Wedding

Categories Marriage, Wedding

I don’t want to forget

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Two years ago today was a momentous day – one I’ll never forget.

I say that, but the truth is, I’ve already started to forget so much about my wedding day. The sermon, the toasts, the greetings of friends. If I don’t have written record or pictorial proof, chances are I’ve already started to forget – with no way to reclaim those moments.

Which is why, here, on our second anniversary, I want to record the details I most don’t want to forget.

I don’t want to forget…

…the people

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My girlfriends helping me dress, bustling on the other side of the hall to prepare a luncheon for the party. The surprising arrival of my brother and his pregnant wife and daughter. Skyping with my other brother, halfway around the world, before the day began. My family, doing what my family does best – making things happen. Extended family arriving in great swaths. People from church in Columbus, from church in Lincoln, from my childhood church. My teammates from the Jacksonville Summer Training Program. Charlotte, who knew us both when, telling me in the receiving line: “You and Daniel – if only I’d have thought of it sooner.”

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All of them expressing their support, rejoicing in God’s provision, rooting for our marriage.

…the promises
I lightly adapted the text from The Book of Common Prayer for our order of service. I answered “I will” when our pastor asked me if I would “take Daniel to be your husband, to live with him in holy marriage according to the Word of God? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, obey him, and keep him in sickness and in health and, forsaking all others, be wife to him as long as you both shall live?”

I promised God that day that I would be wife to Daniel. I promised to live with him in holy marriage, not a secular union. To love him, to comfort him, to honor him, to obey him.

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I made a solemn vow before God and the congregation:

“I, Rebekah, take you, Daniel, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part. To this, I pledge you my faithfulness.”

I want to remember those promises. I want to keep those promises.

…the Preeminence
It’s normal to have Scripture readings and songs at a wedding. It’s normal for these readings and songs to elevate love, to proclaim love’s worth, to delight in love.

And believe me, Daniel and I enjoy love.

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But we wanted our wedding to elevate something else. But that’s not quite right either. We wanted our wedding to elevate someone else.

We chose Colossians 1:15-23 for a reading:

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.”

We sang two congregational hymns – one looking backward at the faithfulness of God (“Great is Thy Faithfulness”), one looking forward, petitioning God to be before us (Be Thou My Vision).

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Because we didn’t want our wedding prayer to be all about us. We didn’t want our marriage to be all about us. We wanted our marriage to be all about Christ.

I never want to forget that. I always want to live that. I want that day’s passion for Christ’s preeminence to be every day’s passion.

Categories Wedding

Wedding Whens and Wheres, Part 2

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In my previous post about wedding whens and wheres, I realize that I missed two parts. The time of day for our wedding and the place for our reception.

I don’t think determining the time of day for our wedding was particularly difficult for us. I grew up attending my aunts’ and uncles’ wedding (my mom was the second married of 12 children and I attended the weddings of at least 7 aunts and uncles during my childhood years)–and our family pattern was an early afternoon wedding with a reception immediately following in the church fellowship hall. Daytime weddings are traditional for our family.

Furthermore, as a college student and after, I’d attended many an evening wedding and mused at how worn out the bride and groom must be when they finally reach their honeymoon (or overnight) location. I was NOT eager to have my first night with my groom be one of exhausted irritability.

We chose a 1:30 wedding with a (short) reception immediately following.

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Lincoln Meadows was fairly nondescript–and we didn’t do much to fancy it up, just flowers on the tables. But it fit everyone and let us cater ourselves–which was pretty much what I was looking for.

Once we had our ceremony site in place, we had to choose a site for our wedding reception. We couldn’t have it in the church fellowship hall, since the hall can only comfortably seat maybe 80 people. Variable weather in Nebraska in March meant outdoors wasn’t an option–so we had to find ourselves a reception hall.

We had some definite constraints:

  • The hall had to be available on March 9
  • The hall had to seat at least two hundred people
  • The hall had to have space for two hundred people to PARK (since our wedding was on the same day that Lincoln was hosting Nebraska’s Boys State basketball tournament)
  • The hall had to let us self-cater or, at the very least, allow us to bring in an outside caterer (because I’m uber-cheap)

I did internet searches for places, called for availability, and was left with exactly two potential places–one of which seemed definitely the better pick.

Since I wasn’t in Lincoln, I phoned the hall to figure out logistics and then sent my mom down to scope out the hall and reserve it.

Sign on the Reception Hall

When my mom went to the hall the morning of our wedding, the sign still bore the names of the previous couple. She contacted the hall, and by the time we got there the names had been changed

And that was that.

What: Wedding
When: 1:30 pm Saturday March 9, 2013
Where: Lincoln Christian Fellowship and Lincoln Meadows Social Hall

I made it down to Lincoln one weekend and my mom took me out to the place to peek in the windows–but otherwise, the first time I saw our reception location was when I arrived there to decorate the day before the wedding.

Despite all that, it turned out great. The only downside had nothing at all to do with the reception site and everything to do with my own lack of preparation.

I had mentioned the need for some sort of sound system in conversations with my folks but hadn’t followed up on it or made definite arrangements to have a microphone and speakers so our host could direct the reception activities more easily.

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Daniel’s best man toasts us near the bar. (I tried to see if they’d let us go completely without a bar, but that wasn’t an option. So a bartender was there but we didn’t really advertise that it was available–which meant they maybe made a half dozen sales, max. Eh :-P)
Categories Wedding

Wedding Whens and Wheres

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The first decision in planning a wedding is either when or where, depending on how long you intend your engagement to be and how tightly your ceremony and reception venues schedule.

Daniel and I decided our when when we decided to get married. We were searching for any way to get married before summer (of 2013) and arrived at Spring Break.

Even so, we did end up making some adjustments. Both of my sisters-in-law happened to be pregnant at the time, one due in April and the other in May–and we wanted them to be able to be there if at all possible. Having our wedding one Saturday before the first Saturday of Spring Break would give Debbie 3 weeks rather than 2 before her due date–which just might be the difference between them making it or not. Furthermore, the first Saturday of Spring Break happened to be my brother John’s anniversary–and Daniel’s nephew’s birthday. It would be better for us to get married the week before.

Lincoln Christian Fellowship

The church building I grew up in–for as long as I can remember, I attended the big white and red trimmed church out in Airpark

That set, we needed to determine our wheres.

It wasn’t that hard to decide on Lincoln as our wedding location. Both of our parents live in Lincoln–and since much of my extended family and friends live north of Lincoln and many of Daniel’s extended family and friends live south of Lincoln, it made Lincoln a good central location.

Our next consideration was whether to get married at my parents’ church, at Daniel’s parents’ church, or somewhere else entirely.

Daniel was pretty open to going somewhere else entirely, but frugality and sentimentality won the day.

I practically grew up at 4111 NW 44th Street. I attended services and midweek Bible Studies at Rejoice in the Lord Church every week from the time I was born until Rejoice in the Lord closed its doors when I was eleven. Rejoice gave the building to Lincoln Christian Fellowship, who rented it to a little school (which I attended for a year) in the couple of years before LCFs congregation moved out there. My family, of course, transitioned straight from Rejoice in the Lord to Lincoln Christian Fellowship with barely a hiccup.

Lincoln Christian Fellowship Sign

Back when this was Rejoice in the Lord, I remember running endless circles with one of my hands around this sign’s posts

I was in that building at least once a week (but more often 3 or 4 times a week) up to age 22 when I moved away from Lincoln.

You could say there’s some history between me and there.

I called the pastor, asked about availability on March 9th, about cost to rent the building.

It was free on both counts, for me.

We took it.

Daniel and I say our vows

Daniel and I say our vows–under the same cross that saw me baptized and under which I took my first communion