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Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: “Always Talk to Strangers” by David Wygant

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Remember how someone said to never talk to strangers?

David Wygant suggests that to find the love of your life, you must do exactly the opposite.

Since dating is a numbers game, Wygant surmises, the more people you meet, the more people you’ll date. And the more people you date, the better your chance of meeting the love of your life.

Wygant lays out his “three simple tips” in Always Talk to Strangers:

  1. Prepare before you leave the house
  2. Figure out when and where to meet people
  3. Meet them

In 218 very readable pages, Wygant breaks down his three simple tips. First, he says, you need to make sure you’re reasonably attractive to the opposite sex by getting a mental and physical makeover. Second, you need to recognize opportunities to meet people (He suggests blind dating, internet dating, and meeting people around town.) Third, you need to know how to approach someone, introduce yourself, strike up a conversation, and end with their phone number in hand.

I found that Wygant’s overall philosophy makes a lot of sense. The simple fact of the matter is that if you want to marry a man, you first have to meet him. So if you increase your meetings, you should be increasing your odds of marrying.

Of course, there’s a lot more that goes into it than that–but Wygant’s focus is on the odds. He’s not going to tell you how to do things once you’re in a relationship–he’s just telling you how to meet people.

I can respect that. It’s refreshing to read something with such a narrow (maybe?) focus.

As I read, a couple of thoughts kept running through my head. The first was that all that meeting and dating sounds exhausting (On one occasion, the author suggests arranging dates at least four evenings a week–with different people that you’ve met online or around town). The second thought was “This wouldn’t have to just be about getting a date.”

The fact is, the “techniques” for meeting people could just as easily be used simply as a way of developing relationships with people around you. Socially isolated mothers could use it to maybe find some adult conversation on their limited forays out of the home. Christians who work in some form of “ministry” could use it to meet unbelievers with whom to share Christ (Yes, I know there are plenty of us who, at some time in our lives, have had virtually no contact with unbelievers.) Awkward folks (like me) could use it to develop friendships when they’re transplanted into a new context (a new job, a new town, a new school…) The possibilities are endless–and the techniques (recognizing opportunities to meet people in unexpected contexts, directly approaching people, using props to strike up a conversation, asking for someone’s number in a non-creepy way) are useful.

On the other hand, some of the information is specific to seeking out a date as opposed to just a friend. The author talks a fair bit about sex appeal and about telling someone you think they’re attractive (probably not the best “pick up” line for a same-sex friend). Also, the chapters on blind dating and internet dating are pretty much only applicable for someone seeking a date.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, Wygant is a secular author–with all the inherent values (or lack thereof). He takes a female liberation standpoint on girls taking initiative in relationships. He’s heavy on “sexy” and not so much on shared values or ideas. He apparently has no qualms about people jumping into the sack with each other at a moment’s notice.

So there are definitely things one wouldn’t want to learn from this book.

Nevertheless, it was an interesting read and one that I sort of wish I could put (partially) into practice.

Truth is, though, I’m struggling to keep my head above water without a lot of additional relationships. I simply don’t have the time or the energy to be actively pursuing a relationship right now. Maybe after I get my dietary manager done with her classes…

Rating:2 Stars
Category:“Relationships”
Synopsis:How to increase your odds of meeting “the love of your life” by meeting more people.
Recommendation: I can’t really decide. If you struggle to meet people (like I do) but really want to meet more people, this could be useful (if taken with a good dose of good sense). Otherwise, well, it’d be pretty pointless, wouldn’t it?

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Around the House

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Thankful Thursday bannerI’m not going to lie by pretending that I’m anything but a homebody.

One of my favorite places to be is in my own home–curled up on the couch hand-quilting, at my computer desk blogging, in the kitchen baking, on the dock reading.

One of the unfortunate consequences of having to work for a living, though, is that I’m not home nearly as much as I’d like. And when I am home, my time is rushed and the house a wreck.

Nonetheless, I’m thankful for home, such as it is.

Today I’m thankful…

…for a box of vintage patterns categorized by date, sitting in my computer room (still there from when I was searching online for the dates for those last elusive patterns)

…for the quilt that is progressing, sitting in the living room (still there from when I was working on it while watching movies with my sisters this weekend)

…for the antique serving dish in the dining room, bought for me at auction by a good friend (and not yet in its place because I haven’t had time to rearrange the china to showcase it)

…for the handcrafted shelf given to me by another good friend–and still sitting in the hall more than a year post gift

…for the almost clean countertops and full fridge in the kitchen. Now that my little sister’s living with us, I have more impetus to cook (or maybe I’ve just been eager to do so all along.)

…for the tools scattered throughout the garage, evidences that Beth and I are making progress with our birthday wall-hangers

…for the lawn mowed with love, proof of the W boys’ willingness to help me–and to help their sister fund her missions trip to Greece this summer

…for the dock out back and conversations with Ruth on that dock

…for the sister now sleeping in the guest room

I have a home packed with blessings, undeserved gifts from God.

Thank You, Lord, for my home. Thank you, Lord, for my friends. Thank you, Lord, for filling my home–and my heart–with oh so very much.

Categories B3RD

There is no forbidden food

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Since the original forbidden fruit, the history of humanity has been rife with food rules.

Don’t eat this, do eat that. That food is bad, that food is good.

Today’s modern dieter (and most women, regardless of their dieting status) have a deeply-seated conviction that some foods are bad (maybe even evil.)

Popular diet counsel might disagree over which foods are good and which foods are bad, but all of them agree that food is moral and some foods forbidden.

That is frankly unbiblical.

When God gave humanity food, He gave them all the plants and all the animals. In other words, He gave them everything for food.

Later down the road, after a group of Pharisees berate the Savior and His disciples for their eating habits, Jesus replies in a landmark exposition on food:

“Hear me, all of you, and understand: There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him.”
~Mark 7:14-20

In this passage, Jesus sets aright the wrong thinking of his day. Food cannot make one clean or unclean. Food is amoral.

Food enters through the mouth and is excreted at the bottom. It is external to the body, not internal to the soul.

Food doesn’t defile us, our hearts do.

In saying this, Jesus clarifies several hundred years of teachings and traditions regarding which foods one can eat and which foods one cannot.

As Mark, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote: “Thus he declared all foods clean.”

Perhaps we might still be able to excuse our attitudes and popular teachings about good foods and bad foods by saying that this is only one passage–and that the original context was about hand washing anyway.

But it’s harder to ignore the apostle Paul’s stunning of indictment of those who follow “deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons”:

“…who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.”
~I Timothy 4:3-6

Here, Paul not only says that forbidding food is unnecessary, he says that it’s demonic.

That’s right. It’s demonic.

The enemy would have us live in a world of forbidden foods. He would have us concerned about eating the right foods and avoiding the wrong ones. He would have us plagued with guilt over the food in our cupboards or what we order in a restaurant.

God, on the other hand, created all foods good. Nothing is to be rejected.

God (through the apostle) does not stipulate what we should eat, but how we should eat it.

There is no forbidden food. All food is to be received with thanksgiving.

I know that this is probably one of my most controversial teachings about food. I also know that many will ask about the Old Testament dietary laws–since Scripture certainly contains plenty of food restrictions. I plan to address those next week, explaining how the Old Testament dietary laws have been fulfilled in Christ–and are not binding on the New Testament believer (either as a command or as a suggestion of what to eat and what not to eat).

Categories Theology

Sunday School in Review: Part 7

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After hours trying to figure out how to teach Nahum, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah, I gave up. In complete defiance to my usually very carefully typed lesson, I had no typed lesson, no handwritten notes. I opened my Bible to Nahum and started teaching.

In Nahum, we learned of God’s judgment on Nineveh–but wait, we asked, didn’t God show mercy to Nineveh? Why is He now going to destroy them?

In Habakkuk, we heard Habakkuk’s lament that God isn’t doing justice: “Why aren’t you giving people what they deserve?” We learned that God is just–which means that He DOES give people what they deserve.

My students had a legitimate question: “But didn’t we just learn last week that God is merciful–that He doesn’t give people what they deserve?”

I explained how God doesn’t give us what we deserve because Jesus volunteered to take what we deserved and give us what He deserved.

We moved on to Zephaniah to review the Day of the Lord–the day when God executes judgment on His enemies and shows mercy to the enemies that He’s made His friends.

We talked about God’s justice and God’s mercy. We talked about substitutionary atonement. We talked the salvation of God.

There’s no way I could have ended up there except for God’s orchestration of this unplanned lesson.

God is good.

I copied over my lesson for Zechariah and Malachi–and this time I don’t have any idea what I taught.

Ah, well. I guess we can’t remember everything.

Next week, I’d be moving into the New Testament–a terrifying chapter after the easy Old Testament.

Why do I say the New Testament is terrifying? I wrote about it on this blog as I moved into Acts:

“Teaching the Old Testament is easy.

Almost every line tells of our desperate need for salvation and our absolute inability to effect salvation of ourselves. Every line points forward, from where many of my students likely are (unregenerate) to Christ’s work.

Teaching the New Testament is hard.

The epistles are especially hard, since they’re written to believers. Most of the epistles answer the questions “What just happened?” and “Now what?”

Good questions, necessary questions, but ones I have a hard time teaching to little unbelievers.”

Read the rest of my explanation here.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: “Magi” by Daniel L Gilbert

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Even after all the other magi have left for a feast, Ramates continues hunting the elusive white leopard. But his hunt is interrupted when he sees a new star, shining in the Virgin’s bosom.

Ramates is overjoyed at the chance to finally make a name for himself as a stargazer and rushes to the temple to make an official sighting–only to find the prized white leopard already dead along his way, shot by another man’s arrow.

Thus begins Daniel Gilbert’s tale of the magistenes search for Shoshia–the deliverer foretold by the cult of Belteshazzar.

Magi is rich with cultural and historical details of the Parthian (Persian) religious and political world–and of how the Parthians interacted with Rome. The reader will learn historically accurate information about how the Parthians buried their dead versus how the Romans did, how crucifixions were carried out and why, how kings were anointed in ancient Persia, and how caravans traveled through the ancient world.

I loved this aspect of Magi.

Other parts were less exciting.

The author sounds like a scholar (which he is). He gives careful attention to historical details, but his attention to the craft of writing fiction is rather less impressive.

The author gives each character a name (including the guy who opens the door at the inn), and expects that the reader will remember every name and the position of the individual (even if the only way he figures into the story is that he opened a door.) This makes it difficult to keep the characters straight–and even more difficult to figure out what people or interactions are truly important to the story. Further more, the point of view jumps from one character to another willy-nilly making it hard to figure out whose head you’re inside at any given time.

I could tell that the author had a grand scheme of developing the main character Ramates throughout the book. Ramates is eager for fame, even willing to take fame that does not belong to him. He must learn humility as he travels to pay tribute to the newborn king. All this is good. I think it’s a brilliant idea, but the author falls short of producing a natural transformation. Instead of experiencing Ramates’ soul and watching his transformation, we remain outside, noting clinically that apparently a transformation has occurred.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed this book. A lot. But it was for the cultural details, not for the character development or writing style.

Rating:3 Stars
Category:Historical Fiction
Synopsis:After discovering a new star, Ramates must learn humility as he travels to pay tribute to the long-prophesied deliverer.
Recommendation: If you enjoy reading about historical and cultural details, you’ll enjoy this book. If you’re looking for a story to pull you in and a character to identify with, this probably isn’t going to cut it.

Categories Theology

Sunday School in Review: Part 6

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In Amos, we looked at a map of the nations surrounding Judah and Israel–the nations that Amos pronounced woes upon.

“For three transgressions of Damascus and for four, I will not revoke punishment because…”

We imagined Israel and Judah smirking as one after another of their neighbors came under God’s microscope. “Yeah, that’s right! You sic ’em, God.” We imagined them saying. “Kill all our enemies. Destroy them all.”

Then God began in on Judah. Judah, no doubt, was mortified, but we imagined Israel’s self-righteousness at being the only one God hadn’t pronounced judgment on.

But Israel was mistaken. God’s list of Israel’s sins goes on and on. Furthermore, God describes all He’s done to Israel to make them come back–but the repeated refrain announces “Yet you did not return to Me.”

God thundered out–and I thundered through the classroom–

THEREFORE, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR GOD!

We saw how God pronounced woes on those who seek the day of Lord. We learned that the people of Israel wanted God to come and destroy their enemies. That’s what they thought the “Day of the Lord” was all about.

What they didn’t realize was that the “Day of the Lord” isn’t when God destroys THEIR enemies, but when God destroys HIS enemies.

We discussed who God’s enemies are and came up with a long list–a list that included every person in our classroom.

We ended with a sober note, the reality that as enemies of God we are destined for destruction in the day of the Lord.

Which paved the way for the next week’s class, where we learned about God’s mercy through Jonah and Micah.

We asked four questions each of three different groups of people. First we looked at Jonah and asked 1) What did Jonah do? He disobeyed God 2) What does Jonah deserve? He deserves to drown in the ocean 3) What does Jonah get? Swallowed by a big fish and spit up on dry land, 4) Why doesn’t Jonah get what he deserves? Because God is merciful.

We asked the same questions regarding Nineveh–a wicked city that deserved to be destroyed but which was spared because God was merciful.

We moved to Micah and asked the same questions regarding Israel. Israel had broken God’s covenant and deserved death. But, because God was merciful, He sent them into exile and gave them the promise of a Messiah.

We closed with Romans 6:23, comparing what we deserve for our sins (death) with what God has offered us freely instead (eternal life in Christ Jesus).

To be continued…

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Shalom

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Thankful Thursday bannerI didn’t grow up in a liturgical church, but my first pastor came from a liturgical tradition and he ended every service of my first ten or twelve years with the priestly blessing:

“The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make His face shine upon you
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you
and give you peace.”

To this day, whenever I hear those words spoken, I lift my heads towards heaven to catch the rays of God’s face shining upon me.

I’ve come to see something amazing about this blessing, the blessing God entreated His priests to bless His people with. When our heads are lifted up in joy, God makes His face shine down upon us. When our heads are bowed down in sorrow, His countenance is lifted up upon us. And amidst the ups and downs, He gives us His peace.

This week, I’m thankful…

…for peace when friends are hospitalized, close to death

…for peace when friends are celebrating, beginning a new life together

…for peace when I leave work at 4:30

…for peace when it seems I’ll never leave work

…for peace when there isn’t any food left on the line for me to eat

…for peace when I unexpectedly find a mulberry tree full of berries (in my own neighborhood!)

…for peace when I’m ecstatically joyful

…for peace when I’m frustrated and angry (is that a contradiction? except it’s true.)

I’m still working my way through Sarah Francis Martin’s Stress Point: Thriving Through Your Twenties in a Decade of Drama, and in one of the exercises, Sarah encourages her readers to read Jeremiah 29:11.

Since I’ve had Jeremiah 29:11 memorized for a couple decades (man, I’m old!), I was inclined to just recite it in my head and be done with it. But I didn’t, and I’m glad.

I read in the ESV: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Seeing the [a] behind “welfare”, I dropped my eyes to the bottom of the page for the explanation. “Or peace”, the footnote read.

In my childhood memorization, I’d learned the NIV: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

Now, I’m not knocking the NIV, but I have to say that the two read completely differently to me.

When I think of prosperity, I have to force my mind to realize that this isn’t a material promise. I have to remind myself that this doesn’t mean God’s promising the American dream of a husband, kids, a home with a two car garage, and a chicken frying in a pan.

When I read the ESV, my mind travels of its own volition to the word that I quickly confirm is indeed there: shalom.

Completeness, soundness, tranquility, peace.

Shalom.

That life that can only be found when the face of God is shining down on you. That life that can only be found when the countenance of God is lifted up upon you.

Shalom. The thoughts God thinks as He gazes upon His children.

I am blessed to be one of His.

Blessed to experience shalom.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: “What Would Your Character Do?” by Maisel and Maisel

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I’m sure I’m not the only avid reader who has an idea rolling around in their head for a book they intend to write someday.

As is befitting a catholic reader such as myself, I have a whole raft of ideas for dozens of very different books.

Several are novels. One, I think, has the potential to actually be a decently interesting novel.

Of course, everyone has a novel idea in their head. The knack is getting it into print.

Which is why I try to snatch time here and there (these days, it’s rare) to bang out a few hundred words on this one novel that seems to show the most promise.

The problem is, while I’ve got an interesting-ish plot, I discovered not too far in that I really didn’t have a character. At least, not a character who wasn’t me.

Which is where you’ve found me out. Most of my plots start with me trying on a different life and playing “dress-up” in my imagination.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this until you try turning it into a novel. Face it, a novel with me as the heroine is just not a good idea.

Which is where Eric Maisel and Ann Maisel’s What Would Your Character Do? comes in.

In this imaginative writing helps book, the authors set up thirty different scenarios for you to plop your character (or characters) into. Then, they have a little quiz (a la women’s magazine personality quizzes) for you to answer about your character’s response to the scenario. The quiz includes an “interpretation” that explores what your character’s responses might say about what kind of a person they are. Next, the authors give some open-ended “what if” questions for you to answer to explore your character’s response to that or similar circumstances.

I completed just one scenario (and didn’t even dig too deeply into the open-eneded “what ifs”)–and already I feel like I know my character much better than I did before. My heroine is shaping into a real live person who isn’t me. And best of all, I’m back to writing (slowly, though-very, very slowly.)

Unlike many books on writing, which I find either distract from writing the story you really want to tell or get you focused on literary analysis instead of writing, this book is actually a useful tool for the writer of fiction (actually, I can see how it might be handy for the memoirist as well…)

I’m putting this on my Amazon wish list and will be periodically checking it out of my library until I finally get around to purchasing it. It’s really that good.

Rating:5 Stars
Category:Writing Reference
Synopsis:“What if” scenarios to plop your characters into
Recommendation: A marvelous writing reference that actually furthers your story. Huzzah for that!

Categories B3RD

Food is a Gift from God

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What’s the first mention of food in Scripture?

If you guessed the forbidden fruit, you’ve got it wrong.

The first mention of food comes just after the creation of mankind–and before the account of the preparation of Eden for man.

“And God said, ‘Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.’ And it was so.”
~Genesis 1:29-30 (ESV)

Now, some might look at this passage and start making rules. Since God says that He’s given mankind every green plant for food, that means that God’s intent for mankind is that they be vegetarian. What’s more, this Scripture prominently mentions the seed, which is an implicit condemnation of the genetic engineering that results in non-propagative species of plants…

Rules. We’re used to looking at food in terms of rules. The foods we should eat, the foods we shouldn’t. The way we should eat, the way we shouldn’t. The right way to buy, to cook, to eat food.

But to reduce this passage to rules is to miss the point of the first Scriptural mention of food.

Before God gave mankind rules about food, He gave them food itself.

Food is a gift from God.

This is so important, so central to a Christian understanding of food. Food is not an enemy to be fought against. Food is not a lover to be enchanted with. It is a gift to be thankful for.

In Genesis 9, just after God blesses Noah and his sons and repeats to them the creation mandate, He also repeats His gift of food. This time, it comes with an expansion.

“The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth and upon every bird of the heavens, upon everything that creeps on the ground and all the fish of the sea. Into your hand they are delivered. Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.”
~Genesis 9:2-3 (ESV)

Just as God had given every plant to mankind for food, He now gives them every living creature.

Food is a gift from God.

The Lord taught us to pray in such a way as to remind us that food is a gift from God. How many times have you recited the familiar words of the Lord’s prayer without thinking of their implications.

“Give us this day our daily bread…”
~Matthew 6:11

We are dependent upon food for our physical sustenance–and it is God who gives us our food.

Food is a gift from God.

I can sense the discomfort some might have with this introduction to a theology of food.

How impractical, you may think.

Repeating a theological refrain.

What does that have to do with nutrition?

I would argue that it has everything to do with nutrition.

In the developed world (and perhaps elsewhere too), there are two prevailing attitudes towards food–attitudes that coexist despite their contradiction. We either see food as an enemy or as a lover or both. We love food for its flavor, for the comfort it provides, for how we feel when we’re eating. We hate food for what it does to our bodies, for what it cannot provide, for how we feel when we’re done eating.

The Biblical perspective on food provides the remedy to both of these unhealthy attitudes towards food.

While the glutton worships food, the Christian worships the God who has graciously given him food. While the dieter hates food and fights against it, the Christian receives it with thanksgiving to the one who has given it.

Food is a gift from God.

This is the beginning of a theology of food.

Categories Everyday Life

Playing Photographer

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If I were to grade my photography skills, I would have to say that I probably rank far below average (especially among the Mommy-blogger-digital-SLR-owning set).

Little Miss touches projector screen

My understanding of composition is average.

My understanding of lighting is something much less than average.

Little Miss on a treadmill

My understanding of my camera’s settings is virtually nonexistent.

Nevertheless, I spent my Memorial Day weekend getting myself out of the auto and program modes.

Little Miss Chews on a Finger

I had plenty of fodder–a piano recital Friday night, a graduation Saturday morning, graduation parties Saturday and Sunday afternoons, and a weenie-roast on Monday.

Little Miss Claps Her Hands

Oh, and the Little Miss.

Little Miss Crawling

She makes pretty decent camera fodder.

Little Miss looking at camera

I’ll keep playing photographer if it means spending time with her.