Categories Everyday Life

Trash Talk

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Wanna hear something gross?

I just took my trash to the dump today…

for the first time all year.

Disgusting, isn’t it?

But here’s the thing.

Even though we’d been collecting trash for three months, we only had three trash cans not quite full. (I probably coulda gotten it into two if I’d tried.)

So the ten dollar minimum fee at the dump comes out to about $3.33 per trash can.

Still a little steep.

Problem is, now that it’s no longer freezing outside, I really can’t wait that long to take trash to the dump. It’ll start to smell long before then.

But ten dollars for the measly bag of trash we collect in a week?

I haven’t priced the trash services around town, but I sorta feel like almost anything would feel like overkill for the wee bit of trash we collect.

So what do you think? How would you deal if you had too little trash to make taking-it-to-the-dump/hiring-a-service-to-take-it-to-the-dump-for-you worthwhile?

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: “The Adoration of Jenna Fox” by Mary E. Pearson

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What does it mean to be human?

What makes me myself?

Is it the endless combinations of A T G and C that make up my DNA?

Is it the way my environment has shaped my genetic material such that I am expressed as a specific phenotype?

Or perhaps it is my memories that make me myself. Perhaps it is the collection of information and experience stored somewhere within my brain that makes me myself.

Then again, maybe it is some ethereal thing, something beyond my physical makeup, such that even if my physical being were to be completely annihilated, I would still be–and be complete.

Jenna Fox wakes up after a year-long coma to find that she’s not quite sure who she is.

She’s walking around in an unfamiliar body, remembering unfamiliar ideas.

She’s living in an unfamiliar world, watching videos of an unfamiliar her living an unfamiliar life.

She’s just starting to get comfortable in her own skin, just starting to remember herself, her life, her family…

when the truth smacks her in the face and she finds herself at square one again.

Who is she? What makes her herself? Is she herself? Or is she merely a product of her parent’ unceasing adoration?

The Adoration of Jenna Fox was my first ever dystopian novel–and oh what a first!

Set only a hundred or so years from now, The Adoration of Jenna Fox sees the world continuing on its current trend of helicopter parenting and biomedical advances–with disastrous results.

Adoration is a meaty novel, full of thought-provoking ideas about personhood (as mentioned above) as well as about ethics in medicine, genetic engineering, and beyond.

Nevertheless, this is by no means a novel intended as a text book. The Adoration of Jenna Fox is an engaging story in and of itself–and one that begs to be read, even if one would rather not think about the issues it raises.

Yet force you to think about the issues it does. This is no propaganda piece, intended to convince the reader to one side of a spectrum or another. Instead, it is does exactly what a good book ought–it forces the reader to think through sides of an issue he might not have thought about before, challenging his ideas regardless of which “side” he might have originally found himself on.

(For the record, I’m a conservative, evangelical Christian who believes that humans are created in the image of God and have intrinsic worth as such. I’m also the sister of a student of biomechanical engineering who is doing his graduate research with adult stem cells and who is always sharing fun stuff about manufactured skin and transplanted blood clots. And I found plenty to make me think in this book–things I agreed with and things I didn’t.)

This is a novel I highly recommend.

Rating: 5 stars
Category:Young Adult Dystopian Fiction
Synopsis:Jenna Fox seeks to discover who she is after a year-long coma leaves her in the dark–and discovers that who she is is scary.
Recommendation: Absolutely read this one! (Parents might want to read through it first before passing it on to their children–I’m not sure exactly what age group this’d be appropriate for, but I’m thinking probably older rather than younger. Like seventeen, eighteen year old kind of older. At least, that’s what I’m guessing. Not that the content is necessarily inappropriate–there’s a bit of girl/boy stuff but much less and less explicit than the usual YA fare; and a bit of violence I think–but I think the concepts and ethical questions would be much for a younger teen to think through.)

I originally added this book to my TBR list based on reviews from Diary of an Eccentric and Jennifer of 5M4B

Categories The Week in Words

WiW: God’s Gifts

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The Week in Words

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”
~Matthew 7:11

The temptation is to consider God a miser, a Scrooge who is worse than an evil father–an evil father who, for all his faults, still gives his children good gifts.

But God isn’t a miser. He isn’t a Scrooge.

He delights to give good things to those who ask Him.

“The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
And You give them their food in due season.
You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing. ”
~Psalm 145:15-16

God does not merely cause to thirst; He satisfies thirst.

He does not merely cause hunger; He satisfies hunger.

He does not merely awaken desire; He satisfies desire.

What’s more, this passage says that He satisfies the desire of every living thing.

Which means me.

He satisfies my desire.

Yet my desire remains unsatisfied.

Why?

In this is my consolation:

“Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.”
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning (quoted in Robin Jones Gunn’s Echoes)

God gives good gifts.

God satisfies the desire of every living thing.

So why has my desire been unsatisfied heretofore?

Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

Because God is better at identifying good gifts than I am.

Because God knows best how and when and where and with whom to satisfy my desires.

Thus I will trust Him–because I know that He will satisfy my desire–and that however He chooses to do it (whether by granting me a husband or not), that gift will put my best dreams to shame.

Don’t forget to take a look at Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.

Categories Everyday Life

Shelves

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Shelving. Not exactly the most scintillating topic.

But a worthwhile one.

Often the shelves are simply box store prefabs, not particularly spectacular, except for what’s on them.

What’s on a shelf can contain a wealth of knowledge. (This particular shelf is a bit empty because I just moved a slew of reference books into my office at work.)

Shelf

What’s on a shelf can make a home beautiful, or fill a home with wonderful food. (I forgot to take a picture of my cookbook cupboard–sorry!)

Shelf

What’s on a shelf can entertain, relax, or inspire thought. (Perhaps you recognize that there are multiple copies of a few books–perils of combining collections with someone who likes many of the same books.)

Shelf

What’s on a shelf can help one draw near to God.

Shelf

What’s on a shelf can be beautiful, can speak the words of Scripture.

Shelf

Of course, up until now, I’ve only spoken of Walmart shelves, Shopko shelves. Particle board pre-fabs put together with dummy proof screws. Shelves that sag under the weight of their contents.

But sometimes the shelf is
made by a craftsman.
Solid and sturdy,
Built to last

Sometimes it’s a gift.

Shelf

Even if I don’t know exactly where to put it
or what to do with it,
the shelf is a gift.

(This particular shelf was given to me at my “shelf party”. The giver’s husband made it years ago, before he died, leaving my friend a widow.)

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Momentary Mercies

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Sometimes life seems very confused.

Weeping lasts for a very long night…

but then there’s work the next morning.

This hasn’t been the easiest of weeks for me–I had an enormously long day on Tuesday (I didn’t get back from Grand Island until midnight) and have pretty much been running on emotional empty since then.

Thankful Thursday banner

That’s why this week, I’m thankful for the momentary mercies…

…for laughing at the ducks (actual ducks, not these sort) winging above our house

…for a friend who encouraged me to take the night off

…for grimacing smiles from a friend who feels my pain during a particularly unbearable session

…for the brief reprieve of sleep after hours of exhausted sobbing

…for a little stand up comedy routine during our morning meeting (my coworkers rarely fail to crack me up)

…for meetings that were short, saving my voice and my heart for other work

…for the little lady in the Alzheimer’s unit who told me I was a good friend after I stopped to chat with her a while before going back to my office

…for the story of classical music playing in my car

…for recipes for corn bread and enough time to run out and get them

…for goats in the truck in front of me on my way home from work

…for the man on his bicycle outside my house when I got home

…for my bike waiting in the garage, reminding me that last night’s bad dreams were simply bad dreams, not reality

And most of all, I’m thankful for the continuous mercy shown to me through YOUR prayers and encouraging comments.

Even as I dredge the “depths of despair” (as Anne of Green Gables would say), you continually remind me not to turn my back on God, not to listen to the lies the enemy would tell me about who I am and where I’m at.

Thank you, thank you so much.

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.

Categories Following Christ

Nobody puts Bekah on the Shelf

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Remember that line from Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze (as Johnny) says: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”?

That’s what I feel like

…or maybe felt like.

Nobody puts Bekah on the shelf.

Yet, one way or another, that’s where I am.

Who put me here?

Was it the scads of young men (who must be out there somewhere) who have pursued careers or glory or other women while leaving me to gather dust on the shelf?

I want to blame them. Why do you choose all these other things and leave me behind when I want so much to be joined with someone–to pursue God’s glory together.

Or perhaps it was me, pursuing life and career and ministry to the fullest while living out this single life–leading the world to erroneously conclude that I did not want marriage?

I censure myself even as I wonder how I could have done things differently. If I had focused less on school. If I had shown a little less outward contentment with my single life. If I had pursued marriage with the same abandon that I pursued knowledge or even the girls that I ministered to.

But all these conjectures lead me to the One I must not censure, but often want to.

God.

God put me on this shelf.

If I believe that God is truly sovereign (which I do), I can come to no other conclusion.

Yes, the sinful (and righteous) actions of man (and myself) have contributed to the place where I am today.

But ultimately, I am where I am today because God willed it.

Therein lies my struggle.

I see the goodness of marriage “which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church” (as the Book of Common Prayer declares.)

And I see the “not good-ness” of aloneness.

“It is not good that man should be alone.” Genesis 2:18

Yet the God who saw fit to make a helper suitable for Adam in the Garden, who instituted the honourable estate of marriage then, has not seen fit to make a helper suitable for me, has not seen fit to introduce me into said honourable estate.

How am I to reconcile the goodness of God with His withholding goodness from me? How am I to reconcile the goodness of God with His placing good desires in me, but withholding the good fulfillment of those desires?

This is my daily struggle as I sit here on the shelf.

I believe wholeheartedly that God is good. I believe wholeheartedly that He is sovereign.

But every day, as my desires and my reality clash, I am forced to again make peace with the God who is good but looks not. I am forced to make peace with the God who is sovereign but feels not.

I am forced to make peace with the God who has put me on the shelf.

Categories Reflections

Shelf-Life

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If Regency Romances are to be trusted, a woman who has reached her later years and is beyond reasonable hope of marriage is said to be “on the shelf.”

Accordingly, when I turned twenty-six a few weeks back, I resolved that I would have a shelf party–celebrating my status as one who is “on the shelf.”

It was a joke–but it wasn’t.

Unlike in Regency days, twenty-six is no longer a death knell to hopes of marriage.

Women have a longer shelf-life these days.

Better nutrition, better medical technology, more options for women–all of these mean a woman of twenty-six still has hope for husband and home. And even without husband, single women are not shelved. We can have careers, we can be independent, we can live lives of our own without .

I’ve taken full advantage of this freedom.

I have a career I enjoy, a home I love, a group of friends I delight to spend time with. I have a group of young girls who take great pleasure in coming to my home to craft and sew.

But all the fullness of my single life does not save me from feeling shelved–and feeling that my shelf-life is rapidly coming to a close.

I’ve dreamed of marriage, longed for a family, prayed for a husband for at least fifteen years.

After fifteen years, the hope begins to fade. The dream begins to feel like a pipe dream. The prayers take on a new dimension–desperation and resignation combined.

As much as I love my career, I would give it up in a heart-beat for the profession of my dreams: homeschool mother of a huge brood of children.

Yet my time feels short.

My mom had children about as quickly as you can have them–seven children in ten years. Even if I were to be married tomorrow, my ten years would put me past thirty-five–the age where pregnancy risks dramatically rise.

The much-longed for profession becomes less likely, more risky, with every month that passes. My body wearing out, my remaining years fewer.

The woman who only wants one or two has time at twenty-six. The woman who wants at least half a dozen–as I do–needs more time.

My expiration date looms, my shelf-life wearing down.

On the shelf.

Hope

expiring.

Categories The Week in Words

WiW: Contemplation

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The Week in Words

“…don’t spend a lot of time in contemplation unless you’re contemplating Jesus.”
~Taylor Buzzard, via Buzzard Blog

Words this contemplative needs to hear.

Contemplating my current juggle of work, family, church, friends, blogging.

It overwhelms.

“…don’t spend a lot of time in contemplation unless you’re contemplating Jesus.”

Contemplating the world and its politics and wars and rumours of war.

“…don’t spend a lot of time in contemplation unless you’re contemplating Jesus.”

Contemplating the future and all of its uncertainties.

“…don’t spend a lot of time in contemplation unless you’re contemplating Jesus.”

Contemplating the things of this world will only make me a woman of this world. Contemplating dead things will only make me a dead woman. Contemplating the flesh will only serve to strengthen the flesh.

So contemplate Jesus, Rebekah. Contemplate Christ.

Contemplate the One who has overcome this world. Contemplate the One who has overcome the grave. Contemplate the One who crucifies and raises your dead flesh.

Contemplate Christ.

“You are beautiful beyond description
Yet God crushed You for my sin
In agony and deep affliction
Cut off that I might enter in
Who can grasp such tender compassion
Who can fathom this mercy so free
You are beautiful beyond description
Lamb of God who died for me.

And I stand I stand in awe of You
I stand I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You

~Lyrics to I Stand in Awe, verse 2, via Julian Freeman

Don’t forget to take a look at Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.

Categories Everyday Life

Dance Partners

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He was talking with his friends after the Macarena, discussing what they would do next.

I watched with bemusement, then with surprise, as he lifted his hand, pointed at me, and declared “I want to dance with HER.”

And dance with me he did.

Except for the snowball dance, where we were each forced to seek new partners, he danced with me all night, until he reluctantly said goodbye…

…when his parents said it was time to go home.

He was four.

Categories Everyday Life, Following Christ

Down for a day

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It gave up the ghost Thursday morning ’round about eight.

I gave up on it Thursday night ’round about midnight.

Finally this afternoon, with the help of my father, I got my internet back up again.

I’m glad it’s going again

I’m glad to be blogging again, to be able to check my e-mail and read my blogs.

I’m glad to be able to look up interesting information quickly and check on whether that book I just read about is at my library.

I’m not glad for what I discovered while it was down.

I discovered that when my internet is down, I’m off-center.

I’m fumbling for what to do.

I’m anxious about what I might be missing.

But the internet shouldn’t be my center.

I don’t want my life to revolve around the web.

I want my life to revolve around Christ.

I want my mind to always be seated with Him in heavenly places…

…not down for a day with the internet.