Thankful Thursday: Things that Didn’t Happen

Often we are thankful for things that do happen–and complain over things that don’t. I know I do.

But sometimes, it’s worthwhile to stop and think about all the things that haven’t happened–and be thankful for those.

This week, I’m thankful…

…that when my eyes suddenly itched and filled with tears and I could no longer see, I did not wreck my car. (I was able to turn to a side street where I parked for five minutes until I could see again to return home.)

My eyes

My eyes once they’d calmed down–and I had gotten safely home.

…that I did not have a resident inexplicably lose 35 lbs in 6 weeks.

…that I did not slip on the ice on my way into work

…that I have not received the wrath I was due.

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I’m also thankful for some things that DID/WILL happen…

…that I had a song of worship in my heart as I started work

…that I somehow had a restful day of labor

…that I received a letter from my brother in the mailbox

…that I have a concert to look forward to this evening

…that I have obtained an inheritance in Christ Jesus (Eph 1:11)


I love Columbus, NE

The weather forecast was predicting half a foot or so of snow in Grand Island yesterday afternoon–and when I called one of my Grand Island facilities at 7 yesterday morning, the dietary manager said she had little for me to look at.

Not relishing the thought of getting stuck in Grand Island overnight, I elected to stay in Columbus and run some errands–and then work from home on some menu stuff (that I have a hard time doing in the office where there are interruptions galore.)

My first order of business was errands.

Errands. I don’t really relish them, but these ones were somewhat important.

I turn old next week, so it was time for me to get a new driver’s license–and probably time for my license to reflect my new dwelling place as well.

Furthermore, just over two years ago, my car (Jack) was rear-ended and I had to buy a new car (Luci). Which means that registration is due this month. And it’s probably about time that my license plates reflect my new dwelling place.

What’s more, Nebraska generally holds primary elections in May–and though I’m not quite sure whether we’ll have any of note this year, I make it a point to vote in every election. Except that my voter’s registration says that I live in Lincoln, which is definitely no longer the case. It’s time my voter’s registration reflected my new dwelling place.

Thankfully, all three errands could be completed in one place–the Platte County Courthouse.

I have to say that I was a bit leery of becoming an official “10 County” resident (mostly because 10 County drivers lack the get-up-and-go of Lincoln drivers)–but my experience at the Platte County Courthouse largely assuaged my fears.

It was there that I discovered that I love Columbus, NE.

Why do I love Columbus, NE?

First, because when I went to get my car registration taken care of, the lady at the desk assumed that I had specialty plates since my current license plates started with “RFS” instead of the ubiquitous number designating the county (Platte County is “10 County”, as mentioned above.)

I had to explain that no, those plates weren’t specialty plates. They were LANCASTER COUNTY plates. (The three largest counties in Nebraska–Douglas, Lancaster, and Sarpy–have enough people that they need the extra leeway allowed by the 26 letters over the 10 numbers, so they use a three letter/three number combo instead of the “County number-dash-four digit code” that the rest of the counties use.)

Then it came time for ME to get an education on getting a license plate in Platte County.

The gal at the desk asked me what I’d like as my leading letter.

“Leading letter?” I was thoroughly confused.

“How about ‘R’ for your first name, since we don’t have ‘M’?”

“Okay,” I responded, mystified.

It was then that she handed me a looseleaf notebook turned to a page with two columns of handwritten numbers.

R000
R001
R002
R003

“Pick your plates. If a number’s crossed out or has a name beside it, it’s not available.”

And so, while she entered my information into her computer system, I picked out my license plate number and wrote my name beside it.

10-R717

The lady checked what I’d written and marched off to get me my plates.

10-R717

Yes, I love Columbus, NE.

The rest of my errands weren’t quite as interesting (or unexpected)…except for my moment at the DMV where the attendant snapped a picture of me grinning my head off.

They don’t let you smile for Driver’s License photos in Lincoln. In Lincoln, they insist that you look sober.

I have to say…I love Columbus, NE.


Actors on a Stage

Hypocrite.

The word has come to mean someone who says one thing and does another–or, even more commonly, one who holds others to a standard that he himself does not live up to.

But that isn’t what hypocrite always meant.

According to the Zondervan Pictorial Bible Dictionary (edited by Merrill C. Tenney), the word hypocrite in the New Testament comes from the Greek hypokrinomai: to act a part in a play.

Being a hypocrite doesn’t mean saying one thing and doing another. It means acting one way and being another.

An awareness of the true meaning of hypocrite draws Jesus’ indictment of the Pharisees in Matthew 23 into sharp relief.

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.”
~Matthew 23:13

The scribes and Pharisees made themselves out to be arbiters of the kingdom of heaven, claiming by their rules to determine who goes in and out. Yet for all their playacting, they had no entry into the kingdom themselves.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.”
~Matthew 23:15

The scribes and Pharisees went around making converts, proselytizing Gentiles that they might become “sons of Abraham.” Yet they themselves were not sons of Abraham but sons of hell (cf. John 8:39, Romans 4:11-12).

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone.”
~Matthew 23:23

The scribes and Pharisees made great show of their attention to the law, but really they had no regard for the law. Their tithes were only playacting, a pretense.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence.”
~Matthew 23:25

The scribes and Pharisees had elaborate rituals for ceremonial cleansing–and worked diligently to never be declared “unclean.” Yet their cleaning was like a young child polishing the outside of a cup full of mud–nothing more than dress-up.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
~Matthew 23:27-28

The scribes and Pharisees took great care to be seen as righteous. They got into character every morning. But this was a role they played, not character they possessed. Really, they were playactors who despised God’s righteousness.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous and say, “If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.'”
~Matthew 23:29-30

The scribes and Pharisees made a show of mourning at the graves of the righteous, saying that they would never have rejected those righteous ones as their fathers did. Yet this was only an act, for the Righteous One stood before them and they rejected Him–even sending Him to the cross.

Actors on a stage.

Pretending to be righteous, to be devout, to be sons of God.

It’s only a play-act, a charade, hiding who they really were.

Lawless, revelation-rejecting sons of the devil.

Only when the costume is torn asunder, when the charade ceases, can they be seen for what they are.

Only when the costume is left behind, when the players break from their lines, can they be transformed into what they had earlier only pretended to be.

Leave behind the ACT.
Leave behind the bravado that makes you think you are strong.
Leave behind the baubles that makes you think you are rich.
Leave behind the costume that makes you think you are clothed.
Stand exposed as wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked.
Buy gold and become rich.
Buy white garments and be clothed.
Get eye salve that you may see.
Come to Jesus, and BE.

“Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked— I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. ”
~Revelation 3:17-18


WiW: Outsourcing humanity

The Week in Words

“Peter Suderman…argues that…’it’s no longer terribly efficient to use our brains to store information.’ Memory, he says, should now function like a simple index, pointing us to places on the Web where we can locate the information we need at the moment we need it….
Don Tapscott, the technology writer, puts it more bluntly. Now that we can look up anything ‘with a click on Google,’ he says, ‘memorizing long passages or historical facts’ is obsolete. Memorization is ‘a waste of time.'”
~Nicholas Carr The Shallows

Memorization is a waste of time, Tapscott suggests.

I understand where Tapscott is coming from.

If memorization is merely a means by which information is stored for future recall, information can be stored much more easily, with much less work, online.

Why memorize sports stats if I can just look them up online whenever I need them? Why memorize the dates of friend’s birthdays when Facebook can remind me on the day?

“[Clive Thompson] suggest that ‘by offloading data onto silicon, we free our own gray matter for more germanely ‘human’ tasks like brainstorming and daydreaming.'”
~Nicholas Carr The Shallows

It’s a nice idea. Let the computers do the dreary work of memorizing. Let’s stick to the parts that make humans unique. The stuff that can’t be outsourced.

Thompson lists brainstorming and daydreaming as more “germanely” (fittingly, appropriately) human tasks than the task of memory.

In a way, he’s right.

We can outsource “memory” (the storage of facts) to computers–but we cannot outsource brainstorming or daydreaming.

As such, brainstorming and daydreaming are more germanely human than memory.

But he fails to mention what I think is an even more germanely human task–the task of thinking.

Humans are unique among created beings in that they have a mind in addition to just a brain.

Humans can think. They can sort through stored information. They can make new connections between information. They can discover new applications of information. And they can be transformed as they think through information.

You can memorize without thinking. Computers do that.

But I don’t know that you can think without memory.

Thinking. It’s an integral part of the Imago Dei.

And memory is an integral part of thinking.

That’s why I disagree with the above commentators.

We can’t outsource memory–because if we do so, we lessen our ability to think. And in doing so, we lose an essential part of what it means to be human.

That’s one thing we can’t outsource.

Don’t forget to take a look at Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.


Snapshot: Baby Quilt Square

When I showed my dad the pattern we’d picked for my nephew’s baby quilt, he warned me solemnly:

“You’d best not let this get around or you’ll have women lining up for a chance to be your sister-in-law.”

Square for Dan and Deb's baby's quilt

I told him that was fine with me so long as said women had brothers who were suitable and amenable to the idea.

I don’t think that’s what he meant.

Even so, if you’re drooling for a baby quilt and want to try your chances at becoming my sister-in-law, I’m amenable to set-ups.


Epic Project: 4.5 Years

I’m a sucker for epic projects.

And I’m not exaggerating.

epic
of unusually great size or extent
Trying to read every book in her local library is a project of epic proportions

Yes, I definitely go for epic projects.

I’m four-and-a-half years into this one–and probably not even one tenth of one percent done. (Purely a guess, I have no idea how massive this project is. I don’t know how big my library’s collection is–and I don’t know how fast it’s growing either.)

But I am moving towards my goal, reading with unabashed abandon.

Library Item Use in Past 4.5 Years

Per Year Per Month Per Week Per Day
Total items 550 45.8 10.6 1.5
Total books 468.7 39.1 9.0 1.3
Books (excluding children’s picture books) 200.7 16.7 3.9 .6

Notes on Each Category of Books

Items over 4.5 years Items in last 6 months Notes:
Juvenile Picture Books 756 160 Authors “Babcock” through “Bartoletti”. Reviews found under the category Reading My Library
Juvenile First Readers 49 0 I have not read a juvenile first reader since September 9, 2009
Juvenile Chapter Books 79 0 I have not read a juvenile chapter book since October 22, 2009
Juvenile Fiction 243 5
Juvenile Nonfiction 76 8 I’ve read more juvenile nonfiction in the past 6 months than I did in the year prior.
Adult Fiction 323 26
Adult Nonfiction 523 20 I’m reading nonfiction at less than half the rate of last year. Then again, last year was my year for “exercising my mind towards the things of God”
Videos/DVDs 137 12 About two per month, not bad for someone who really doesn’t DO movies.
Cassette Tapes/Compact Discs 227 70 More than I listened to in the entire year prior-It’s amazing what a commute can do for your listening practices.
Periodicals 57 0 Although I’m going to add another in the next 6 months, since I found the quilt I’ll be making for my little nephew in a quilting periodical!

So there you have it–4.5 years into an epic project (and still going strong!)


Are you my brother?

“But he’s like a brother” she said.

“Except that he’s not.” I thought.

It’s a sentiment I hear a lot–and use plenty myself. I talk of brothers and sister in Christ. I quote the Scripture about treating young women as sisters. I talk about not causing my “brother” to stumble.

But sometimes I think we take the analogy (or even the spiritual reality) too far in our everyday lives.

We forget, perhaps, that there’s at least one critical distinction between a brother-in-the-Lord and a brother-by-blood.

You can’t marry a brother-by-blood.

Which allows a certain liberty to be taken in thought and action.

I don’t really think much about whether my brothers-by-blood like me or how they’re reading my behavior towards them. I don’t have to. My siblings all know that none of our intentions towards one another are sexual–or heading towards marital intimacy.

As such, I am often candid with my brothers-by-blood when discussing my heart or even my body. I share my heartaches with them. I talk about my cycles in their presence (not that they’re ever too pleased by that line of conversation.) Likewise, I punch, pinch, tease, or hug my brothers-by-blood–with little thought to how it is perceived. So what if I sit on my little brother when he beats me to the chair I wanted?

But this is not how I ought to treat my brother-in-the-Lord who is not my brother-by-blood.

Even if my intention towards my brother-in-the-Lord is completely platonic, there is no guarantee that our relationship will always be platonic.

There is nothing biologically keeping me from having a more than platonic relationship with my brother-in-the-Lord.

And there’s nothing biologically keeping him from thinking or feeling towards me in a manner that is not platonic.

Which means that treating my brother-in-the-Lord as a brother means more than just treating him the exact way I treat my brothers-by-blood.

I need to not lust after him (just as I would not lust after my brothers-by-blood)–but beyond, I need to take deliberate steps to guard his heart (the heart that is not guarded by the natural platonicity that siblings-by-blood have towards one another.)

I need to act deliberately towards my brothers-in-Christ.

It’s not enough to dismiss them as “but he’s like a brother.”

He’s also a single man that could potentially marry me (or want to).

Which means I need to treat him not quite like a brother.


I realize that some people do struggle with physical attraction towards their brothers-by-blood. In these cases, extra caution should be taken with them as well. But the normative experience is that siblings not only have the implicit understanding that they cannot marry by law but explicit biological deterrents to sexual awareness of their siblings. One famous study found that women were “turned off” by the sweat of their biological relations, while the sweat of unrelated men (believe it or not) can be aphrodisiac (related to pheromones found in said sweat.)


Thankful Thursday: Mock Survey

My main facility went through their “mock survey” yesterday and today–the time of the year when people from other facilities and from the regional and district offices come to rip us up and down in preparation for state surveys.

The goal is to find what needs to be fixed and either fix it or at least have a plan in place by the time state comes knocking at our doors.

But what mock survey usually means is a whole lot of stress and coming out feeling like you’ve been chewed up and spit out.

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Which is why, this week I’m thankful…

…for a limited amount of tags (Tags are the “gotchas” the survey team hands out.)

…for a dietitian surveyor who is a former classmate (It’s always nice to catch up–and Lindsay was very good to walk me through my first mock survey.)

…for no holes in my documentation (I generally find at least one thing per day that I think I probably should be doing, doing more of, or doing better at. I am grateful that the mock survey did not point out anything more.)

…for a wonderful management team that I truly enjoy being a part of

…for great charge nurses who do a fantastic job of notifying me of changes, allowing me to catch problems before they become huge issues

…for getting something done in the last couple of days–I never dreamed I would actually be able to do some of my own work while surveyors were here!

…for non-busy times at the other facilities and accommodating Executive Directors who are willing to let me spend an extra day in Columbus in the upcoming few weeks so that I can stay on top of changes in this facility.

…for the Sovereign God who directs the cosmos and takes the time to work out the details of MY little-ole-mock-survey. :-)


The Calculations I Make

One of the most routine parts of my daily life is pulling out my calculator and determining someone’s energy and protein needs.

The process I use most frequently looks like this:

1.) Determine person’s BMI
To do this, I need to know their weight in pounds and height in inches. I divide their weight in pounds by their height in inches, then divide that number by their height in inches again. Finally, I multiply this number by 705.

To use myself as an example (which is why I’m doing this anyway), I would take my weight (142#) and divide it by my height (70″).

142/70=2.02857 (don’t round at this point)

This number needs to be divided by my height again:

2.02857/70=.028979 (still no rounding)

Now I multiply this by 705:

.028979*705=20.4 (now is where I round to one decimal place).

2.) Use BMI to determine whether a person is underweight, normal weight, overweight, or obese

This can be easily done using the following schema:
–BMI <18.5 is underweight --BMI 18.5-24.9 is normal weight --BMI 25.0-29.9 is overweight --BMI >30.0 is obese

By this categorization, we can see that with a BMI of 20.4, I am in the “normal weight” category.

3.) If the person is obese, determine their ideal body weight and develop an “adjusted body weight”

To determine an ideal body weight, you need to know whether your person is a woman or a man.

Women get 100 lbs to start with and then add on 5 lbs for every inch in height over 5 feet (60 inches)–or take away 5 lbs for every inch in height less than 5 feet.

Since I’m 70 inches tall, I get 100# for the first 60″ and add on 10*5=50 for the final 10 inches. So my ideal body weight is 150#.

Men start with 106 lbs and get 6 lbs for every inch in height over 6 feet.

Which means that if I was a man, I’d get 106# for my first 60″ and add on 10*6=60 for my final 10 inches, making my ideal body weight 166#.

Now, I can make an “adjusted body weight” for my obese residents. I take their actual body weight and subtract their ideal body weight to get the approximate pounds of fat on their bodies. I divide this by four and then add that number to their ideal body weight. This is their adjusted body weight (I do this because fat requires fewer Calories to keep it going–and I don’t want to overfeed the fat!)

Because I’m not obese, I can’t do this for me for real, but I can pretend that I’m only 60″ tall, with an ideal body weight of 100#.

Then I’d take my actual body weight (142#) and subtract my ideal body weight (100# in this example)

142-100=42

I’d take this answer and divide it by four

42/4=10.5

Then I’d add it to my ideal body weight

10.5+100=110.5

And there we have it–my adjusted body weight (if I were 60″ tall) is 110.5#

4) Convert the person’s body weight (or adjusted body weight, if the person is obese) into kilograms.

This is pretty easy. Just divide by 2.2.

So my weight in kilograms is 142/2.2=64.6

5) Finally, multiply the person’s body weight in kilograms by a defined factor to determine an estimate of daily energy needs

Generally, the factors I use are as follows:
…if the person is underweight, multiply actual body weight in kg by 30 to 35 (30 is lower range, 35 is upper range)
…if the person is in the normal range, multiply actual body weight in kg by 28 to 30
…if the person is in the overweight range, multiply actual body weight in kg by 25 to 28
…if the person is in the obese range, multiply adjusted body weight in kg by 25 to 30

Thus, if I were underweight, my energy needs would be 64.6*30=1938 kcal/day to 64.6*35=2261 kcal/day

Since I’m in the normal weight range, my energy needs are actually closer to 64.6*28=1808 kcal/day to 64.6*30=1938 kcal/day

If I were overweight, I’d calculate my needs at 64.6*25=1612 kcal/day to 64.6*28=1808 kcal/day.

And if I were obese, using the adjusted body weight determined above, I’d need 50.2*25=1255 kcal/day to 50.2*30=1506 kcal/day

Of course, the above factors are simply generalities. I would adjust them further if, for instance, an individual had a disease that increased or decreased energy needs or if an individual had recently lost a lot of weight (or gained a lot of weight). And even once I’ve calculated all this, I still have to monitor other indicators (such as weight) to make sure that what I’m providing is sufficient.


While it looks complicated when all typed out like this, this process is about as natural to me as breathing. I make these calculations at least a dozen times a day–with hardly any conscious thought.

Just one (tiny) piece of what it means to be a Registered Dietitian.

(Of course, this is just one of many ways to estimate nutrient needs. I could use others, but feel that this is one of the simplest and most effective for adjusting to the needs of a mostly elderly, long term care population–many of whom are overweight or obese.)


Book Review: “The Liturgical Year” by Joan Chittister

Some people fondly remember Saturday morning cartoons. I remember Saturday morning radio.

In my youngest years, it was Mr. Nick and Jungle Jam and Adventures in Odyssey on KGBI-our local Christian radio station. Later, it was Reasons to Believe’s weekly radio program streaming from my Dad’s laptop as he prepared his breakfast or took his shower.

RTB has since dropped its radio format–but I’m still listening. Now I’m listening to RTB’s resident theologian and philosopher Kenneth Samples on his “Straight Thinking” podcast.

I have a lot to learn about logic and philosophy and theology, but one thing Ken has taught me is the components of an argument.

First, an argument requires an assertion (a truth claim). Second, an argument requires facts to support its assertion.

If all you have is facts, you don’t have an argument–you have only information. If all you have is assertions, you don’t have an argument–you have only opinions.

Which is exactly what you’ll find in Joan Chittister’s The Liturgical Year: the spiraling adventure of the spiritual life.

Chittister makes plenty of claims about the liturgical year…

“…The liturgical year is one of the teaching dimensions of the church. It is a lesson in life.”

“In the liturgy, then, is the standard of what it means to live a Christian life both as the church and as individuals. The seasons and cycles and solemnities put before us in the liturgical year are more than representations of time past; they are an unending sign–a veritable sacrament of life. It is through them that the Christ-life becomes present in our own lives in the here and now.”

“In every age, the liturgical year exists to immerse its world in the current as well as the eternal meanings of the Christian life.”

“Like the voices of loved ones gone before us, the liturgical year is the voice of Jesus calling to us every day of our lives to wake our sleeping selves from the drowsing effects of purposelessness and meaninglessness, materialism and hedonism, rationalism and indifference, to attend to the life of the Jesus who cries within us for fulfillment.”

but she rarely, if ever offers any information to support her claims.

I explained/complained about this to my little sister when I was four chapters in–and Grace urged me to read the rest of the book. Maybe it would get better.

I was certainly hopeful that once Chittister finished her introduction she’d get down to presenting some real arguments–or at least some useful facts with which I could build my own arguments.

Alas, my hopes were futile.

I’ve forced my way through two-thirds of this book, feeling obligated to give it a fair shot since I’d received my copy free from the publisher in exchange for my review.

But the truth is, if I hadn’t received this for free, I wouldn’t have wasted my time. I’d have read my obligatory 50 pages and called it quits.

The few bits of actual information found within these pages are pretty interesting–or would be if they’d have been extracted and presented as a five page essay. As a 200 page book, split by Chittister’s continued ramblings and unsupported assertions, they’re worthless.

I can’t in good conscience recommend this book.


Rating: 0 stars
Category:Spirituality
Synopsis:Chittister gives lots of opinions about what the liturgical year is–without a lot of information to back it up
Recommendation: No.


I think it probably goes without saying that the views provided in this review are my own–but for the sake of full disclosure, I received this book for free via the Book Sneeze blogger program at Thomas Nelson.