t have much compassion left for them – I knew I needed to do something to be sane enough to respond lovingly. Sleep training it is – and I’m already able to deal with them much more tenderly and compassionately.
  • Daniel and I had a date! A mother and daughter from our church answered our SOS for babysitters and got background checked and all that so they could watch all our kids (including our foster daughter). Daniel and I enjoyed breakfast and then a lovely walk around a local nature preserve. It’s been far too long (at least a year, maybe longer) since we’ve spent time together completely sans kids.
  • Tirzah Mae has pronounced her “L” as “W” since she started talking – and we’ve mentioned it to her a few times, coaching her on proper tongue positioning to get the “L” sound out. But she hasn’t really seemed terribly interested, and we haven’t pushed the issue. This last week, though, she decided that enough was enough and has been working hard to get that “L” sound out, stopping and sticking her tongue between her teeth before telling me a story about her “light-saver” (Nope, not going to correct her mishearing of light-saber – it’s tons cuter that she’s saving me light for winter with her golf-club turned light-saver/saber :-) )

Louis makes us a feast

In our home

  • The kids and I eat Raisin Bran about once a week – and this week I decided I was over all the added sugar. I bought bran flakes, we poured them into a cereal keeper and added (unsugared) raisins and shook it up. Still tastes delicious, and plenty sweet from the raisins.

On the homestead

  • Our neighbor gave me some daylily divisions when we first moved in – and, since I didn’t know where I wanted to put them, I put them in the holes of my concrete block raised beds. Then, since they multiply so rapidly and since the holes aren’t very big, I’ve had to divide them and replant them each year. This year, I finally figured out where I want them to be long-term, so I divided them and planted them this weekend! Now I can wait another 3-4 years before I should have to divide again. Hooray!
  • We had a big decorative-looking grass growing by the garage door and I was thinking maybe we’d keep it – until I looked it up and found out that it is Johnson grass, which is considered a noxious weed and illegal in the state of Kansas! So Daniel pulled that and got it all bagged to send to the landfill.

My newly transplanted daylilies

In the library (currently reading)

  • For Loving: Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home by Gloria Furman
  • For Growing: Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
    I’m appreciating these short reflections on womanhood.
  • For Knowing: The Importance of Being Little: What Young Children Really Need from Grown-ups by Erika Christakis
    Unfortunately, my checkout period was over on Thursday and someone else had requested this book so I couldn’t renew it – so now I’m waiting for my own request to be filled.
  • For Seeing: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
    Because sometimes it’s good to spend a time with an old friend – and somehow Austen’s reflections are always insightful however often I re-read them.
  • Princess Picture Books
    Tirzah Mae is on a princess kick, so we’re reading lots of renditions of Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Rapunzel. (I took the Disney book back to the library as quickly as possible and checked out a whole spate of beautifully illustrated renditions instead.)


What I Spent This Week (2018.09.21)

Results are in, and…

I am officially great at predicting when I’m going to majorly blow my budget.

Also, I am officially terrible at giving weekly updates.

:-(


Tuesday, September 11

I spent $96.09 on my Walmart grocery pickup!

Walmart pickup 9/11/2018

Thankfully, $25.07 of it was on diapers. Which means I only have to claim $71.02 for grocery. Still.


I needed more pinto beans, and Sam’s Club has the cheapest around – assuming you’re buying 50 lbs. Which, of course I am! I also got individually packed Ruffles (because it’s ultimately better for me to know that there are potato chips at home that I can indulge in occasionally and in moderation when needed than for me to be picking up entire family-size bags every other week at the grocery store and inhaling them on the drive home. Just sayin’)

Sam's Club Pickup 9/11/2018

After I subtracted my oxygen bleach, it was $62.27

So… with a budget of $115 per week – I spent $133.29 on Tuesday alone. But I didn’t buy any fresh produce, so I still needed to do my ALDI shopping on Thursday.


Thursday, September 13

I spent $42.73 at ALDI – all of it on groceries.

ALDI 9/13 - Sometimes you just don't have time to arrange things

And sometimes I just don’t have time to arrange the groceries to look pretty once I get home :-)

So I ended the week $61.02 in the hole.


Monday, September 17

I sent Daniel to Walmart to pick up prescriptions for the kids and I – and to get us some ice cream. Sometimes I just feel the need. $4.30 for two containers.


Tuesday, September 18

Another ginormous Walmart order – $75.24

Walmart grocery pickup 9/18

But, just like last week, I get to subtract diapers (as well as some storage bags and plastic wrap.) After I take out those, I’m at a more respectable $41.68 for groceries. – and that 25 lb bag of all-purpose flour should last me at least a month :-)

I didn’t do Sam’s Club this week – the block of cheese from last week is still unopened in the fridge and Daniel’s Sun Chips to keep at work will wait until we’ve got more to order from Sam’s.


Thursday, September 20

Knowing that my budget was in the red, I intended to shop strictly by my list at ALDI this week.

And I almost did.

ALDI haul 9/20

But there were hams for $1.19 per pound and I don’t have any ham in my freezer right now (a rare event, let me tell you!)

And I had some extras I needed for lunch (I’d packed lunchmeat and mustard since we didn’t have any bread or easy-to-eat-while-out fruit or veggies in the house.)

Purchased to be eaten quickly... ALDI 9/20

So I also bought some bread and sliced cheese for our sandwiches, some mandarin oranges to go along with them, and some trail mix for a pre-storytime snack. (Also pictured? The bread for pizza bread Thursday evening – I’d forgotten to include it in the previous picture!)

That was $68.06 minus $4.29 for the scrub brushes I’d bought for kids’ activities. So $63.77

Okay, time for some quick math (see kids, math does come in handy in your future life!)

*Under breath* 63.77 plus 41.68 plus 4.30 Wait – am I actually going to do this in my head? I suppose, now that I’ve got the numbers down on screen it’s easy enough. Five, carry one. Seven, carry one. Nine. Ten.

$109.75

Folks, this would be lovely if I weren’t in the hole already.


To review…
Week 1: $18.48 below budget
Week 2: $61.02 above budget
Week 3: $5.25 below budget

I’m still $37.29 in the hole for the month.

I’ve got one more full week in the month and I need to keep my purchases down to $77.71

Can I do it?

The good news is that I’m working my way through the first cycle of my new fall menu and putting a half dozen or so entrees in the freezer each week – which means the second time through the cycle should be a) less work and b) less expensive. Also, now that I’ve bought beans and flour and chips and ramen (another “because mama needs something on hand just in case she wants to sulk in a corner with hot food”), I’m not going to need those again for quite a while.

The bad news is that we’ve still got one more week in that first four-week cycle – which means I’m still trying to double up (and don’t really want to make too many substitutions).

Even so, I think I’m up for this challenge. Bring it on!


First Day of Prairie Elms Preschool 2018-2019

Since there’s no time like the present, Prairie Elms preschool reconvened for the 2018-2019 school year on Monday.

Our preschool class 2018-2019

I planned for two students, expecting that we’d do preschool while the little girls were napping –

The rest of our preschool class 2018-2019

but, so far, neither girl has cooperated with anything more than cursory morning naps – so four students it is!

Tirzah Mae first day of school 2018-2019

We do action songs and fingerplays and rhythm sticks and singing lessons. We check the weather and sing the days of the week. We sing the alphabet song and count a little. We read and read and read some more. We do ice cream cone math. And when we’re all done with “school”, we scrub potatoes (sensory win!) and fold laundry (life skills and fine motor). We decorate papa’s birthday cake (Happy birthday, Beloved!) We watch the garden spider on our door. We explore the leaf mould in the herb garden. We harvest basil and dry it. We watch caterpillars and birds and rolly pollies and all sorts of things mama later discovers are pests that she should have killed :-P

Louis first day of school 2018-2019

And when the day is done, we snuggle on the couch with papa and do our family worship.

It’s not much different than regular life, really.

But whatever it is, we’ve declared the preschool year to have commenced!


What I Spent This Week (2018.09.07)

Online budget accountability is great… until you meet a stressor that is likely to be both hard on the budget and hard on blogging.

Like, for instance, getting a new foster child and then immediately getting a stomach bug. And then traveling to pick up a newly butchered beef.

I’m speaking purely in hypotheticals, of course. :-)

So the rest of August was…

August 11 – Gas Station (snacks while traveling) $6.79
August 14 – Walmart Grocery Pickup $35.49
August 14 – Sam’s Club Pickup $21.50
August 15 – Walmart for Formula $27.89
August 16 – ALDI $59.94
August 21 – Walmart Grocery Pickup $21.79
August 23 – ALDI $39.01
August 26 – Sam’s Club Pickup $21.78
August 28 – Walmart $28.48
August 31 – Walmart $37.14
Total $299.81

My budget of $123 per week times 3 weeks means I had $369 to spend – so I came out ahead by $69.19 for those three weeks and $186.36 for the month.

BUT…

Lest I get too confident…

I started off September by spending $500 to buy a quarter of beef (197 lbs) from my uncle.

Since I’ll be eating that all year long, I’m going to do a bit of alchemy to spread the load and reset my weekly budget a little lower at $115/week.

Wanna see my work?
$500 minus $186.36 for August = $313.64
$313.64 divided by 43 weeks from September 2018 to June 2019 = $7.29/week
$123 minus $7.29 = $115 (always round to allow yourself the most wiggle room – in this case, down)


And now onto this week…

Wednesday September 6
Shopping was weird this week because we traveled up to Lincoln on Sunday to get our beef and came back down to Wichita on Labor Day – which meant I was in no state to do a grocery pickup order for Tuesday morning. So Wednesday it was.

I spend $34.13 for grocery pickup at Walmart on Wednesday afternoon. All of it was groceries.

Walmart pickup 9/5/2018

Thursday September 7

Then it was right out to ALDI the next morning for more groceries – $62.39 worth.

ALDI 9/6/2018

I didn’t add things up and just happened to end up $18.48 below my budget – but it’s not going to last because I have a GINORMOUS Sam’s Club order coming up next week.


Complicating matters, we do receive a stipend to reimburse expenses for fostering – and some portion of that will be added to my grocery budget to cover the expense of formula. I expect to look over our foster care related expenses and determine how we allocate that stipend at the end of each month – and I won’t necessarily include that in my expense reports. So things might look wonky here and there :-)


12 years: a reading progress report

It’s been 12 years now since I began my epic project to read every book in my local branch library. 12 years, three cities, six homes, one husband, three biological children, and two foster children later… I’m still reading.

TOTALS as of Sept 5, 2018 (12 years or 4383 days)

Category Items this year Total Items Total Categories Closed
Juvenile Picture 165 1657 472
Juvenile, Board Books 365 512 268
Juvenile, First Readers 9 75 3
Juvenile, Chapter 0 92 7
Juvenile Fiction 6 320 25
Juvenile Nonfiction 19 280 1
Teen Fiction 1 49 4
Teen Nonfiction 0 5 0
Adult Fiction 3 468 71
Adult Nonfiction 34 953 44
Audio CD 238 933 14
Juvenile DVD 4 53 0
Adult Fiction DVD 8 107 7
Adult Nonfiction DVD 3 45 1
Periodicals 5 94 0
Total 860 items 5643 items
2.36 items/day 1.21 items/day

This year’s biggest reading accomplishment was getting serious about closing categories. The children and I read everything our library owns by 222 different board book authors. We have 8 more board books to read before we can say that we’ve read every board book in Wichita’s Advanced Learning Library!

Next up? We’re going to be hitting the picture books hard.


Sick days pre- and post- kids

Pre-kid sick day

Snuggle up in bed with a book. Sip and nibble whatever you can keep down. Sleep whenever you feel tired. Take the occasional trip to the bathroom to vomit.

Post-kid sick day

Vomit into toilet. Wash hands thoroughly. Pick up baby who wants to breastfeed.

Baby vomits all over your front.

Hold baby at arms length so she’s not steeping in her own vomit while trying to remove her clothes and yours so you can shower.

Shower baby and hand her off to husband. Rinse yourself the rest of the way off and dress.

Grab baby back because, of course, she still wants to breastfeed.

Baby vomits on you again.

When it’s clear that the entire family is down for the count and you’ve already cleaned vomit off the floor in three rooms of the house, sweep everything out of the living room and roll up the rug.

Lay down vinyl covered toddler matresses and settle in to sleep between two preschoolers.

Wake up to one or the other child whimpering. Hold them in your lap while holding a bucket under their mouth to catch vomit.

Clean it all up, rearrange the children in the bed so you can attempt to lie between them, drop off to sleep.

Half an hour later, awaken to … a child whimpering for mama, a baby crying to breastfeed, or a baby crying for a bottle.

Once the family has been vomit-free for 12 hours, get out the bleach and bleach every surface in the house, including the twenty dozen toys that were on the floor when the vomit started to fly.

Spend next several days changing children’s clothes when their diarrhea diapers blow out, worrying that you should be bleaching everything again, and thanking God that your diarrhea phase is miraculously not urgent.

Get sleep in half-hour segments for next several nights, as the seven-month-olds are switching off waking you up and the foster baby is NOT happy with Daniel giving her a bottle.

Your husband goes back to work Monday morning.

You turn on worship music , decide that laughing is better than crying, and write a blog post.


What I Spent This Week (2018.08.10)

Tuesday August 7

Tuesday is grocery pickup day and I got pickup from both Sam’s Club and Walmart.

Notice, no cheese

I ordered a 2 lb block of sharp cheddar cheese from Sam’s Club for $6.30 – but I only ended up with razor blades. I need to start actually reading the confirmation emails – sometimes they also let you know that something’s out of stock! So no grocery from Sam’s Club this week.

Walmart purchases

Then there’s $66.39 from Walmart – but the diapers ($47.77) make up the bulk of it. Once I subtract the diapers and my multivitamin ($4.26), which belong in “Household – Consumables” and “Pharmacy” respectively, I’m down to $14.36 for groceries.

But don’t be thinking I’m coming out ahead this week – a beef went to the butcher this week and a quarter of it is mine. I don’t know the bill yet, but I can guarantee you it’ll be more than the $108.64 I have left for the week.

We’ve also been out of town part of this week, so I mostly cooked to clear the fridge. Next week, we’ll be at home and will be filling the fridge back up.


Will it mess up my kids?

As we’ve added to our family and as our family has grown older, I’ve discovered that my parenting toolbox is pretty limited. I’ve tried to add to that toolbox by doing some reading on parenting.

Many of the resources I’ve read have offered helpful tools to add to my toolbox. For that, I am grateful. But almost all have come with a healthy unhealthy helping of guilt.

Do it our way, they say, or you’ll mess up your kids.

You’ll mess up your kids if you spank. You’ll mess up your kids if you spare the rod. You’ll mess up your kids if you do time-outs. You’ll mess up your kids if you do star charts. You’ll mess up your kids if you don’t teach them to sleep on their own. You’ll mess up your kids if you let them cry it out.

And every time I read these books, I wonder if I’ve been doing it all wrong. In particular, they make me wonder if the specific parenting choices I’ve made at one time or another are wrong.

Are my children going to struggle for the rest of their lives because I sleep-trained them?

Are they going to struggle to connect with others because I sent them to their room to be punished instead of bringing them close for a cuddle instead?

Are they going to internalize the idea that they’re bad people because I’ve spanked them?

The doubts rise and then I push back. Yes, there is a such thing as abusive parenting. There are better parenting techniques and worse ones. But I reject the premise that every problem in our adult lives is a result of our parents’ doing (or not doing) x.

And then I realize that the real problem with the guilt the books are giving rise to, the real problem with feeling guilty over sleep training or time-outs or spanking – the real problem is that I’m letting the debate over technique distract me from the real issue in parenting.

The real issue, nine times out of ten, is my own heart.

The issue is that I am unloving, impatient, lacking in self-control. It is that I am vengeful, irritable, and selfish. It is that I am ungrateful and unforgiving.

And this issue cannot be solved by just snuggling my kids more or by resolving to not put my kids in time-out. This problem cannot be solved by healing the hurts of my past or by psychoanalyzing my parents.

This issue can only be resolved through repentance and reliance upon God to change my heart.

Rachel Jancovich’s Loving the Little Years is serving as a helpful tool to pull me away from these side issues and to bring me back to my own heart.

“As you deal with your children,” she writes, “deal with yourself always and first.”

I’ve summarized her thought in a single word that I’m reminding myself of frequently (and attempting to put into practice):

Repent.

Because the issue isn’t whether I’m going to mess my children up. The issue is my heart.