Bat Dreams

The music was on, the bedroom was ready to accept coats. Everything was in order, but only one coworker had shown up. I was starting to get nervous–this was, after all, a work Christmas party.

My sister threw open the door and flashed on the lights. I woke with a start.

Oh no–I was late for work. I’d overslept.

I glanced at the clock.

4 am.

No I hadn’t overslept.

“How long have you been awake?” Anna asked.

I was absolutely bewildered. I hadn’t been awake. I’d been dreaming of Christmas parties.

“Can you help me catch a bat?”

The story spilled out. Apparently, Anna had been awakened some time earlier by a whirring sound in her bedroom. I guess she’d started yelling when she realized it was a bat–which is why she’d assumed I’d be awake.

At any rate, I threw on some clothing (extra covering necessary lest said bat be rabid and attempting to bite) and went to catch a bat.

By then, the bat had ceased flying about–and we had a difficult time finding it.

I’d searched the entirety of Anna’s bedroom floor before Anna found it curled up in the track on which the windows slid. It was a motionless ball smaller than a mouse.

Perhaps it was dead, I thought. Which was rather a frightening proposition. If so, we’d have to save it and take it in for rabies testing.

My hands clad in oven mitts, I draped a towel over the semi-prone figure. A whirr of movement I could barely feel beneath the towel and my oven mitts indicated that the bat was still alive.

Now to extract the creature for its cubby.

This was the hard part. I couldn’t feel much through the clumsy oven mitts–and even the towel by itself was difficult to maneuver. The bat was snuggled in between two little runners. How could I get it out without squeezing it to death?

I sent Anna out for a ruler. When she returned, I slid the thin metal ruler under the bat and gently lifted it up, enfolding the ruler and all into my towel.

Outside, some distance from the house, I laid down my package and unwrapped it, standing ready for the animal to fly away.

A few moments and it took off. I dropped my used towels and oven mitts into the washing machine, checked my sister for bite marks (there were none) and made my way back into the world of dreams.


Unknown Unknowns

“…as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
~Donald Rumsfeld

Apparently people deride Donald Rumsfeld for his categorization of the world into known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.

I don’t know what they’re smoking.

I feel that those classifications are perfectly apt–and they’re precisely the reason why I’m antsy right now.

I have known knowns: I know certain strengths and weaknesses in my education, in my charting or careplanning ability. I know how I’ve assessed and intervened in various situations.

Then I have known unknowns: I know that certain routes of communication are weaker than others, leaving opportunity for small errors. I know that there are people I have had less contact with than others. I know what people haven’t been looked at in depth for greater amounts of time.

But then there are the unknown unknowns. I have no clue about these.

There are things that I could be missing because I just don’t know–and I could not even know that I don’t know them.

Paul says that the one who does good need not fear the authorities (Romans 13:3); but what of the one who is doing the best she can (or thinks she is doing the best she can) but who simply cannot know everything–or even the finite brand of everything state surveyors might look at?

The tension of this week is whether I can trust God with not only the known knowns and the known unknowns but with the unknown unknowns.

Can I trust Him to provide despite my weakness? Can I trust Him to help me provide the best care possible to my residents? Can I trust Him if I should learn something that crushes my pride as a dietitian?

I don’t know. That’s an unknown unknown.

I’m trying to learn to trust.

And I suppose that’s all I can do.


Snapshot: Kissing Toads

Something was moving along my peripheral vision as I mowed the stretch beside the garage. Was it a mouse? I wondered.

I stopped mowing (easy to do with an old-fashioned mower where you don’t have to worry about stopping and starting a mower) and investigated further.

Silly me. That was no mouse. That was clearly a toad hopping along.

Toad

Why did I decide to leave my camera inside?

Oh right, because I almost lost my lens cap the last time I tried the “mow with a camera around my neck” routine.

Still, it was clearly a poor decision.

I repented my camera-leaving sin and returned, certain that the toad would be gone.

I was wrong.

I took shot after shot, struggling to focus on the toad amidst the bramble of weeds and hailed-out daffodils.

Toad

Mr. Toad mustn’t have liked my flash, because he hopped right out to where the lighting was more agreeable.

He posed happily against the garage for several shots, before coming out into the center of the patio to sunbathe a bit.

Toad

I was broken from my toad-fancying reverie by the whir of a boat on the lake.

What a sight I must have been to the boaters! Tush in the air, head to the ground, abandoned lawnmower in the yard.

But I got some good pictures of the princely toad.

Unfortunately, he isn’t likely to be in my age range.

Toad

**The life expectancy of the American toad (according to this source) is around 5-10 years. Definitely too young for me. **


Marriagable Age Calculator

Do you have trouble trying to figure out what age range to enter in your e-Harmony match preferences?

Maybe you have trouble figuring out how low you can go without being a “cougar” (Rahr!)

Then again, perhaps you’re a friend of a single man and a single woman–but you’re not sure whether you can set them up because of the age difference between them.

Well, I have just the thing for you.

This handy calculator can tell you exactly what age range you (or one of your single friends) can marry within.

Just enter your age (or your friend’s age) and click submit.

Your Age:
Youngest:
Oldest:

Voila–no more guesswork, no more wondering whether your decision is appropriate. Either he (she) is within the range or he (she) isn’t.

**Please be aware that this calculator was created using the highly scientific process of… well, either I read the formula somewhere or I imagined it up myself. One of those two. Then, of course, I turned it into a javascript calculator using this handy calculator tutorial from About.com**

***You will note that this calculator does not allow you to enter an age below 18 or above 120. This is because the formula does not allow marriage below age 18 (an element that definitely suggests that the formula is an invention of my own mind rather than someone else’s)–and because one has to cut off the calculator somewhere!***

****For those interested in setting me up–I am most certainly interested. I have a nice wide range. To see it, enter “26” in the above calculator :-)****


Snapshot: Dog Stabbers

My family has a long history of weenie-roasts (bonfires with hot-dogs, for those who don’t know.)

We had a weenie roast every 4th of July at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm. And every 4th of July we’d carefully select our homemade, wire-twisted roasting stick from the dozens hanging on Grandma and Grandpa’s tree.

I’m not sure exactly when we started calling the weenie-roasting sticks “dog-stabbers”, but I do know who sparked the trend: Aunt Martha (of course).

Since that fateful (undated) day, they have been called nothing else.

Dog Stabber

Friday night, a group of us girls invited ourselves over to a friend’s house for a bonfire–and I realized that, for once, I would have a dog-stabber and a dog in close proximity.

Thus, the picture.

For the record, Jersey (the dog) was not hurt in the making of that photo. In fact, no dogs except the already dead Verdigree weenies or Wimmers Natural Casing Weiners ever are.

Jersey, the dog

A great thank you to Jon for preparing a bonfire and (relatively) skeeter free yard for us–and for joining us for conversation around the bonfire (despite an early morning the next day.) And to Kathy, for welcoming our impromptu suggestion of a bonfire (and providing a dog to be stabbed!)


Him and his bride

He saw me playing with my fancy new camera, showing my dad its features.

He asked me if I could take some pictures of him and his bride.

Grandma and Grandpa

This September will mark their 60th Anniversary.

Grandma and Grandpa

Grandpa tells me he doesn’t think he’ll die before that one.

Grandma and Grandpa

I tell him he’d better not.


When I feel undesirable…

I now know just what to do.

I shall take a bike ride alongside the Loup River as the evening starts to cool.

I shall bring along my camera (a Canon Rebel XS, since you were wondering, Janet!)

I shall stop every so often to take pictures.

Apparently, I’m VERY desirable.

Unfortunately, I’ve always been somewhat good at attracting suckers.

I’ve probably caught West Nile.


My Covetous Heart

We were sitting on the dock, our feet in the water, discussing The Greener Grass Conspiracy.

I was telling her that I feel like I’m in one of those odd moments in life when I feel content.

In other words, my whole being is not currently burning for a husband, a house, or children. (My three favorite idols.)

I’m content, I say.

Until I realize how many things I’m still not quite content about.

I haven’t quite finished building my brand-new computer–but already, I’m wishing I could have justified another 4 GB of memory, a new hard drive instead of a recycled one. Already I’m questioning my decision to not buy a copy of Microsoft Office and to instead go with the FreeWare OpenOffice.

I’m the owner of a brand new camera, one I haven’t even begun to discover the features of–and already, I’m wishing I had more time in which to play with it. I’m wishing I were a bird-watcher like Janet and could take such beautiful photos of birds.

Duck and ducklings in lake

But even when I snap pictures of a mother duck with her little ducklings, out for a swim in the twilight, I am still not content.

Oh my discontent, my covetous heart!

Stephen Altrogge speaks truth when he says:

“The raging, covetous, discontented desires come from within. They’re not the product of my circumstances, and the desires won’t be satisfied when circumstances change.”

Because my covetous heart just finds another thing to envy.

So, Lord, may I seek contentment–and find contentment–in You, rather than in any circumstance, whether good or bad.


Snapshot: A Philosopher’s Toothache

After putting together my new computer, I plugged in the power cord and pressed the power button and heard…

Nothing.

Nothing whatsoever was happening.

Except that I smelled something burning.

I suspected the power supply, since it had smelled awful from the moment I took it out of the box (Can you tell I’m a food person? My first guess of something gone wrong is an off odor!)

So I tested the power supply, using the directions given–“shorting” the system with a paper clip.

Shorting my power supply

That wasn’t it.

I reconnected the power supply to the mainboard, turned the power on again, and discovered my problem.

A circuit in the upper right corner of the board was glowing and stinking.

A short, this one decidedly undesirable.

I couldn’t do anything about it just then and it was late and I was already exhausted, so I turned off the light and went down to bed feeling rather sorry for myself.

Then I began to think of how a friend’s troubles far outweigh mine, and how I’d been contemplating her struggles earlier and internally urging her to trust God–

Benedick’s words from “Much Ado About Nothing” popped into my head:

“There was never yet a philosopher
that could endure the toothache patiently.”


Snapshot: Overnight Bags

Most people, when returning to their place of origin for an overnight stay, pack an overnight bag.

I am not most people.

Here’s what I took for my overnight stay:

My trunk

  • My sewing machine
  • My sewing box
  • My cutting board
  • No less than six small baskets of fabric
  • A crate of books to be returned to the library
  • My work computer (just in case, PLEASE NO!)
  • A side of beef for my parents
  • No less than a half dozen books still to be read
  • My usual bag of Bible, notebooks, novels, and the like
  • An overnight bag

That’d be me.