You know that verse people always pull out around wedding-times?
“Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.”
~Ruth 1:16
Obviously a romantic and wedding appropriate Scripture, right?
But the context of this verse isn’t a wedding at all.
Actually, it’s a funeral.
Ruth’s husband has died, as has her husband’s brother and father. Now only she, her sister-in-law, and her mother-in-law remain, destitute widows in Moab.
Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, urges Ruth and Orpah to return to their fathers’ houses, to remarry and to be happy.
Ruth protests, saying that she would rather be a foreigner in a foreign land, would rather work to support her helpless mother-in-law, would rather adopt a foreign God than leave her beloved mother-in-law.
A far cry from modern mother-in-law stories.
So many women are at odds with their mothers-in-law. Or if they aren’t at odds, they don’t protest at the profusion of mother-in-law jokes.
This saddens me.
That’s not what I want my relationship with my mother-in-law to look like. I don’t want to roll my eyes at her and forever be competing with her (whether actually or just in our minds) for my husband’s affection.
While I certainly don’t want to be in Ruth’s situation, I would love to have the kind of relationship with my mother-in-law that I would respond as Ruth did.
Of course, I have on good authority that my soon-to-be mother-in-law is a wonderful woman and a fantastic mother-in-law.
When Daniel and I were visiting his brother and sister-in-law before my trip to Philadelphia, Katie shooed her husband from the room so she could give me the down-low on the family. (She must have seen the writing on the wall–we got engaged, much to our surprise, only days later.)
Katie had only good things to say about her mother-in-law, a woman who I had not yet met.
Now, having met Paula, I can say with certitude that I am inclined to like her and am very much looking forward to having her as a mother-in-law.
Of course, this week I have extra incentive to repeat Ruth’s words:
Where you go I will go
since she’s going to Wichita
and where you lodge I will lodge
actually, I’ll be staying elsewhere, but we’ll both be spending a good amount of time at the home of her son, my betrothed
Your people shall be my people,
That is, her son shall be my husband (!)
and your God my God.
I am so thrilled that my future mother-in-law is a woman of God who will pray for Daniel and I and encourage us in the Lord.
This weekend, I have the delightful opportunity to travel with my future father- and mother-in-law to Wichita (9 hours roundtrip) to see Daniel.
While I won’t lie and say that I have no apprehensions, I am overwhelmingly excited for this chance to get to know my in-laws better (and maybe to learn a little more about the man I love.)
Where you go, indeed.
What a blessing you already must be to your future in-laws!
They are definitely two of my favorite people to be around; Rick for the conversation, Paula for her cooking (and conversation too).
I have to confess that for years I struggled with my relationship with my mother in law. It gradually got better,,,um 20 years later. But she passed away a couple of years ago and I miss her terribly! I never would have thought that I’d have such a void in my life. I would tell any young woman to treasure their mother in law. They are special
Exciting! I hope you have a great time.
The Ruth quote at weddings bothers me as well. I’m glad to see you pointing that out.
HA! We used that quote at our wedding and in part because it did feel like a death of self and a joining with someone else. Of course, we spent most of our time (Jonathan and I) leading up to the wedding arguing our hearts out and so making that statement was HUGE and meaningful and is still impacting in the, um, harsher moments.
We had interesting in-law experiences. But I can honestly say that I learned to love my mother-in-law and when she died there left a hole and it will never quite be filled. (Although my step-MIL is doing a great job. It’s very much not the same.)
You’ve given Heather and I excellent conversation when we meet up for dinner tonight! ;D
Ok ok, I probably shouldn’t pass judgment on other people’s wedding scripts. haha! Knowing the context (and I’m sure you and Jonathan knew it before you picked it) I wouldn’t want to use it, but I probably shouldn’t come down hard on it.
You are a wise woman to be eager to develop a wonderful relationship with your mother-in-law. I’ve spent a fair amount of time analyzing my relationship with my mother-in-law (in part, because I wrote about it extensively on my blog in response to a question from a reader), and I’m happy to say that mother-in-law relationships do NOT have to become the world’s stereotypical version. It sounds like your relationship with Paula is getting off to a fantastic start, and I pray that the coming years only serve to bond your hearts even closer!