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And now for something completely different…

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Have you seen this video by my cousin?

Okay. So he’s not my cousin (Bummer for me).

But he is my cousin’s brother (Yay for me).

Either way, Mike Tompkins is a pretty amazing artist.

And guess what?

If you know me (and of course you do), you can claim connection to him too!

And through him to Ellen Degeneres.

As in, “So I know this girl whose cousin’s brother was on the Ellen Degeneres Show–which means that there are only six degrees separating me from…” (Insert your own celebrity–pretty much all of them have been on Ellen right? I’m checking out my most important celebrities: Colin Firth, check. Hugh Grant, check. Meg Ryan, check. Jennifer Aniston, check. Ooo-looks like no Peter Jackson. Anyway, that’s okay for me since I have only four degrees to Ellen, so I can go two steps beyond. For you, well, sorry.)

And now you’ve completely got me pegged. I am an old-school chick flick watcher. Or maybe those people were popular during my brief stint of People magazine reading. Or maybe I just have a horrible time remembering celebrity names and that was the best I could do. So sue me. But don’t forget that I’m practically related to Brad Pitt. Which means it might be a PR nightmare to try to sue me. Just sayin’.

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: What I got at Goodwill (and what I left behind)

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I have many irrational fears in life that are unlikely to come true (can anyone say being hung by my bellybutton?)–but I have other fears that I never realize until they come true and I panic.

Losing a notebook is one of those sorts of fears.

It happens every time I lose a notebook. My breathing becomes shallow, my heart starts racing, my blood pressure rises. I play over the contents of the notebook a hundred times, run through a thousand ideas of what might have happened that it’s lost.

Thankful Thursday banner

This week I’m thankful…

…for the shoe rack I got at Goodwill
I’ve wanted one of these for quite a while, but everything I looked at was either flimsy or expensive. I briefly toyed with making my own out of PVC pipe (from an idea on Pinterest)–but I discovered that 6″ diameter PVC pipe isn’t cheap, so I finally caved and added a shoe rack to my Christmas list. Then, this week, I found a sturdy rack for only $3 at Goodwill. Thank you, Lord!

…for the fabric I got at Goodwill (for a steal)
I know I already have too much fabric, but it has become somewhat of an obsession for me. And the Goodwill’s always have such fabulous fabric, at such a great price ($0.50 per yard). But this was an even better deal than normal (or is it wrong to be thankful that the salesgirl guessed at yardage instead of measuring and vastly underestimated the quantity?) Thank you, Lord, for beautiful wools and cottons and double knits (because I always pick up some of that when I’m there!)

…for the Lemony Snickett books that I got at Goodwill
I’ve enjoyed A Series of Unfortunate Events since it first came out, reading it with my not-into-reading, then-still-a-little-boy brother (who is now Marine). I started collecting the books a few years later when the library started sloughing extraneous copies. But I didn’t manage to get the whole set, and I could never remember which books I had and which I didn’t. I wrote down which titles I had in my planner/binder/notebook–but since writing my list, I haven’t seen Snickett books anywhere. Until last night. Last night, I saw the books and ran back out to my car to grab my notebook. They had every single copy I was missing. I was grateful to be able to grab them all up. Thank you, Lord.

…for the notebook I left behind
I got done checking out and had to take two trips to my car to carry out my loot (which also included a vintage suitcase, a purse/soft briefcase, and a cork board just the right size for a project I’d been planning). It just so happens, I left my book in the cart. I didn’t realize it until I’d gotten home (to Columbus from Grand Island.)

My heart started pounding, my pulse racing. My breath came out ragged, my mind spooling the loop. “What’s in it? Just my planner pages, long ago used up. I haven’t used it for weeks. It won’t hurt to just let it go.”

I mentally turned the divider and saw my list of books that I own and books that I’m missing. It’ll be sad to part with that but I can always make a new list. My mind turned over the next divider and what I saw made me certain I needed to get it back. Systematic theology notes and returned homework–and the homework I haven’t yet completed for when we resume after the holidays. Yeah, I’d probably want that back.

The next divider clinched the deal. My TBR list, painstakingly handwritten in pencil on the special sheets I’d made for it. Categorized by section of the library and further by author last name or Dewey Decimal category, I’d arranged it for ease of finding books at the library (and for erasing read books and refilling that slot with a new item). Furthermore, many of the items on the list are cataloged only on that list, since my computer debacle earlier this year meant that I lost all my bookmarked book reviews that populated my TBR list.

Yes, I needed it back. I started playing through scenarios of how I could get it back, even jumping out of my bath in the middle of it to search once more through my car to see if I’d somehow missed it when I brought my stuff in. Anxiety was at its peak.

Then I stopped and reminded myself that I could do nothing about it today. I left myself a note for the next day and went to bed. The next day, I called the Goodwill. A helpful donation sorter found my book and gave me a call back. It was safe and sound in the office until the day I could return to get it back.

I’m so thankful to get it back–but even more thankful to have learned something about surrendering my fears to God, and letting Him deal with the details.

Categories Faith, Rants

Why I’m not bothered by X-mas (like some people are)

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If your Facebook news feed is anything like mine, it’s populated by status updates from three types of people: those who love Christmas, those who hate Christmas, and those who are desperate to put Christ back in Christmas.

The third group is, of course, referring to the apparently secular designation “X-mas.”

I am not among those bothered by “X-mas”, partly because I’m not sure the title is worth a fight and partly because I’m not sure that X-mas is so anti-Christ as it’s made out to be.

After all, when I think of an “X” in place of something in a word, the first thing that comes to mind is those signs in front of Walmarts everywhere.

PED XING they declare in bold caps.

Pedestrian crossing.

X=Cross

Cross-Mas.

I can handle that.

The second thing I think of when I think of an X in place of a word is how illiterate individuals sign their names.

I know that Jesus wasn’t illiterate–he did, after all, take his place reading the Torah in the synagogue (Luke 4:16-21). But he was the companion of uneducated, common men (Acts 4:13). Throughout his life, Jesus spent time with the lowest of the low, the “underclass” of the Jewish world–Samaritans, prostitutes, tax collectors. You couldn’t go any lower.

Except that Jesus did. He went as low as absolutely possible, humbling himself to take on the humiliation of every man–every sin ever committed. He identified with–no, he became the lowest of the low by taking on man’s sin and bearing man’s curse.

I can see Jesus signing His name with a bold “X”, a reminder of of his identification with the downtrodden.

But the X doesn’t only mean “Cross” like in Ped Xing. It isn’t simply a mark in place of a signature.

X is also the Latinized version of the Greek letter CHI.

As in Χριστός (Christos).

Yes, that’s right.

X-mas means CHRISTmas.

Which is probably why I’m not too bothered by it.

Interested in reading more about the word “X-mas”? Check out Wikipedia’s article on the topic.

As an additional note, I always pronounce the word “X-mas” as “KRISS-MUSS”, never as “EX MUSS”; just as I never (except in jest) say “I EM AACH OH” when I mean “In my humble opinion.”

IMHO (read “In my humble opinion”), X-mas is an abbreviation that should be used only to save space in print, not to degrade the spoken language.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: “A is for Adam” by Ken and Mally Ham

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I pulled the books off the shelf willy-nilly, eager for some Bible story action from the Dewey Decimal 222s. Like usual, I didn’t stop to look at titles or authors on any of them. After all, I’m going to read every book in that library eventually, right?

When I got home to discover that I had Ken and Mally Ham’s A is for Adam: The Gospel from Genesis in my stack (and saw how big the book was–a whomping 118 pages for a picture book!), my heart sunk a bit.

You see, I’m an adamant creationist–but a creationist of a different breed than the Hams. Most of my encounters with the Ham version of creation has involved bashing those of my opinion–accusing us of compromising Biblical authority, maligning God’s character, and undermining the gospel. Not exactly something that predisposes me to enjoying what he’s written.

What I found left me one part pleasantly surprised and one part frankly disappointed.

I found that the children’s picture book section of the volume focused primarily on the events of Genesis and saved its ire for evolution (rather than picking up the Old Earth-New Earth debate.) I appreciated this show of restraint in focusing on the less disputable matters in Genesis. While there were certainly some elements of the story that read into Scripture what Scripture may not actually be saying, the overall story reflected Orthodox Christian belief regarding creation with little to dispute. I found this pleasantly surprising.

What I did not find pleasant was the clunky grammar and contrived rhyme found throughout the story. I was ready to forgive “B is for Bible, a book God did give” as an awkward attempt to maintain meter. What I can’t forgive is “Like all of the animals, no man did they fear”, “To sleep God did put him, and when he awoke”, “H is for how very sly he did sound”, and so forth. The overuse of the emphatic “did”, generally in an inverted sentence, is deplorable. It is aesthetically awful, a rape of the English language. In this, the book was unequivocally disappointing.

I alluded a bit earlier to “the children’s picture book section” of this book. That’s because this volume is a multipurpose, 3-in-1 extravaganza. First, it contains a children’s picture book with the aforementioned despicable writing accompanied by full color cartoon-like illustrations. The second section consists of commentary and “student exercises” for each of the 26 rhymes found within the children’s picture book. Finally, the book is repeated with the illustrations offered in outline so that children can color the book.

The second section of the book showed little of the restraint that characterized the first. Among other things, the commentary asserts that we can confidently date both the creation of the world and the flood of Noah from the genealogies of Scripture, that Noah’s flood must have been a global flood, that animal death was necessarily a consequence of the fall, and that dinosaurs unequivocally coexisted with humans.

I’d have liked to have liked this picture book, with its mostly indisputable story of creation and its clear emphasis on the gospel as being God’s plan from the beginning. Unfortunately, the combination of bad writing in the picture book portion and the presentation of young earth perspectives as the only Biblically faithful way to interpret Scripture leaves me unable to recommend this book, even in part.

Rating:1 Star
Category:Nonfiction picture book
Synopsis: An A-B-C book detailing the events of creation as interpreted by Young Earth creationist Ham.
Recommendation: Great idea (for the picture book part). Awful writing. Wooden interpretation of Scripture. I don’t recommend it.

If it hadn’t have been too long, I would have subtitled this post “In which I come out of the closet.” I realize that many of my readers likely hold different views than I regarding creation. Please realize that my review of this book as an Old-Earth creationist is not, in any way, meant to be a criticism of New-Earth creationism as such. Rather, my criticism is for the refusal to accept alternate interpretations of the creation account (such as the Day-Age view, to which I subscribe) as orthodox. In other words, I understand and appreciate that others hold to a different interpretation of the events of creation than I do. I do not appreciate the tendency to make the age of the earth a point of doctrinal orthodoxy or to accuse those of a differing viewpoint of not caring about Scriptural faithfulness or gospel truth.

Categories The Week in Words

WiW: In which I get political

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Every four years or so, I hear the old refrain begin again.

The media encourages politicians to “reach across the aisle”, to reconcile between the parties, to limit their squabbling and be a happy family.

And every four years (actually much more frequently), I groan as politicians pander to one another and to Washington business as usual, further enslaving the American people.

This is what comes to mind when I read Thomas Paine’s revolutionary words in his Common Sense.

“…I am inclined to believe that all those who espouse the doctrine of reconciliation may be included within the following descriptions: Interested men, who are not to be trusted; weak men who cannot see; prejudiced men, who will not see; and a certain set of moderate men, who think better of the European world than it deserves; and this last class, by an ill-judged deliberation, will be the cause of more calamities to this continent than all the other three.”

There are four types of people who encourage the continued farce of American politicking:

  1. Those who have something to gain from business-as-usual
    The career politician who makes a living by not making waves. The lobbyist who makes a living toadying before said politicians. The bureaucrat and the bail-out who make a living off the backs of working Americans.
  2. Those who cannot see the direction we are pointed
    The unconcerned who think little of the slavery into which they are selling their children, so wrapped up they are in their current troubles. The misled who somehow believe that government intervention in the economy is helping rather than hurting.
  3. Those whose prejudices lead them to ignore business-as-usual
    The social zealots who are so eager to see their agenda accomplished that they willfully refuse to see how the accomplishment of their agenda means the destruction of American freedom. Those who adamantly follow a party, insisting that if their party does it it must be right.
  4. Those who embrace moderation, who think politicking can be reasoned with

I, like Paine, am most afraid of the fourth group.

These, who think they can make the Republican party, the Democratic party come to their senses. These, who think that our republic could be saved if we just all got along. These, who think that small measures can somehow stem the tide, that outreach to the other side would end in agreement.

These are the frightening ones.

These good-hearted souls mean well but underestimate the weight our nation currently stands against.

Our government is bankrupt, amassing debt at a rate of more than $1 million per minute (see the US Debt Clock). The burden of the national debt amounts to a home mortgage for every taxpayer–and continues to grow as the number of taxpayers declines (Welcome to retirement, Baby Boomers!)

Government encroaches upon more and more of our lives–from big business bail-outs to increasing government regulation of every part of our business and leisure to ill-conceived public welfare programs.

Within a generation (or less), American freedom may be little more than a footnote in history–a brief age in line with Greek democracy. Freedom in America, and perhaps around the world, will have died in slavery while moderates beg for small solutions.

We are selling ourselves into slavery (…the borrower is the slave of the lender.” Prov 22:7)

Now is no time for moderation, I say. Now is a time for drastic measures.

We must halt our spending. We must cut our spending. We cannot merely make motions towards fiscal responsibility, we must cut our losses and RUN toward fiscal responsibility.

No compromise budget will do for me. Give me something radical–something like the Tea Party Budget.

The Week in WordsDon’t forget to take a look at Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (November)

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Second month in a row, I forget the Nightstand. Honestly?

But I just took back a slew of books, among them, these:

Adult Fiction

  • Nerve Damage by Peter Abrahams
    I never imagined I would become a fan of suspensish novels–but I’m enjoying Peter Abrahams on my way through the library. This one involves a sculptor whose wife died many years ago in a helicopter accident and… I really can’t say more.
  • Room by Emma Donoghue
    This was on my TBR list for quite a while based on a review I read somewhere (but don’t know where since I switched computers and lost all my bookmarks halfway through), but I hadn’t been able to get it at the library. Now I know why. Wow. This is a stunning novel.
  • Mr. Knightley’s Diary by Amanda Grange
    A retelling of Jane Austen’s Emma from Mr. Knightley’s perspective. Except that Mr. Knightley’s perspective as indicated in this novel gives absolutely no new information or, er, perspective on the story. I read it, I didn’t dislike it, I don’t really recommend it.
  • The Beloved Land by Janette Oke and T. Davis Bunn
    A very nice conclusion to Oke and Bunn’s Song of Acadia series. And, I think, a conclusion to my reading of Oke (except that my library maybe has a copy of something she wrote with her daughter?)

Adult Non-fiction

  • Everyday Icon: Michelle Obama and the Power of Style by Kate Betts
    Michelle Obama is a pretty lady. Usually, she dresses well. I enjoyed the pictures in this book. I did not enjoy Betts’ adulatory insistence that Mrs. Obama is somehow the savior of fashion in our day. Yes, my politics (and disgust for Mrs. Obama’s use of her daughters in her childhood obesity initiative) colors my perceptions. But even when I’m trying my hardest to be objective, this still seems over-the-top in trying to present Mrs. Obama as the better-than-Jackie-Kennedy.
  • There is a God by Antony Flew
    Renowned (formerly atheist) philosopher, well known for stating that the “burden of proof” for the existence of God rests on theists, writes about the proofs that changed his mind. A bit laborious when dealing with Flew’s atheistic days, this book gets very interesting when Flew starts outlining the philosophical arguments that convinced him that there must be a God.

Juvenile Fiction

  • Into the Dark by Peter Abrahams
    Sequel to Down the Rabbit Hole, another good juvenile suspense novel. I liked it.
  • Pure by Terra Elan McVoy
    Tabitha and her four best friends (that part plagiarized from the book jacket) are bound by the rings they all wear: purity rings. Some got them from their fathers, one from her brother, one from her best friend–but the rings all mean one thing, a commitment to keep oneself a virgin. But then Tabitha’s best friend loses her ring and another of the girl loses what the ring stands for–and suddenly the world falls apart. The Christianity Tabitha practices in this book is certainly a more liberal version than I practice–but all five of the girls’ beliefs and practices (which turn out to be rather different) are dealt with sympathetically. This was a novel worth reading.
  • Calvin Coconut: Dog Heave by Graham Salisbury
    As discussed in my armchair fail post..
  • The Castle Mystery created by Gertrude Chandler Warner

Wanna hear my excuse for almost missing this post? I posted it earlier this morning–I was on a roof.

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Homemaking

In which I scale a roof

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During certain seasons, it seems like I spend a lot of time explaining why I’m NOT blogging. This is definitely one of those seasons.

My most recent excuse?

I’ve been climbing roofs.

Me on the Roof

When we rented this house last November, the gutters were full of leaves.

Me on the Roof

I realized that something need to be done this spring when my mower revealed a ridge in the ground along the north side of the house where the water cascaded from the roof directly onto the soil below rather than being caught in the gutters and funneled to drainspouts.

The roof as of last year

I knew something really needed to be done this summer when I saw that there was a corn plant (yes, a corn plant) growing from the valley between the main roof and the roof over the garage. (BTW, that last picture was of the house right after we rented it–before those leaves composted and this summer’s corn plant and other weeds grew and this year’s leaves collected on top of it.)

This weekend, thanks to an extension ladder and pickup borrowed from Jon, I got the gutters cleaned out and Anna got half the yard raked and those leaves hauled.

Lessons learned from the adventure?

  1. Aluminum gutters make great planters.
    Fill them full of leaves, let them sit until the leaves are composted, add seeds blown on the wind–voila!
  2. Women who intend to spend much time on a ladder should invest in an extra fat layer.
    I have bruises on my hipbones and ribs where said parts rested on the ladder.
  3. Wooden shingles + moss = Slippery.
    Thank God for jeans and leather gloves. Would you believe that those (and the grace of God) were the only thing keeping me on the roof?
  4. The toughest part of working on a roof is getting off of and back onto the ladder.
    I had to yell for someone to come steady the ladder while I mounted and dismounted.
  5. Yard work today = Awful allergies tomorrow.
    My voice was pretty much gone. I had to defer resident interviews after unsuccessful attempts to speak loud enough for them to hear.
Categories Books

Armchair Fail

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So remember how I said I was arm-chairing the Cybils this year?

Yeah. About that.

I failed to do my research on what Cybils-nominated books my library owned prior to my last visit–and therefore spent 15 minutes on the “Express” internet-accessible computer frantically writing down author last names and the first few letters of the middle-grade fiction nominations. Then I spent the next half an hour or so running through the juvenile fiction stacks trying to locate the books. After eliminating from my list several dozen books that the library DIDN’T OWN, I finally arrived at one that it DID own.

I brought home Calvin Coconut: Dog Heaven (by Graham Salisbury) and read it right off.

Calvin is a third-grader (or maybe fourth grader?) who has been given a writing assignment–write an essay about something he wants so badly he can TASTE it, and try to convince Mr. Purdy that he should get it.

Calvin knows exactly what he wants–but the difficult thing isn’t convincing Mr. PURDY. It’s convincing his MOM that she should let him get a dog (even though their live-in helper might be allergic to dogs.)

I enjoyed this book, although I was a bit stunned by how young it seemed. The reading level and the plot are both even simpler than the Boxcar Children which I used to think were the simplest “real” chapter books imaginable. Obviously, I was wrong.

The other thing that I was wrong about was…whether Calvin Coconut: Dog Heaven was nominated for the Cybils.

I just took a look at the Cybils website and discovered that it was not Calvin Coconut: Dog Heaven but Calvin Coconut: Hero of Hawaii that had been nominated for the Cybils.

Yep, that’s right. Should have written down more than just the first couple of words of the title.

So, I have not managed to read any Cybils nominated titles since signing up for the challenge (although I did notice that Close to Famous, which I read and enjoyed a couple of months ago, is on the list of Middle Grade Cybils nominees.)

So there you have it. My Cybils Armchair fail.

What have I learned from the process? Figure out which Cybils nominees your library has and request them before your visit to avoid mix-ups.

If you want to read more Armchair Cybils posts (from readers who ostensibly actually read Cybils nominated books), check out Amy’s November link-up.

On a vaguely related note, I was so distracted by writing my Sunday School lesson and writing a Systematic Theology paper and working on a project for 2012 this weekend that I forgot to renew my library books. I got the overdue notice in my e-mail inbox this morning. Yeah, so at $0.35 per book per day for 3 days with over a hundred books… That’d make a great story problem for your kids, homeschool moms. For me? It’s my discretionary spending for the month. Budget fail!