Nightstand (September 2012)

It’s amazing how dating/going out/being courted eats into one’s reading time.

Somehow, those hours that used to be spent reading are now being spent with Daniel.

I can’t say I mind terribly.

He’s every bit as interesting as a book. Maybe even (gasp!) more.

This month I completed:

• 5 “Clifford the Big Red Dog” books
• Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
  Read because Daniel is a fan of Dostoevsky. Enjoyed because it’s good (and possibly because Daniel is a fan.) Read my review if you’d like, but really it’s as much about Daniel and me as it is about Dostoevsky or Crime and Punishment. Sorry, twitterpated much?
• I John
  Still steeping in I John–although my time here may be coming to a close. Currently contemplating what my next step should be devotionally speaking.
• When Can I say, ‘I Love You’ by Max and Vivian Rice
  When I saw this thin volume on sale for 59 cents at a used store, I knew I wanted to own it. Who can resist a 1977 Christian dating book? The book didn’t really answer its title question, but it did have some pretty good comments.

  Chapter 2 discussed the three Greek words for love: agape, phileo, and eros–and how all three are necessary for a happy marriage. But the authors point out that the foundation of a happy marriage is agape, then phileo, then eros last. I loved how they described why they think it’s wise to delay eros in a dating relationship:

  “For Plato, eros was ‘an ecstasy which transports man beyond rationality.’ …If you retain your common sense, you do not have a real case of eros…. The conclusion should be obvious. If we become blind as soon as eros sets in, we must be sure that we have agape and phileo love first…

  To illustrate, suppose you are planning to go out one night. The power company calls and informs you that the lights will be turned off in fifteen minutes. You need to choose socks to match your clothes. Would you want to make your choice before or after the lights go out?

  Likewise, if you want to be sure you have agape and phileo love for a person, when do you need to decide? Before the lights go out. As soon as eros sets in, the lights go out. You become blind….

  How do you keep it from happening to you? Postpone physical relations that would result in eros until after the other relationships are thoroughly developed. This, of course, takes time.”

  I also appreciated the Rice’s suggestions for “things that you can do on a date that will help you become marriageable and, at the same time, help you choose the right person.” They suggest working together, playing together, thinking together, and worshiping together. Money quote: “You do not get to know anybody by smooching with him. You get to know him much better when he hits his thumb with a hammer.”

  While the majority of the very solid advice given by the Rice’s can be translated easily into 21st century relationships, one bit may strike the current-day reader as a bit odd. The Rice’s encourage teens against going steady, instead encouraging them to date a lot of people. This advice makes sense when “date” means what it apparently meant in the 70s–going rollerskating or to a dance or getting dinner together. It does not make sense in the modern teenage sense of the word, when “date” more often means “make-out session”. Ultimately, the Rice’s are encouraging teens to develop friendships (based on agape and phileo love) with many people of the same and the opposite sex, rather than becoming exclusive and erotic early in life. The concept is good, but the terminology is a bit outdated (punny!)

This month I read some of:

• The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
  A book about resolving conflicts by helping things go right. It’s interesting because it’s written as a story. I’m really looking forward to digging into this more and hope especially to find some useful information to help me manage people better (and ultimately to love my employees more effectively.)
• The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
  A few gems amidst some definite dung. But Bierce’s political commentary cannot be beaten–and some of his epigrams are quite canny “Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
• Lit! by Tony Reinke
  Won from Lisa Writes. I’m feeling a bit guilty to be slowing my reading so much just as I’m reading this–but such it is. And this has definitely been a thought-provoking look at why and how and when I read.
• The Taste of Tomorrow by Josh Schonwald
  A rather interesting look at food trends–trying to predict what’s coming next. I’m really excited about this book and have really enjoyed what I’ve read so far–but I’ve still only completed two chapters.
• The Two Friends and the Shadow by Joshua Menter with Joseph Boyer
  The first draft of my little (6’3″ish) brother’s fantasy novel. So far, I’m enjoying it quite a bit. I’ve just gotten to where I can see the shadow creeping.
• Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes
  Checked out on my Kindle, but unfortunately with the text-to-speech capability turned off–which means that I was only able to read three chapters before my lending period expired. Interesting thesis, but having a hard time not being ticked off by his pooh-poohing energy balance. I’m on the waiting list for when the Kindle edition becomes available again.

This month I gave up on:

• Three Times Blessed by Lori Copeland
  I’ve read and been moderately entertained by a number of Copeland’s books–but, for now, these tired love stories are less than diverting. This one, in particular, turned me off by the end of the first chapter when the heroine muses to herself:

  “All she had to do was keep reasonably independent until the teaching position became available; pride said she must earn her keep. And she would, but in the meantime she intended to pursue this fine man who was now leading her horse up the hill.”

  Apart from the not-so-fantastic writing, this is just wrong. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather not have the women pursuing.

  I’ll stick with my own love story, thank-you-very-much. ‘Cause I prefer a story where a man does the pursuing–and where, instead of leading a horse up a hill, he leads a woman to follow hard after Christ.

  Somehow, the fictional “blessing” just doesn’t cut it compared to that.

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!