The Power of a good book

Perhaps you’ve been watching the news and noticed the huge storm system traveling through the Midwest–it stretches from Mid-Kansas up to Minnesota.
weather map from weather.com
Now generally when you think of a storm system like that, you think of a system moving perpendicular to its line. You imagine it working like a squeegie, traveling across the nation. But that’s not what this system’s like–instead its like a string of beads being pulled along a table by one end. Which means that every point along the line experiences one storm after another after another.

I was just coming back from my final break at work when the tornado warning was issued for our area. I immediately started gathering co-workers and moving everyone downstairs. The tornado warning was scheduled to expire at 8:00–45 minutes later (when I was supposed to be clocking out).

Thankfully, I had been reading Pride and Prejudice on my break and still had it in my hand. After we learned how long we would be stuck in the basement, I offered to read out loud. Five women took me up on the offer. So I started, “It is a truth universally acknowledged…”

The warning was extended to 8:15. I read “Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate.” I had just finished “The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would, and the argument ending only with the visit.” when the announcement came that the warning had been extended to 8:45. I went for a drink, then returned to begin the sixth chapter. We were a page from finishing the sixth chapter when the warning was finally allowed to expire.

My coworkers said I need to come read to their children–they want their children to learn to read and learn to love reading, but they cannot help them. Three of the women listening were from Sudan, one was from Vietnam. None of them feel that they read well enough in English to adequately train their children. But they loved the book. And they want their children to learn to love such books too. So I have a standing invitation to come and read to their children.

I might just have to do so before too long.


Tradition and the Generation Gap

Advice columns and other popular parenting resources may not agree about much, but on one point they are firm: Your parents are hopelessly outdated and you will disagree with them about how you should raise your child.

This idea is so firmly entrenched in the minds of popular culture, that it seems unimaginable that it was ever not this way. But, believe it or not, the “generation gap”–which is now so great and seems to be still widening at an incredible pace–once was almost imperceptible.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away, people had lots of kids. The older children observed how their parents parented–and had “hands on” training while taking care of their younger siblings. The older children married and had children of their own in their late teens or twenties. They parented their children as they had been trained–in a manner very similar to how their parents had parented.

The younger children in the big family didn’t have little siblings to practice on–but their older siblings lived nearby with their own children. So the younger children of the first generation grew up observing how their older brothers and sisters parented–and helping their older siblings with their young nieces and nephews. The younger children of the first generation learned the same parenting techniques their own parents had used for them, only this time at the hand of their older siblings. Thus parenting practices were transmitted from generation to generation.

Compare that to today, when most of the experience young adults have had with children is from doing a bit of babysitting while they were teens. When they start their own families, the only experience they have is from babysitting someone else’s children–which anyone could tell you is a far cry from parenting one’s own. With no other frame of reference, these young parents rely on the advice of their peers, or of the “experts” for developing their parenting techniques. Thus every generation reinvents the wheel–learning from scratch how to raise their children, making up the rules as they go along, certain of nothing except the “conventional wisdom” that their parents’ parenting was necessarily wrong.


Another area in which I have noted the generation gap is weddings. Have you ever noticed that every generation has its own “traditional wedding”? –And that somehow each generation’s “traditional wedding” looks completely different than that of the preceding generation?

Most people today only start attending wedding or being involved in weddings when their peers marry. Their peer’s weddings and those that they have seen in movies or in bridal magazines are what inform their knowledge of wedding “traditions.” As such, nothing remains “traditional” unless it is profitable to the wedding industry.

As the older child of one of the older children of a large family, I grew up going to weddings–the weddings of my aunts and uncles. I learned what a “traditional” wedding looks like for my family. And let me tell you one thing–it doesn’t look a thing like what passes as a “traditional” wedding today. Sure there’s a white dress and a church ceremony–but that’s where the commonality ends.

In my family, a traditional wedding means a church ceremony–generally using a liturgy. It means everyone in the family has a part to play–although “bridesmaid” and “groomsman” may not be the part. While the closest sibling or best friend may stand up for the bride or groom, the real “wedding party” consists of the cake cutters, the gift carriers, the flower pinner, the guest book attendant, the punch pourers, and on. Each member of the family has a corsage or boutonniere identifying them as part of the party. The whole family takes pictures together before the ceremony–even though that means the groom sees the bride before the ceremony.

A traditional wedding in my family means a reception directly following the ceremony, in the church fellowship hall. The meal is set up buffet-style and consists of trays of bread, deli meats and cheeses, and other fixings that people can make their own sandwiches from, salads made by the aunts, and cake and punch, homemade cream cheese mints and nuts.

A traditional wedding in my family means that the men (my uncles and any of the groomsmen) gather together the children to go out and decorate the car.


The generation gap has grown as people have fewer and fewer children and wait longer and longer before getting married. Without siblings with which to interact, they learn to rely on their age-segregated peer group. Then, when they start making these monumental life choices, they rely upon their peers and the “experts” to inform their decisions. It’s too late for the parents to transmit their wisdom. Since the children have never seen, learned, nor practiced this wisdom, it all seems hopelessly outdated. The new tradition has become no tradition–starting over with each new generation instead.

I, for one, intend to break with the new-fangled tradition: I’m going to do it like my parents did. ‘Cause I’ve seen how they did it–and it works pretty well!


…as to the Lord…

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men.” Colossians 3:23

I’ve always interpreted that Scripture to mean that I should always work as hard as possible–put everything I have into my work. But recently, I’ve been forced to re-evaluate that position.

We’ve been incredibly busy at work, putting in overtime and working at least six days a week. I’m blessed that my bosses have honored my decision not to work on Sundays–some of my fellow employees are working 8 or 9 days in a row before they get a break.

With the busyness, I’ve shifted into warp speed. I go into the dishroom every night about fifteen minutes before we close the serving lines and stay there until the last dish is cleaned, the machine is shut down, and the floors are mopped. It takes at least an hour and a half. During that time, I’m flying–running from one end of the room to grab some pans, rearranging dishes on the belt, putting pans on the line, scrubbing some pans for a while, zipping back to the belt, helping out with trays coming in, then back to more pans. Around and around I go, moving a hundred miles a minute. By the time the dishroom is done, so am I. Done for, that is. I can’t do anything else that evening. I’ve exhausted myself. I drop the moment I get home and can’t do anything productive until I drag myself to work the next morning at 11.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men.” If that means working as hard as possible, putting all that I have into my work, I’ve been doing it. But somehow, I’m starting to think that my original interpretation needs some tweaking.

See, when I’m moving a hundred miles a minute, I’m not doing it for the Lord–I’m doing it for me. I want to get done. I want others to see how hardworking I am. I want to take responsibility for everything. I’m doing it for the accolades. Ultimately, I’m doing it for my pride.

Heartily, as to the Lord. What does the Lord expect and require from me in regard to work? With what attitude would He have me work?

I did an informal word study on “work” today–and discovered that the primary reference to work in Scriptures is, amazingly, in reference to the Sabbath. God worked 6 days. Then He rested. Man is to do all his work in 6 days. Then he is to rest. What is the penalty for breaking the Sabbath? Death.

I’m beginning to formulate an idea in my mind. Maybe God doesn’t want me to give my all to my work. Certainly He wouldn’t have me be slothful. But maybe God’s plan is actually that I work diligently, with excellence, but in such a way that I am not consumed by work. I know we usually use the phrase “consumed by work” to refer to someone who lives, eats, and breathes work–and has no life outside of work. We use it to refer to a workaholic. But in reality, to be consumed means “to be used up, to be completely destroyed.” I’ve been working to the degree that work is using me up, destroying me. And that’s not honoring to God.

So maybe, just maybe, God wants me to not work so hard. Maybe He wants me to take a Sabbath–even at work. Maybe He considers me more important than my work, and wants me to do my work in such a way that I can remain healthy in the midst of it.

So this week, I have an assignment: to learn how to work heartily (with warmth and sincerity, thoroughly, completely, with zest or enthusiasm, with great appetite or enjoyment) as if working for the Lord instead of for my pride.


On being UNDAMNED

“Damn you, Rebekah!” someone told me today.

“You can’t,” thought I. “I can’t, and neither can anyone else.”

I didn’t tell this person what I was thinking. But I was thinking, “I’ve already been undamned, by someone with much more authority than you or I.”

Damn

  1. To pronounce an adverse judgment upon
  2. To cause the failure of, ruin
  3. To condemn as harmful, illegal, or immoral
  4. To condemn to everlasting punishment
  5. To swear at

It just so happens that I have already been undamned. The adverse judgment that once was upon me has been removed. My failure has been removed. My condemnation as harmful, illegal, and immoral has been removed. My condemnation to everlasting punishment has been removed. So the last definition of damn, “to swear at” has very little hold over me. “What can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus?” Certainly not man’s damning.


Forty Pounds of Fresh Spinach

Have you ever contemplated how many spinach leaves there are in 40 pounds of fresh spinach? I hadn’t. At least, not until I was given the task of stemming 40 pounds of fresh spinach.

If you didn’t already know, spinach isn’t very dense–a small weight fills a very large container. We had four cases, each with four 2.5 lb bags inside, to stem. We chose the largest tabletop mixing bowl and got to work. We filled that with half a case. We started on another. Then we realized that at this rate, we would require 8 large mixing bowls to complete the task. We pulled out the big guns. We drew out the freestanding “Big Bertha” mixing bowl and set it beside the table we were working at. I’m not sure how many times we filled that, because the cook’s kept coming in and taking a small (big) mixing bowl full of spinach from it to cook off immediately.

I didn’t count how many leaves there were in 40 lbs, but I do know that it took two people at least 4 hours and 45 minutes to complete the task. That’s 9 1/2 man-hours. That’s a LONG time. But in some ways, it was a wonderful time. After the first hour, I asked permission and permission was granted me to drag a stool up to the prep table. So I sat and stemmed spinach. It reminded me of my growing up years, sitting around the kitchen table with all the kids, stemming beans Mom had just picked. It wasn’t that bad, although it was a long time and a little monotonous.

What made it all okay though, was the company. One of our custodians offered to help me when the other cook had to go off to do his thing. I didn’t know Lien that well before we started stemming spinach together, but now I feel as if I know her well.

I learned that Lien and her family escaped from Vietnam in the 1970’s when the Communists were attempting to forcibly conscript her into their army. They escaped on a boat–and were lucky to be picked up by an American boat. Lien said that others were picked up by other boats–and that men did awful things to the women they picked up.

Lien was 19 when she arrived in the US, but instead of going to school, she went out and got a job. She was the oldest daughter of 9 children, and they needed something on which to live. Her mother stayed at home with the children. Her father had a job that paid $2.75 an hour. Lien worked from 9 in the morning until 11 at night seven days a week to support her family.

Lien learned English by talking to her coworkers, and continues to improve her English by listening carefully to how we pronounce words and structure our sentences. She is glad to have a good job at the University, where she usually works only 40 hours a week–and where she receives vacation time. She loves that she now has the opportunity to spend time with her 7 year old daughter.

I’m glad there are so many leaves in 40 lbs of spinach–otherwise I might not have had an opportunity to really know this remarkable woman.


I’ve been waiting

I told you only a few days ago that I was waiting for someone to flock Anna and myself.

Well, today I rose early so I could get some stuff done around the house before Joanna and I took our walk. The main floor of our house was stuffy so I opened the back patio door to let some air in. A small flamingo stood waiting.

Opening the front door led me to the bulk of the flock. A letter tied around one flamingo’s neck announced:

You've been flocked by: ?

Be forewarned–one of you is next ;)

flock of yard ornament flamingos


An Unexpected Blessing

I got done with work only 40 minutes late today. My attitude, well, it could have been better. I was tired, frustrated, reliving the stresses of the day. Missing paperwork. Feeling rushed. Inconsiderate guests. Not enough to drink. Hot and muggy. Chaotic clean-up. It wasn’t one of my best days.

I arrived at the library only 3 minutes before closing–certainly not enough time to go in to return my books. I dropped them in the book drop. Seeing my friend Joanna’s car parked nearby, I decided on a whim to park next to her and wait until she came out. It was only a few minutes before she emerged.

We chatted. I vented. She asked me if I’d like to go for a walk tomorrow morning. Unexpected blessings. A chance to catch up. It’s been a long time. Something to look forward to. A reason to not spend all night on the computer. Re-awakening friendship. God is good.


Flocked

flamingoI dropped by my folk’s home this evening to borrow a DVD–and discovered that sometime in the last few days, a mini-flock of these
had landed in their lawn.

One in particular caught my eye
flamingo with note around its neck. This flamingo sat right by the front door bearing a peculiar note addressed to “THE MENTERZ”. I talked to Mom later and learned that the letter inside said that we’d been flocked by “You know who. NOT!”

The flamingos are part of a Z-360 fundraiser. Individuals can pay $15 to get a flock of flamingos to migrate to someone’s yard. Z-360 offers free removal of the flock after 48 hours–or the individual who was flocked can opt to send them on to someone else for only $10. What a deal! I keep hoping that someone will flock me so I can get the discount rate. ;-)


Getting Lost in IL

This weekend surely was not my time to shine as a Navigational Star. Debbie and I have gotten lost at least once every time we have ventured out alone.

On Friday, we drove up to Cantigny Park in Wheaton, IL. Uncle Steve had printed out MapQuest directions for us to get there–but sometimes MapQuest just doesn’t do the job. Like when you miss a “right turn onto exit ramp for such and such a street” and loop around back to that street and decide to take a left turn onto it so that you’ll still be heading in the same direction. Except that “right turn onto exit ramp for such and such a street” loops you around so that you’re really heading LEFT from the original direction–and taking a left from the opposite direction will direct you in the opposite way! (My main beef with MapQuest is its lack of directions–it always states R, L, etc., but never E, W, N, S.)

Then there was today. We were going into Chicago for the day to tour a couple of museums–armed with a Metra train schedule, a hand-drawn map from Aunt Rachel directing us to the train station, and a Chicago guidebook I’d checked out of the library back in Lincoln. We arrived at the train station in plenty of time for our 9:48 departure–only to be told that since today was a holiday, the Metra was running on the Sunday schedule and the next train wouldn’t be in until 10:48. We walked over to watch the town’s Memorial Day event while we were waiting and made it back to the train station for the 10:48 train.

We arrived in Ogilvie Transportation Center somewhere around 12:30–and I pulled out my guidebook so that we could make our way down to Field Museum–our first stop for the day. Problem was, I was looking at the map that said “Upper Loop” and it didn’t have “Canal Street” anywhere. So I was trying to ascertain our location based only on “Monroe Street” (or whatever that street was) and a vague thought that a river was located nearby. We started walking. The neighborhood became less and less dense–we saw fewer and fewer skyscrapers. We started to wonder if maybe we were going in the wrong direction. Ducking into a Walgreens for a quick restroom break and a chance to regroup, we discovered that we had been heading due WEST–away from the lake. The more comprehensive map in the back of the guidebook got us straightened out and we finally made our way to Field. We probably only added a mile or two to our already long jaunt.

The ride home was a breeze. Take the train back to Woodstock, drive along this road and that until we get home. We took all the right turns, recognized all the roads. It was great. We were on a roll. Until we got to one intersection that I wasn’t sure I recognized. It was a two way stop with a flashing light, and the intersection was set at a bit of an angle. Debbie thought she remembered it so we continued on. We were looking for the turn off to Rachel and Steve’s neighborhood. It couldn’t be that hard, we knew what it looked like. We knew it was on the right side of the road. We couldn’t miss it. So we drove on…and on…and on. We drove past farm after farm after farm–and were almost certain that we were NOT getting any closer to town. We turned around and called Steve and Rachel. “Um. This is Debbie. We’re on River Road and we’re lost.” Turns out their neighborhood was before the intersection Debbie had recognized and I hadn’t–we’d been too busy talking to notice the turnoff when we’d passed it. And the intersection? Well, Debbie recognized it from when we’d turned onto it to get gas on FRIDAY when we’d gone to Cantigny. Go figure!

I’m really not as bad with directions as this weekend might make me out to be. Honest!


Thanks a lot, Jack

I woke up yesterday with a dozen things to do–finish my morning routine, empty out my car, take the car down to Walmart to get his oil changed and everything checked, grab some last minute groceries, pack everything into the car (including last minute items), clean out the fridge, turn off my computer, vacuum the dirt from the planted pot I knocked over the night before, take out the trash, lock up the house, and fill the car up with gas–all before 9 am when we would be leaving.

I dropped Anna and Debbie off at Mom and Dad’s house to hang out with the others while I filled up with gas at the corner gas station. I filled up and got into the car. I turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. No radio, no lights, nothing. Certainly not the engine turning over. I jiggled the gear shift and repeated. Nothing. I turned the steering wheel and repeated. Still nothing. I called my parents in desperation. Joseph and Daniel came out to help–and discovered that they couldn’t do anything either. Thanks a lot, Jack.

We decided to go in Dan’s car instead. We transferred all our stuff into his car and pushed my car into a parking spot. Mom called Dad to let him know what we’d decided to do–He said, “Good luck. If Danny’s car dies on the way, leave it there.” If you haven’t guessed, my Dad doesn’t have that much confidence in Dan’s car. Nonetheless, we made it there safely–and even in time for Rachel’s homemade pizza before Aaron’s eighth grade graduation.

I mentioned our car situation at the dinner table, and Uncle Steve’s Dad pipes up: “Well, that could be just a loose battery cable.” I said I hoped so. When it was about time to go to bed and I took out my cell phone to recharge it overnight, I saw that I had missed a call from my mom. Her message said that Dad had gone to look at Jack and that it was just a loose battery cable–so it’s all fixed now. Thanks a lot, Jack!

Not that it’s really been that bad. Debbie and I didn’t end up driving ourselves on the way up–Dan drove us instead. That meant we didn’t get good private girl time–but it also meant we didn’t have to drive, or follow Joseph’s less than stellar leadership (that is, as a leader of a caravan). And Dan’s car does get better gas mileage than Jack does–especially a plus once we reached Illinois, where gas prices range from $4.009 to $4.299 per gallon. Ouch! So I suppose, other than teaching me a bit about humility and flexibility and forgiveness, the switch wasn’t that bad. Thanks a lot, Jack.