Recently, three star night posed the following question:
If you couldn’t read it, the (rather syntaxically awkward) question was:
“Is it worse to hope that things will stay the same and find that they’re different? Or hoping that things will be different to find that nothing’s changed?”
Sure, the question is worded in an awkward manner. But the question resonates. What do we do with hopes that flounder or die? When you want changes but get different ones than you wanted? When you want things to stay the same, but find it impossible to continue on the way things have been?
That’s where I’m at. I’m right here, right there–in two places at once, in two jobs at once, with two hearts at once. I’m here with a heavy heart and dashed dreams.
Justin Buzzard writes from the same place:
“My brother and I are learning that when plans fail and dreams die, God has us right where he wants us.
It’s when plans fail and dreams die that we come to the end of our strength, wisdom, and resources. It’s in these times that we face situations totally beyond ourselves. We can’t fix it! We don’t know what to do! And where do we find ourselves? Flat on our face, ‘bowed down to the dust,’ crying to God for help.”
~Justin Buzzard, from Buzzard Blog
This isn’t an easy road; it’s not a fun path–but it’s a reminder to entrust my heart to the King of the Universe; it’s encouragement to make Him my supreme Dream and Delight. It’s a coming to the end of myself, when I cling to Him.
I need Him, O how I need Him. And O how I know it in those times when my heart is heavy and my dreams are dashed.
Collect more quotes from throughout the week with Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”.
This past summer when my family was experiencing multiple changes — every single member moved, one away from home for the first time — and in all the resulting changes, I was comforted by the line from the hymn, “Be Still My Soul”: “In every change, He faithful still remains.” He is really the only One in this life that we can count on to never change, or to trust that whatever changes He brings into our lives have a purpose.
Love that quote from Justin — I’ve found it very true.
Hmm…pondering the question. I tend to start out pessimistic by nature–I assume the worst and then am pleasantly surprised when things don’t turn out as negatively as they could have. Not sure that answers the question though…
Sounds like you are in a very difficult place, but one in which change is probably in the works. Praying for you Rebekah. Keep holding on to your strong faith and even stronger Savior!
It’s hard to face changes when you don’t want them OR to face sameness when you really desire a change. It’s hard also to realize that you only cling to God when something traumatic is going on and forget Him during the day to day. Ouch.
I think I have an easier time adjusting to different changes than I expected than beating my head against the same old wall. My family always used to call me the traditionalist, but actually down under the layers I’m a bit of a maverick, I think.
Sorry you’re in a tough place…