Simple Sunday: Stan and Carolyn

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~Thankful for the couple who has remained faithful in our congregation. Stan and Carolyn were invited to our church many (15-20) years ago because the church leadership felt a need for older couples in our church. They felt that we had a dearth of wisdom and experience–so they approached Stan and Carolyn to provide that wisdom and experience. Now, even when many of those leaders have left our church body, Stan and Carolyn are still here–years wiser and still eager to serve. What a blessing to the body!

Visit Davene at Life on Sylvan Drive for more Simple Sunday posts.


Reviving Thankful Thursday

As I have found myself slipping again into a pit of discontent, I feel it might be worthwhile to revive last year’s “Thankful Thursday” (which I wrote exactly one day less than one year ago, coincidentally.) It does me well to reflect on the goodness of God.

Today I’m thankful…

  • That I knew at least SOME of the questions on my biochemistry test. Depending on how he grades, I might do decently.
  • That I was able to get an interview with the dietitian at Matt Talbot Kitchen & Outreach. We did double duty as she manned a stand at one of the Community Crops Farmer’s Markets.
  • That I ran into Karen from NEP (Nutrition Education Program) at the market today. It was so nice to catch up with her.
  • That Anna decided to leave us some cups. Looking at my possessions sans what Anna’s taking to her new place, it seems we won’t have to buy near as much as we expected. (As of right now, it looks like our main “wish list” is silverware, plates, knives, handheld mixer, iron, and ironing board–If you have any that you’re longing to get rid of, keep Casandra and I in mind!)
  • That Dad offered to let me practice on “William” whenever I’d like. Anna’s taking her piano with her–and when Dad saw me today, he came over to give me a hug and “console me over the loss of a piano.” He then assured me that I could play William (my parents’ upright grand) whenever I’d like. What’s more, since I live in the same neighborhood as they do, I actually might be able to take them up on the offer.
  • That I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. I feel the need for a veg–and it just so happens that the other TA is teaching the lecture tomorrow and told me she doesn’t care if I come. I won’t be going.

Works for Me Wednesday: Home Habits

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I started “fluttering” with Flylady over a year ago. I’m still barely fluttering–certainly not flying–and I’ve taken plenty of nose-dives along the way.

But one thing has stayed with me. I’ve started developing little habits–some official “FlyLady” habits, others my own–that go a LONG way toward maintaining personal order.

First, I ALWAYS lay out my clothes every evening and I ALWAYS get fully dressed (all the way to shoes) when I first get up in the morning. With my clothes all on, I feel ready to get started on my day–and am less tempted to do something like, well, crawl back in bed to read a book! Also, setting out my clothes the night before leaves me with that much less early-morning stress–especially on those days I sleep longer than I intended and find myself in a time crunch to get to work or classes.

Second, I always make my bed the moment I get out of it. Actually, I tend to make my bed before I even get out. I pull up the covers, make sure they’re relatively straight, and then slide right out. All I have to do is straighten a bit and tuck in any loose corners and I’m ready to go. Keeping my bed made means I feel like I have some order in my life–even when everything else is chaos! Instant sanity saver.

Third, I always close my closet door as soon as I’m done in the closet. It sounds like a simple thing because it is a simple thing. But it has enormous effects. With that simple act of closing the closet door, I have established another oasis of order (or at least seeming order) within my room. It enables me to rest in peace!

Maybe these particular habits aren’t for you (although once you give them a try, you might find yourself hooked!) Maybe your habits should be preparing lunches the night before or wiping out the sink after you brush your teeth or keeping mail off the kitchen table. But, regardless of what YOUR specific habits end up being, I can almost guarantee that developing simple daily home habits can help you along the way to peaceful, productive living. They certainly work for me.

Check out more “Works for Me Wednesday” posts at We are THAT Family.


As a driver, I’m far from perfect.

Everybody makes mistakes while driving. Everybody does dumb things– sometimes by accident, sometimes by design.

But when you decide to run a red light and almost hit the person across from you who’s clearing the lane? Don’t you dare honk at them.

You’ve just officially gone from dumb to idiot.

I often choose to not get riled over traffic issues–getting cut off, having someone in front of me who’s not paying attention to the road, whatever–by reminding myself that I’ve unintentionally done the same thing. And by reminding myself of how embarrassed and remorseful I am when I’ve done such a thing–I just wish I could tell the driver I cut off how sorry I am. It serves me well to assume the best of the drivers around me. I stay calm, my blood pressure stays low. All is well.

But when someone disobeys the law and then has the audacity to get upset at the ones they could have killed in their recklessness? There’s no excuse for that kind of behavior.


The day I left my brain…

Yesterday, I left my brain at church.

Yes, you heard me right. I left my brain at church.

I’d been grading papers in the sanctuary while the Rock Solid kids had their classes in the classrooms. My bag was on the floor, my brain–I mean, my book–was under the chair, and my grading portfolio open on my lap. When I got up to leave, I grabbed my bag off the floor and stuffed my grading portfolio inside. I puzzled a bit as I realized that my pen didn’t belong in my bag. But I couldn’t remember where it did belong.

So I packed my bag away and took off for home.

It wasn’t until almost midnight that I realized what I was missing–my brain. I frantically searched around the room before it became obvious that I’d left my book at the church.

Every impulse within me urged me to race back to the church, to retrieve my book immediately. But I resisted the impulse, figuring that I could live without it for twelve hours.

And I was able to survive–but just barely–until noon today when I was finally free to drive all the way out to church.

Lest you think that I exaggerate my dependence on my book, allow me to share how my book serves as my brain.

  • When I wake up, my book contains my morning routines which tell me what to do
  • When I’m considering purchasing anything, my book tells me whether I have any money for it in my budget
  • When I’m at the grocery store, my book contains coupons and usually my shopping list, helping me shop efficiently within my budget
  • When I’m heading somewhere unfamiliar, my book contains a map of Lincoln’s bike trails to direct me to the nearest route
  • When I need to sign something, my book contains pens (and pencils)
  • When I’m losing sight of what’s important, my book contains my vision statement and goals to keep me on track
  • Whether I’m scheduling an appointment or planning my day, my book contains my calendar to make sure I don’t double book and that I’ll make it to everything on time
  • When I’m juggling multiple tasks and trying to prioritize, my book contains daily and weekly to do lists that give me the essentials
  • When it’s time to get ready for bed, my book contains my evening routines to make sure I’m ready for whatever tomorrow brings
  • When I’ve got some extra time, my book reminds me of topics I want to write about or read about–or what websites I want to check out
  • When I’m at the library, my book has a list of all the Dewey Decimal classifications, of the sections or authors I’ve already read, of the sections or authors I’m currently working on, and of books that I want to read (generally from recommendations)
  • When I’m getting something for my car, my book gives me all my car related specs
  • When I’m at the doctor’s office, my book keeps my medical history straight
  • When I need to make a phone call, send an e-mail, or drop someone a note, my book contains contact information on all my personal and business contacts.

People have been wont to ask me how I do what I do–as busy as I am. My answer? I keep my brains in my book. I don’t have to remember all those things. I don’t have to juggle it. My book does the juggling for me.

There are just two simple things that allow me to keep my brains in my book.

  1. I tell my brain everything I need to know. I write down everything in its appropriate place within my book.
  2. My brain tells me everything I need to know. I refer to my book constantly throughout the day.

This is a system that simply works for me–as long as I don’t leave my brain behind anywhere!


Writing histories

Whenever I go to visit my grandparents, I make sure to have a notebook and pen handy. I never know when one or both of them will segue into a story–but I definitely know that my memory is too poor to retain all the details. So I jot myself notes as they talk–or as soon as possible afterwards.

I was not-so-surreptitiously taking notes on Monday when I realized that Grandma and Grandpa might like to know what the intended “final product” of all these notes is. So I opened the internet and dug out this narrative about Rosa May (Butterfield) Cook.

Rosa May was my Grandpa Cook’s Grandma, making her my great-great-grandma. I remember the vivid stories my mom used to tell me about great-grandma–the stories of the opossums, and the skunk, and the telephone. Rosa May is a member of the oldest generation that my mom and her siblings still remember–which made her an ideal target for my probing. A couple of years ago, I started pestering my family for stories about Rosa May–and I looked up as much as I could to corroborate anything they told me. The final result (which is nonetheless a work in progress) was my narrative.

The narrative was from an old version of my website. I had to save the page to my sister’s laptop and tweak the html in order to make it display properly. But I was finally able to open the web page and show Grandma. Grandma was impressed with the results and encouraged me to read it to Grandpa.

And so I did. I read the narrative to Grandpa, half afraid that I’d have gotten it all wrong. After all, Grandpa is the unchallenged family historian of the Cook Clan. Even with Parkinson’s and some dementia, his memory of family history is unparalleled. And he has a great deal of respect for our ancestors, too–a respect that insists that the truth be told down to the last detail.

But when I finished reading my narrative, Grandpa just looked at me and said, “Some others might question some parts, but that’s pretty much the story.” High praise from my Grandpa.

I don’t have the memories Grandpa has–he knew the generations that exist at most as stories for me. And I certainly don’t have his memory for the details of their lives. But my hope is that in my limited capacity, I can preserve some of our heritage–that might otherwise be lost–for the next generation.

I’m interested in the facts–the birth dates and wedding dates and times people moved–but I’m even more interested in the details of my ancestors lives. I want to know how they lived, what they cared about, what their houses looked like, what their favorite foods are, how they impacted others’ lives. I want to know the stories–the good, the bad, the nostalgic and the uncomfortable.

Which is why I want to preserve as much as I can in narrative format. I want to create a family history that is correct–but that is also entertaining. I may be interested in my family history–but I’m not content that I be the only one interested. I want to bring the family to life so that my generation and the generations after me will get interested too.

It’s a slow process–and most of my work is in the form of jotted notes in the dozens of journals kept in my closet. But someday, maybe, my part in the history will be complete–and I’ll pass the history on to the next generation to write. And maybe, if I’m lucky, they’ll write my story too.


A Little Country Church

Yesterday, I attended the morning worship service at the little country church my mother grew up in.

A cousin hands us the program before we file in to the back row, where a shortened pew leaves room for Grandpa’s wheelchair. We open our programs and find the hymns in the hymnal. An older parishioner realizes that the hymn board still lists last week’s hymns. He corrects the board as I idly wonder why Virginia has not yet taken her place at the organ.

My cousin and another man act as the accolytes, and we wait for the pastor to appear. When the vacancy pastor emerges from the back room, my unasked question receives an answer. Virginia is gone, so we’ll be singing with a CD recording.

We sit for the opening hymn and the pastor cues up the CD player with a little remote. As strains of an organ diffuse through the building, I sing unfamiliar words to a familiar tune, played with unfamiliarly correct timing. The timing throws off more than just I and we lose ourselves a couple of times.

Nonetheless, the service flows smoothly enough. The new hymnal throws me off a few times. You’d think that I’d be more flexible than I am. After all, I only worship with a liturgy when I’m here at St. Paul Venus. I am only familiar enough with the liturgy to be distressed when something changes–it throws me off when the words I’m reading don’t jibe with the words my head thinks they should be speaking. It’s the little things that throw me off–a “You” where I remember a “Thee”.

When the service ends, we make our way to the narthex. The men open both doors to get Grandpa’s wheelchair through, then circle at the bottom of the steps to discuss whatever they do. We women bunch up in the narthex, exchanging greetings. One woman says she remembers my older sister from Bible study, but Grandma’s pretty sure she’s actually remembering me. I vaguely remember being rather talkative at an after-church Bible study during one visit.

I remember us kids swinging on the rail along the front steps. We’d play on the green indoor-outdoor carpeting until one of the ladies told us they had Sunday school ready for us. So we trooped down to the basement for Sunday school. At first, there were other kids; but by my later elementary years, we were the only kids in Sunday school. Whoever was in charge of Sunday school had something ready in case some kids showed up, but children were few and far between. I no longer fill the “kid” category–and Marlene and Richard were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary with donuts in the basement–so there wasn’t any Sunday school following our service.

St. Paul Venus celebrated 95 years this spring. 95 years of baptizing babies, confirming young eighth graders, sending graduates off to school. 95 years of returning children, new grandchildren, great-grandchildren home on holidays. St. Paul reflects the neighborhood–aging, dwindling, reluctantly changing as necessity demands.

It’s a wonder the St. Paul Venus congregation still exists. In a rural community where most of the parishioners are retirees–or would be if they could afford to retire–there’s hardly the money to support a pastor. In fact, it’s been years since St. Paul has been able to pay a pastor’s salary. A nearby parish shares its pastor for an hour and a half every Sunday morning. Tithes pay for heating and electricity.

I don’t know how much longer this little country church will stand. Venus, Nebraska is little more than a historical postscript. Who knows how much longer before St. Paul follows the town.

I can’t help but feel melancholy as I think of this little church someday being forgotten. For when it is forgotten, so will a great deal of my history and my family’s history. St. Paul Venus features prominently in the stories of my past.

Grandpa’s favorite story is of looking at a cute young Carol Pierce on the Sunday school bench. They were both preschoolers, but Grandpa says he looked over at her one week and thought “My, that Carol Pierce is awful pretty. When I grow up, she’s gonna be my girlfriend.” The next week, he looked over and thought a variation on his first thought: “My, that Carol Pierce is awful pretty. When I grow up, she’s gonna be my wife!” And sure enough, when they were grown, Carol Pierce became his wife.

They were married in the very church where at least fifteen years prior Ronald Cook had decided he would like to marry Carol Pierce. They baptized each of their twelve children in this same church–and saw them confirmed there. At least two of their daughters were married at St. Paul, and a few grandchildren were baptized there as well. When Grandma and Grandpa’s progeny expanded to no longer fit within their home, they moved family gatherings to the church.

I remember playing games in the church basement before moving upstairs to sing hymns around the organ or Aunt Nellie’s electric piano. We all rifled through the hymnals, searching for our favorites, while the kids threw out suggestion after suggestion. There wasn’t a dry eye in our familial congregation when Grandpa asked for his favorites: “In the Garden” or “On Christ the Solid Rock I stand”.

I remember Grandpa standing up to tell his stories after dinner. He’d tell us the story of Grandma and him on the Sunday school bench, and the story of the man who encouraged him and Grandma to “Be fruitful and increase”. He’d tell of how proud he is of his sons-in-law–he feels that they take more after his father-in-law than him.

And I remember the slide show Aunt Martha put together for their wedding anniversary celebration one year. We were watching it in the church basement when a reproduction of a the postcard he sent Grandma from Korea came onto the screen. “Turn it over,” Grandpa yelled. Sure enough, the next slide showed the back of the card–Grandpa was coming home. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one crying. He made it back safely after his time on the front lines in Korea–back to his bride.

My memories of the little country church are only the beginning of the histories that building could tell. The photo albums I perused yesterday held few familiar faces–but I could recognize St. Paul Venus in the background, telling the stories of the generations before.

St. Paul Venus


Wamma-Wampa’s

I can’t say when we started calling Grandma and Grandpa’s house “Wamma-Wampa’s”. I imagine it was someone’s early lisping first phrase–a corruption of “Gramma and Grampa’s”. But it caught on and now we rarely call it anything else.

In the past when we’ve visited Wamma-Wampa’s, it’s been at least a half dozen of us–if not throwing in several families together to make a couple dozen. Dozens is the way they come at Grandpa and Grandma’s house. They had a dozen children, and their dozen have been faithful to multiply.

Which is why today’s visit is so unusual. Me and Mom and Dad join Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Ruth to make only a half dozen even. The three of us arrived less than half an hour ago, after the others were already in bed. Mom and Dad found the bedroom in the basement–and I was left to pick my room upstairs.

To pick. Imagine it. To have my choice of the three upstairs rooms (not including the landing). I didn’t have to determine whether it would be best if girls or boys stayed on the landing, who needed to be in the three-person room or the two-person room or the one-or-maybe-two-if-necessary room. I could just pick. I chose the three person room–the room I’m most familiar with.

At many a previous visit, I slept on the short twin bed by the door while Anna and Grace shared the full by the window. Now, I have set myself up on the full bed, just me. The window is open and I know my head will be congested by morning, but for now I don’t care. For now, I’m just enjoying the quiet that isn’t really quiet of the country.

No train whistles, no traffic, no car alarms, no domestic disputes. I can’t make out a single cricket, but the combined music of hundreds forms a pleasing lullaby, begging me to leave behind my city-folk worries and just be a child at Wamma-Wampa’s again.

Alas, in this too, this trip is different. I’m here on break, but not really. I have fifty papers with me to grade, four texts to peruse, and a sheaf of journal articles to review for my thesis proposal. This is a working holiday, and I’ve borrowed my sister’s laptop for the journey.

Which is yet another way that this trip is different. Instead of being unplugged, I’m more “wired” than I ever have been before. With wireless internet throughout the house–I can now blog whenever I please. But I also have to respond to students’ e-mails, input grades on blackboard, and maybe get some research in.

I’m already weighed down with the tasks I have for this weekeng; but I’m wishing, longing, hoping for something beside. I’m hoping that I can take a moment, just a brief breather, to enjoy some sort of holiday. I’m hoping to just once lose sight of all that must be done and spend some time just being.

As life grows busier, it becomes harder and harder to find that place. But if that place can be found, I’m pretty sure, I’ll find it at Wamma-Wampa’s.


A Truly Empowered Female

As my siblings want to take my car out of town tomorrow, I was forced to FINALLY change my oil. It’s been on my to-do list for an eon, but has not been accomplished, because, well…I’ve never changed my oil before.

Of course, I could take it to Wal-mart to have it done, as I always have in the past. But Wal-mart’s oil changes have become remarkably expensive; and it seems to me that every woman should know how to change her own oil.

So, sometime near the beginning of the summer, I bought myself five quarts of oil and a new oil filter–and I’ve been faithfully writing “change oil” on my weekly to-do list every week since. But I haven’t gotten it done.

After all, if you’ve never changed your own oil before, it’s a daunting process. You have to have someone else to help you (or else remember enough to have a decent grasp on what you’re doing it advance.) Then, if you’re like me, you have to find a way to get all the appropriate tools (my answer? go to my parents’ house.) And there’s the “changing into grubbies” (which I find particularly difficult because I really don’t own anything grubby–honest!)

But I couldn’t let the kiddos take my car to South Dakota for their fancy Christian rock festival when the oil hadn’t been changed in who knows how long. (I haven’t changed it since I bought the car in …was it April?) So, tonight was it. It had to be.

Tonight, after all this long lead-up time, I…

  • dressed in my painting pants and a t-shirt I rarely wear (sorry Jeremy!)
  • drove my car up onto what I’m choosing to call stilts
  • covered my backside with water (it rained today) while trying to locate my oil filter and drain nut.
  • borrowed a wrench and some “rags” (aka old undershirts) from my dad
  • almost gave myself a hernia trying to loosen the drain nut. (That thing was on TIGHT!)
  • Changing my oil

  • watched in wonder as an arc of disgustingly dirty oil spurted from my car
  • fumbled with the oil filter wrench a half a dozen times before I got the filter loosened
  • dropped the oil filter down my one arm onto the pavement (So sorry for that spill, Dad!)
  • Changing my oil 2

  • fumbled with the oil filter wrench again while replacing the filter
  • Changing my oil 3

  • refilled the oil

It took almost an hour (yeah, I’m a slow learner) and caused my sister’s rolls to raise too high–and got me just a WEE bit messy–but I’ve done it. I’ve changed my oil. I feel like a truly empowered female.