Thankful Thursday: With

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Activities are great, but it’s the ones we do them with that really make them wonderful.

This week I’m thankful…

…for Sewing with Ruth
Ruth has been out of town traveling for what seems like forever, but she was free Easter evening so she and I got together for some sewing in my newly cleaned/organized craft room.

…for Dancing with the girls
My sister-in-laws’ brother got married this past weekend and Daniel and I went up to Lincoln for the wedding (as much to see the Little Misses as to celebrate with Johnny, but nobody’s telling, right?) They had a dance and I had a great time dancing like old times with all my Lincoln girls. How many times have Anna and Grace and Joanna and Casandra and I danced together at weddings? I couldn’t say, but it’s got to be at least a half a dozen.

…for Skyping with my family
While we were in Lincoln, we decided to do a whole-family Skype session with Okinawa. Little Master Menter is almost one – and Mommy has an oh-so-adorable baby bump. It took a bit of prodding to get her to show us, but she gave us an exclusive at last (too shy to post on Facebook). Daddy is never shy, and was glad to pull up his shirt and show us HIS belly.

…for Cooking with friends
Rachel was out of town with school, so her husband was cooking for our Tuesday night meal at their house. Cooking for a crowd (ten, in this case) is always a bit of a stress, and everything takes longer than you expect – I was glad to be able to roll up my sleeves and pitch in in the kitchen.

…for Singing with the Living Word
I love going through the Psalms and reading verses that I know as songs – and I’ve long wanted to create a Scripture song database of sorts to catalog those wonderful Scripture songs. While the database idea ended up being too involved (I worked on it a few afternoons, but seem to have lost my knack with Microsoft Access – it was so much easier when I was a teen), I have been going ahead and creating a list of Scripture songs (eventually, I plan to compile them on bekahcubed, along with embedded youtube videos so we can hear the songs in action). It’s been wonderful singing my way through the Psalms, worshipping the Faithful God who is worthy of all praises.


Planning for a Healthy Pregnancy (Part 4)

We’re in the home stretch now, almost ready to start trying for a baby. You’ve quit the bad stuff and attained a healthy weight. You’ve gotten pre-existing conditions under control. And you’ve gotten immunizations and dental care out of the way. Now, all you need to do is head down to the supplement aisle of your nearest drugstore and…

…and stare blankly at the thousands of options that meet your eye.

What on earth should you be taking before you try to conceive?

6. Start taking a vitamin

There are lots of opinions on the value of vitamin supplementation or the lack thereof. The standard professional response to the question of “should I be taking a vitamin?” is that “the best source of vitamins and minerals is a healthy diet.” And that’s absolutely right.

Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t eat a healthy diet. Which is why a whole spate of other professionals respond with “a good multivitamin is good nutritional insurance.”

So what’s a hoping-to-become-pregnant woman to do?

Well, there is one nutrient for which we know supplementation is absolutely beneficial. All women who are capable of becoming pregnant (whether they’re actively trying or not) should ensure that they are getting 400 mcg of folic acid, either from fortified foods or from supplements.

Folic acid is essential for a baby’s brain or spinal cord development, but the most important weeks for this development are before you miss your first period – which means you need to make sure you’re getting enough folic acid BEFORE you get pregnant.

It’s possible that you don’t need a supplement to get even this – if you religiously eat breakfast cereal or a sandwich daily and your daily intake from fortified foods equals 100% of the Daily Value (check the nutrition facts panel on your cereal and bread), you can breathe a sigh of relief. But if you don’t currently eat 100% every single day, you should be taking a supplement that contains 400-800 mcg of folic acid.

That’s all you really need for the prepregnancy period, unless you have reason to suspect that you have a nutritional deficiency. (For my part, I knew that I should probably take my known Vitamin D deficiency more seriously since I’d be hurting not just myself but potentially a growing baby by staying deficient.)

But it might be worthwhile to also look into what your increasing needs will be during pregnancy and incorporate those supplements in now.

The three nutrients that are worth looking at are 1) iodine, 2) iron, and 3) calcium.

Iodine is a mineral that is very important for thyroid function – and thyroid controls our rate of metabolism and therefore baby’s rate of growth. Iodine needs are increased during pregnancy from 150 mcg to 220 mcg per day. The majority of the iodine in our diets (especially for those of us who live far from the sea and don’t eat seaweed :-P) comes from iodized salt. During pregnancy, you would need to be eating 3/4 tsp of iodized salt daily to get enough. If you’re a really liberal salter, you might be okay – but if, like me, you use little salt in your cooking and don’t usually salt at the table, you’re probably not getting enough. While I do recommend making sure that the salt you DO use is iodized (I had to switch mine since Daniel and I somehow managed to end up with some non-iodized salt that I’d been trying fruitlessly to use up), I don’t recommend that you start salting things more. While a small portion of the population could handle additional salt, the majority of us get way too much sodium from the processed foods we eat – but this salt generally doesn’t contain any iodine. So, to make sure you’ll be getting enough iodine during pregnancy, I recommend looking for a multivitamin that contains both that 400-800 mcg of folic acid AND 100% of the daily value for iodine (that’ll be 150 mcg).

Iron is a tricky one. The research is mixed regarding the benefits or drawbacks of iron supplementation during pregnancy – and the evidence is currently insufficient to recommend that all pregnant women take an iron supplement. On the other hand, iron-deficiency during pregnancy is one of the most common preventable pregnancy complications. If you have been diagnosed with anemia in the past, it might be a good idea to ask your doctor about checking your hemoglobin before you conceive and treating anemia now. If you suspect that your iron intake is low, you could do a three day food diary and check out how close your current intake comes to the daily value. Check labels to see if your daily intake comes up to 100% of the Daily Value. If you’re usually getting 100%, don’t fret unless your doctor tells you otherwise. But if you’re generally getting less than 75% of the Daily Value, it might be worthwhile to include iron in your supplement.

Calcium is the third nutrient that some women may not get quite enough of during pregnancy. If you’re a milk drinker who currently drinks 3 cups (24 oz, not 3 glasses) of milk a day, you probably don’t need to worry. But if you only have milk in your cereal, you may not be getting enough calcium. Like iron and folic acid, though, calcium values are listed on the nutrition facts labels. So, do that three day food diary, count up your calcium intake. If you’re usually getting less than 75% of the daily value, you might want to consider supplementing some calcium as well.

Now that you know what your supplement should contain, it’s time to choose your supplements.

I generally recommend starting with a multivitamin that contains at least 400 mcg folic acid and 150 mcg iodine. If your daily intake of iron and calcium is less than 75% of the daily value, go ahead and look for a supplement that contains 100% of the daily value for iron and at least 20% of the daily value for calcium. If you already have anemia or if your calcium intake is less than 50% of the daily value, it’s probably better than you choose a multivitamin without extra calcium and iron and choose to supplement those separately instead. It’s also important to note what the multivitamin should NOT contain. It should NOT have any more than 100% of Vitamins A, D, E, and K (the four fat soluble vitamins can build up in your body and lead to toxicity – and Vitamin A, in particular, can be very dangerous for a growing baby) and it should NOT have any herbal additives.

If you’re most women, that one multivitamin should be all you need for the preconception period and during pregnancy. You should NOT take any additional vitamin, mineral, or herbal supplements unless they are prescribed by your doctor.

If you were anemic before pregnancy, your doctor will likely give you directions for how to supplement. Generally, iron-deficiency anemia is treated with a ferrous sulfate supplement containing 65 mg iron once or twice a day. You should take these as the doctor recommends, keeping in mind that “twice a day” does not mean “two pills a day.” Your body can only absorb a certain amount of iron at a time, so taking two pills at a time means one will probably just go right through. Take the iron pill with a little bit of 100% fruit juice (which contains extra vitamin C) to help you absorb the iron better.

If your intake of calcium is very low (less than 50%), you should probably be taking a separate calcium supplement. Choose calcium carbonate or calcium citrate (NOT oyster shell calcium, which can be contaminated) in a dose that will bring you up to 100% of the daily value for calcium. The calcium in the supplement will be best absorbed if it contains no more than 500 mg of calcium in each dose, and if it is accompanied by some vitamin D. I do recommend trying to keep your daily intake of Vitamin D from supplements below 2000 IU daily unless you have a documented Vitamin D deficiency and are taking Vitamin D under the supervision of a doctor – so check the labels of both the multivitamin and the calcium and make sure your daily intake will be less than 2000 IU.

In my case, I ended up with a generic men’s over 60 one-a-day multivitamin (which contains 400 mcg folic acid and 150 mcg iodine), a iron supplement (65 mg iron), and a calcium supplement (600 mg calcium and 500 IU vitamin D-yep, I know I’m losing 100 mg worth of calcium, but it’s actually cheaper for me to flush that extra 100 mg than to buy a smaller dose). I’m taking the iron primarily because the men’s one-a-day doesn’t contain iron, not because I have preexisting anemia. If I were having constipation with the iron supplement (as many women do, but I am not so far), I would take it only every other day (since it contains a little over double the daily requirement.) I take the multivitamin with breakfast, the calcium at lunch, the iron at supper, and a second calcium (actually used to correct my vitamin D deficiency, not so much for the extra calcium) right before bed.

Most of you should be able to get away with just a multivitamin – so you can breathe a sigh of relief!


And now, at last we’re done planning and ready to START TRYING!!!


Planning for a Healthy Pregnancy (Part 3)

Even if you’ve done the three steps in Part 1 and Part 2, you’ve still got more you can do before you conceive to improve your pregnancy’s health.

4. Get immunized

Did you get all your shots as a child? Are you up-to-date on all your boosters? If you haven’t gotten or aren’t sure if you’ve gotten the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine and the Hepatitis B vaccine, now’s the time to get it done. If you didn’t get chickenpox as a child, you need the varicella vaccine too. And if you haven’t gotten a tetanus booster in the past ten years, you need one of those.

Play it safe and take your shot records along with you to your preconception appointment with your doctor and have him make sure you’re up-to-date. He may want to do some blood tests to make sure you’ve still got immunity to some of the things you were vaccinated against as a child.

Additionally, if it’s flu season when you’re thinking of trying, go ahead and get the flu vaccine. If it’s not yet flu season, don’t freak out yet, you can (and should) get your flu shot while you’re pregnant if you happen to be pregnant when the next flu shot becomes available.

I got all my shots as a child (including the MMR) and got the Hepatitis B vaccine when I first started working in healthcare. I had chickenpox three times, the last time of which rendered me immune (and allows me to experience shingles as an adult). I get a flu shot every year, this one no exception… and I cut myself badly enough that I got a Tdap (Tetanus, Diphtheria, and acellular pertusis) booster earlier this year. So no shots for me until next flu season (and another Tdap in my third trimester, since pertussis or “whooping cough” is not something I want to mess with and getting a shot myself is the best way to protect my newborn).

5. Take care of your teeth

Does this seem a weird one to you? It kinda does to me.

But it’s true. Having healthy teeth and gums can make a big difference in your pregnancy. Gum disease prior to pregnancy increases adverse pregnancy outcomes. It’s wild but true. And while you can try to get your teeth healthy during pregnancy, there isn’t really much evidence that this helps prevent those adverse pregnancy outcomes. You’ve got to get to it beforehand. So, if you haven’t had a dental cleaning in the past 6 months, get one scheduled. If you don’t already brush your teeth twice a day with fluoride toothpaste, get started. And if you aren’t flossing every single day? Find a floss or an interdental cleaner that you will use and start using it. (Flossing is the single best way to prevent or solve the gum disease that increases pregnancy risk.)

And if you’ve been putting off some dental work that needs to be done? Get it done before you start trying to get pregnant. If you have teeth that need extracted (like my wisdom teeth!), it’s tons nicer to be able to be OUT for the procedure – and they won’t do that if you’re pregnant. Maybe you just need a cavity filled? While you can get that done during pregnancy, it’s best to avoid silver-amalgam (aka mercury amalgam) fillings during pregnancy – and it’s also a good idea to avoid doing anything in the mouth that might release some of the mercury from your existing fillings into your bloodstream. So get that dental work done now!

Up-to-date on your cleanings and don’t have any work that needs done? Don’t worry about it. Keep practicing good oral hygiene; you can keep your next 6-month check up even if you’re pregnant when that comes around.


We’re on the home stretch now – I’ll be talking next about how to choose the right vitamin(s) to start taking to prepare your body for pregnancy and then we’ll be READY TO START TRYING!


Nightstand (April 2014)

It’s been a beautiful and busy month here in Wichita, what with setting out seedlings and preparing a Seder and getting close to the end of Daniel’s semester (one more month until he’s got his MBA!)

And I’m not even going to estimate how my reading has been compared to previous months. It is what it is.

This month, I read:

  • Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis with Beth Clark
    I read this with my church’s book club and was… disappointed. The writing is poor, the story told without soul. And the worst part of all was that Katie is a missionary, but I saw nothing in the book to suggest that Katie understands or shares the gospel (not that she doesn’t use the word the gospel…) I might review this in more depth later. Or I might not.
  • To Do List by Sasha Cagen
    A very fun look into the lives of dozens of people, all through the to-do lists they submitted to the author. Majorly interesting, mostly fun, occasionally crude. Let the reader be warned.
  • Charity Girl by Georgette Heyer
    Yes, I like Heyer. This one had very little romance but plenty of little laughs. Perfect.
  • Catalog Living at its most absurd by Molly Erdman
    The author pokes fun at stock photographs by writing blurbs by a fictional couple to go along with the photos. A great light read with lots of laughs-out-loud.
  • The Prenatal Prescription by P.W. Nathanielsz
    A dry but not awful look at the science behind prenatal programming. A terrible prenatal program (not because the science wasn’t sound but because the author didn’t communicate clear ways to implement the science into real life). I guess you’ll just have to wait until I write my own prenatal nutrition program :-P
  • One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
    I finally finished this one and reviewed it. It was beautiful and frustrating. I can’t summarize it better than in my review, so you might have to check that out.
  • My Man Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse
    I listened to this one (my library only had an audio version) in conjunction with this month’s Reading to Know Classics Bookclub. As usual, Wodehouse is a delight. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was a collection of short stories (not all including Jeeves and Wooster). It was nice not to have to keep track of a long story line since I was listening in the car and rarely drive for more than ten minutes at a time.

In Progress:

  • I got pregnant, you can too! by Katie Boland
    Because I’m reading the library and figured I might as well do more of the preconception books (since I’ve already read several). I will *not* be recommending this one. The author’s life is a soap opera and it’s only going to get worse. I’m considering just calling it done, even though I haven’t yet gotten to where she meets her spirit guide. Yep. Blech!
  • Paranoid Parenting: Why ignoring the experts may be best for your child by Frank Furedi
    Just started this last night, but I’m already liking it. At the same time, I’m wondering if I won’t have some issues if he starts talking nutrition. I’m fine with ignoring the experts until you start ignoring me.
  • The Gift of Health : the complete pregnancy diet for your baby’s wellness by Karin Michels
    I think this is the last book my library has on prenatal programming, for which I am glad. All the books I’ve read on it so far were published around the same time period (2003) and review the same information. Some are better written than others, but it’s still all review. This one might be the best so far, but I’m not sure I’d recommend even it.
  • The Atonement: It’s meaning and significance by Leon Morris
    Lisa wrote about this book on her last month’s nightstand and I picked it up right away. I’m moving slowly, but this is a great look at what God accomplished in salvation.
  • The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
    I’ve already read and reviewed this book – but I’m rereading because I’ll be leading a discussion on it for my church’s book club next month! Yay! I love this book and am just speeding through it.
  • Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan
    My little brother read this in his high school economics class and really liked it. And I’m reading the economics section at my library, so I picked it up. A couple chapters in, it’s a very readable and enjoyable intro to economic principles (without the math).

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?


Risen and Reigning

Last Sunday, a small group of us gathered around our dining room table to repeat the ancient words and complete the ancient rituals.

We lifted the matzoh after supper and remembered the One who had declared this His body, slain for us. We contemplated the stripes, the piercings. We reflected on the lamb no longer killed each spring because the Lamb has been slain once for all.

We look upon the cross, the crux of history. We look upon the One slain, hanging there, giving His body. We break the bread and eat it.

We lifted the cup after supper and remembered the One who had declared this His blood, spilled for us for the remission of sins.

We look upon the cross, the crux of history. We look upon the One slain, hanging there, spilling His blood. We rejoice to drink the cup of redemption.

The Haggadah quickly took us to Psalms of praise. We recited the Dayenu (check out my comment on Lisa’s post for a brief description of Dayenu). We sang of the cross.

Then our cross-eyes moved forward as we poured the fourth cup – the cup of rejoicing. We recalled that Jesus did not drink this cup. He was to complete the cup of redemption that next day – the cup of rejoicing was still to come. Jesus announced that He would not drink the cup of rejoicing, but that cup stayed before His eyes.

The author of Hebrews tells us the Jesus endured the cross “for the joy that was set before him” (Heb 12:2 ESV). He looked past the shame of the cross with which He worked redemption to the joy of the cup that was to come.

This Sunday, we celebrated Easter. We sang that “Christ the Lord is risen today – Hallelujah.” The choir sang the Hallelujah Chorus with orchestral accompaniment. This swelled my chest and made me burst with joy, but it wasn’t this that brought tears to my eyes.

Instead, it was a song that I’m not particularly fond of, but one that included the refrain “Worthy is the Lamb.”

My eyes moved past the cross to the throne room of God, where four living creatures and twenty-four elders fall on their faces before a Lamb who was slain but now stands. I hear them sing together

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might
and honor and glory and blessing!”

~Revelation 5:12 (ESV)

Jesus Christ died, was risen, now sits enthroned in heaven.

My mind is transported to where He is and I set the fourth cup before me.

I hear the One testifying “Surely I am coming soon” and, with John, my soul cries out “Amen. Come Lord Jesus.”

For the Lamb who was slain is risen and reigning in heaven. May He come to reign on earth as He is in heaven.


Planning for a healthy pregnancy (Part 2)

So you’ve been working through my prepregnancy list. You’ve got all those bad habits squashed and you’ve reached a healthy weight.

Or maybe, like me, you don’t have any bad habits to quit and your BMI is already between 20 and 30.

You’re (We’re) not off the hook yet. There’s more.

3. Get any pre-existing medical conditions under control

Are you currently on any medications? If so, it’s worthwhile to talk to your doctor and make sure they’re safe for use during pregnancy. If possible, it’s nice to switch to pregnancy-safe medications prior to trying to become pregnant–it can save you the grief of struggling to figure out how to get things under control while your hormones are swinging in early pregnancy (and reduce the chances of your baby being exposed to something potentially harmful while in utero.)

What if you’re not on any medications at present? That’s great, as long as that means that you’re healthy. But if you have asthma, depression, diabetes, epilepsy, lupus, phenylketonurea, polycystic ovarian syndrome, or thyroid conditions that aren’t being treated (or not being treated optimally), you could be putting your pregnancy at risk. If you have any of these conditions (or suspect that you have any of these conditions), it’s best to schedule a preconception appointment with your doctor to make sure everything’s under control.

Additionally, if you or your partner have ever had sex with anyone other than each other, you should have a gynecological exam and get tested for sexually transmitted infections. Getting evaluated and treated prior to pregnancy can make a big difference in the health of your pregnancy.

For my part, I have a thyroid condition, so I knew I wanted to make sure I was taking an optimum dose of replacement hormones. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor to get a TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) and free T4 test done to check on the adequacy of my thyroid hormones. It looks like I’m doing well now, but I also know that I need to go in for another test as soon as I find out I’m pregnant as dose-changes during pregnancy are very common and can make a big difference to baby’s health.

I’m also on an antidepressant, so I knew I needed to take a look at that too. Depression during pregnancy can be dangerous to mom and baby’s health since depression often leads to a host of unhealthy behaviors, so it’s important that depression be under control. At the same time, antidepressant medications may pose some risk to the baby. For that reason, it’s important to balance the cost and benefits of medicating for depression during pregnancy. If counseling or behavioral techniques are sufficient to manage your depression, that’s fantastic. Otherwise, you want to be on the lowest dose of the safest type of medication that will manage your depression. In general, the safest types of antidepressants are SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), medications like Prozac and Zoloft. Since my medication is an SSRI, I can stay with my current medication, but I want to find the lowest effective dose. The thing with psychoactive medications, though, is that they can’t just be cut off cold turkey. You need to talk with your doctor about the best way to taper your dose. The plan my doctor and I came up with was that I’d take a full pill every other day with a half pill on the opposite day for two weeks. At the end of two weeks, if my depression was still under control, I could move to a half pill every day, and so on and so forth. Depending on which medication you’re taking and the severity of your symptoms, your doctor may recommend another regimen.

My final medical condition that needed to be checked out was allergies. Grrr. Allergies.

About a third of women experience an increase in allergy symptoms during pregnancy. Another third see no difference in allergy symptoms. The final fortunate third experience a decrease in allergy symptoms. Since my allergies are currently awful, I have a 67% chance that I’ll still have awful allergies during pregnancy. Which means that it would do me well to get them under control (in a pregnancy-safe way) now.

The first step was evaluating what I was already taking and determining whether those medications were pregnancy-safe.

  • Guaifenesin (Mucinex)-an expectorant, safety in pregnancy unknown. This is nice but not absolutely required to control my allergy symptoms. I can just drink lots of water or hot tea to keep my fluids running. I chose to discontinue this and use those non-drug options.
  • Pseudoephedrine (Sudafed)-a decongestant, generally considered safe during pregnancy but not recommended for breastfeeding. Decongestants dry up body fluids, including cervical mucous (which is helpful when you’re trying to get pregnant) and breastmilk. Which means I could benefit from going off the psuedoephedrine now. To manage nasal congestion, I’m now taking an inhaled corticosteroid, which doesn’t have systemic effects (and therefore isn’t as risky for either pregnancy or breastfeeding.)
  • Fexofenadine (Allegra)-an antihistamine, safety in pregnancy unknown. I tried going without and just using the inhaled corticosteroid–but my eyes itch and my sinuses plug, so I have to stay on some sort of antihistamine. The doctor recommended cetirizine (Zyrtec) or loratadine (Claritan), two better studied antihistamines. For now, I’m experimenting with cetirizine, trying to see if I can manage the drowsy side effect by adjusting what time I take it. If that doesn’t work, I may have to go with Claritan (less safe and, at least when I used it back in high school, not very effective for me).

Your process, depending on what sort of medications you’re on or what conditions you’re treating, may be a little different. But the general steps you and your doctor will want to take will be:

  1. Evaluate the risks associated with a poorly controlled condition
    For example, uncontrolled hypothyroidism or diabetes can be horrible for the baby. Uncontrolled respiratory allergies? Not so much unless they’re accompanied by uncontrolled asthma. In my case, I’m going without a lot of my allergy meds because the only risk is decreased quality of life for me. If I start having more asthma episodes once I’m pregnant? I’ll probably be ramping back on to some more serious allergy meds
  2. Evaluate the risks associated with your current medication regimen
    Depending on the risks of your current medication regimen and the process you went through to get to your current regimen (for example, if you tried multiple medications before you found one that adequately controlled your condition), your doctor may decide that no changes to your medications are needed. On the other hand, your doctor may want to try some lower-risk alternatives to your current regimen.
  3. Adjust medications to maximize benefits and minimize risks
    Especially if you’re taking a high risk medication and haven’t tried a lower risk one, your doctor will probably try either switching to a lower risk one or adjusting your dose down to find the lowest possible risk (from medication) while still maintaining adequate control (to avoid risk from an uncontrolled medical condition.)

This step can be a long one, depending on what kind of medical conditions you have and what kind of medicines you’re on. That’s why it’s worthwhile to set up a preconception appointment as soon as you start thinking about trying to become pregnant.


And yes, I’m still not done. I’m guessing there’ll be one or two more installments in the planning section–and then, who knows, maybe I’ll be able to talk a bit about post-planning pregnancy health :-)


Trade Offs

Every yes we say carries with it a dozen nos.

By saying yes to one activity, I say no to a dozen others.

By saying yes to one purchase, I say no to a dozen more.

By saying yes to one career path, I say no to a dozen others.

Every choice I make to includes the choice to not.

All of us make trade-offs. It’s a part of our finite lives.

We do not have infinite time or money or energy. And every choice we make reminds us of our limits.


I was telling Daniel about a case I had once, of a man with dysgeusia (bad taste in the mouth). I’d run through every possible cause for his dysgeusia and ruled out or fixed everything. He was barely eating and was losing weight quickly, so I knew I had to do something. I spent some time researching and finally decided to go out on a limb. We supplemented him with zinc (a therapy with only tenuous research behind it) on the off-chance that it might help (between his current iron supplements and his copious milk intake, I knew the odds were high that his absorption of zinc were altered, so it wasn’t entirely a stab in the dark.)

The man still complained of dysgeusia after initiating the zinc, but his intake improved and his weight started to stabilize. I considered it a success.

Hearing this story, Daniel asked me quite seriously: “It sounds like you did a lot of problem solving in your old job. Do you miss that?”

I confessed that yes, I did. I loved researching problems, figuring out root causes, applying treatments to fix problems. But that doesn’t mean I want to go back to my old job.

The problem-solving was fun, but that wasn’t the bulk of what I did. The bulk of what I did was paperwork, myriads and myriads of government paperwork. I worked 60+ hour weeks. I drove an hour to get to my job a couple times a week. I was barely at home.

At my current job, I spend little time problem-solving. Or, to clarify, I spend little time digging into things that are a mystery for me. I spend a lot of time helping mothers problem-solve, but the majority of the time, the problem (and its solutions) are fairly clear to me after conducting a detailed nutrition assessment. My role is to help mom understand the cause of her child’s problem, and to suggest (or help her develop) strategies to deal with this cause. So I don’t get the same intellectual stimulation of researching problems and coming up with underlying causes and researching potential solutions.

But I spend the bulk of my time actually helping people, instead of doing paperwork. I work just 40 hours a week. I drive home on my lunch break. I’ll take this less-intellectually-stimulating job any day.

That’s a trade-off I’m willing to make.


We finished up our Sunday School on marriage and had a Q&A session with the facilitators (a trio of married couples). I asked a question about how having their first children impacted their marriages and what they did (or would have done) to strengthen their marriages during the young-children phase.

The facilitators gave some direct responses to my question, as did some of our classmates. Others reminded us to enjoy the season we’re in right now, before kids. Many mentioned, in these reminders, the things they haven’t been able to do because they had children early in their marriages: trips they can’t go on, things they can’t buy. I understood what they were trying to say–to take the time to relish new married life without always looking ahead to the next season. But I also considered how there aren’t trips I wish to go on, things I wish to buy.

In fact, when I consider buying things or going on trips after our student loans are paid off and before we have children, my stomach turns as I consider having to continue working a job longer than the current plan demands.

For now, I’m working to pay off student loans so that we can have the financial freedom to do many of the things we want to do (have children, adopt or foster, have me stay at home). For this, I give the best part of my day, most of my energy to my job. The trade-off is that I get home and have little of my day, little energy left for my home – the place I really want to be, the role I really relish.

Once loans are paid off, the benefit of extra money in the bank or extra stuff in our lives pales in comparison with the loss of my best energy, my 40 hours a week.

I turned to Daniel and said, “That’s it, once we pay off loans, whether I’m pregnant or not, I quit my job.”

That isn’t really it. We’ll discuss it when and if that situation arises. It may be that the trade-offs will look different at that point. Maybe adoption will look like our immediate plan and applying my salary to save for adoption expenses will be worthwhile. Maybe it’ll be something completely unanticipated.

Regardless, every yes is also a no, every choice a reminder that we are finite beings, making trade-offs trying to maximize the time we have.

But oh, how I long for eternity, when there will be time enough that my yeses are not also nos.


Book Review: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

It’s not that I don’t like poetry – I just like clarity more.

And Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts is long on one and short on the other.

Having read a few of Voskamp’s blog posts, I was familiar with her style – sentence fragments, simultaneous run-ons, metaphors that carry through paragraphs and suddenly morph. I knew already that I could only handle her in rather small doses, but that when I did read a dose, I was often encouraged.

If I’d have been expecting a Christian living book, a how-to of some sort or a theology, I’d have been sorely disappointed. Because One Thousand Gifts is neither of these. It is a memoir, written in free verse, of a woman whose life was transformed as she began to practice “eucharisto” (thankfulness).

As such, it is lovely. It is a meandering book, best read slowly over the course of many weeks. I took the full three months the library allowed to read through it. I savored pretty turns of phrase and reflected not on the thoughts conveyed but on the gratitude displayed.

So long as I did that, I loved it.

The problem came in whenever I tried to think about it.

Having read One Thousand Gifts, I have no idea what Voskamp’s theology really is. I know that she quotes some people I respect greatly, theological giants – but she also quotes mystics whose connection to Biblical Christianity is questionable at best. Voskamp hints at some understanding of the cross, of God’s sovereignty – but she spends much more of her time discussing the mystical idea that eucharisto somehow makes things happen.

Yet I’m not sure if it is a mystical idea to her, or if I merely perceive it that way because of the poetical writing style. Does she really believe that eucharisto is some sort of lucky charm, that entices miracles into being (as she seems to suggest when she repeatedly references Jesus giving thanks and then feeding 5000)? I do not know.

And that’s the difficulty with reviewing this book.

It’s not that I don’t like poetry – I just like clarity more.

And Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts is long on one and short on the other.


That said, I think it is worthwhile to note that reading this book has inspired me to take more notice of the gifts God has given me throughout the day to day. For that, I am thankful.


Rating: 3 stars
Category: Spiritual Memoir
Synopsis: Ann Voskamp is transformed as she begins living a life of eucharisto, listing the gifts God has given her.
Recommendation: If you like Voskamp’s style, it’s worthwhile to read and be reminded to be thankful. If you don’t like her style or know that you’ll be frustrated by theological ambiguity, go ahead and skip it.


Stagnant

I was reading some of my old posts, some of those posts from the summer I met Daniel, when I was steeping in 1 John and dealing with idols and having my love transformed.

It made me ache. A hollow sort of ache. A how-have-I-lost, what-have-I-lost, where-have-I-gone sort of ache.

I miss seeing God on the pages of Scripture, miss hearing His voice as I read. I miss the intense focused dependence, the desperate knowledge that I needed God above anything else.

What was a flowing fountain has become a stagnant pool, but how did it get here and how can I restore this sullied spring?

I need Elisha’s salt to heal the waters of my heart, so that they would no longer cause death or miscarriage (2 Kings 2:19-22). But where is such salt to be found? Where is the Lord, the God of Elijah, who brings life to dead bones?

I need the water that in me becomes a a spring of water welling up to eternal life (John 4:14).

So I come to the one who promises drink, the one who promises to cause my heart to flow out with rivers of living water.

I declare that I believe, help my unbelief.

“On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, ‘If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, “Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”‘ Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.”

~John 7:37-39 (ESV)


Book Review: The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge

Elizabeth Goudge’s The Little White Horse is a children’s fantasy book curiously set up in twelve chapters with 3-5 parts each.

In the first chapter, we set the stage and introduce a few of the main characters: newly orphaned thirteen-year-old Maria Merryweather, Maria’s governess (who suffers from indigestion and eats very delicately), Maria’s dog Wiggins (who lives to eat), the enormous Sir Benjamin with whom Maria is now going to live, Sir Benjamin’s enormous not-quite-dog Wrolf, and two individuals whom Maria’s governess is sure are entirely imaginary. Goudge’s descriptions here in chapter one are delightful.

“It was indigestion that had ruined her nose, not overindulgence. She never complained of her indigestion, she just endured it, and it was because she never complained that she was so misunderstood by everyone except Maria. Not that she had ever mentioned her indigestion even to Maria, for she had been brought up by her mother to believe that it is the mark of a True Gentlewoman never to say anything to anybody about herself ever. But Miss Heliotrope’s passion for peppermints was in the course of time traced by the discerning Maria to its proper source.

So distressing was Miss Heliotrope’s nose, set in the surrounding pallor of her thin pale face…

But chapter one also introduces us to Mysteries–Mysteries that compound over the course of the book, one partially resolving to unveil yet another yawning one. What is it about the little white horse that Maria sees when she first arrives, which Sir Benjamin seems to recognize, but which is never seen again? Why has their not been a woman in Sir Benjamin’s house for 20 years, and who keeps the house so clean and prepares Maria’s clothes each morning? Why do the Black Men of the forests of Moonacre wreak such havoc on the inhabitants of the area?

Of course, Maria manages to eventually figure out the mysteries and solve every problem Moonacre has, all the while picking up an entourage of adoring people and animals. And everyone gets married in the end.

This was my first reading of The Little White Horse, and I enjoyed it tremendously. The story was engaging, a light little escape into a fantasy world where I knew everything would turn out all right in the end.

That said, I spent plenty of time suspending disbelief. When every person takes to Maria immediately and starts disclosing deep secrets. When Maria’s stories, invented on the spur of the moment to get her out of difficulty, turn out to be true. When Maria gets married at age 13.

Yes, that’s right. Among the three marriages that occur at the end of the book are 13-year-old Maria’s marriage to her beloved once-presumed-to-be-imaginary-friend who used to visit her in London (for real but while he was dreaming in Moonacre?)

Yeah, plenty of suspension of disbelief. I nodded all the way through Carrie’s review. That said, I still liked it. I just did.

I wouldn’t mind owning a copy. I wouldn’t mind reading it out loud to my children at some point. I would point out that getting married at 13 is not at all the thing.


Rating: 3 stars
Category: Children’s fantasy
Synopsis: A fun, frivolous fantasy in which an orphaned girl sets things aright in Moonacre, her cousin’s ancestral property.
Recommendation: Read, but be prepared to suspend disbelief


I read this as a part of Carrie’s Reading to Know Classics Book Club Check out what other bloggers are saying about this book there.