Can anyone else feel the hunger, or is it just me?
I’ve battled with discontent for almost a year now–chronicling some of my struggle on-line. But this is a different discontent, a rustling ache in my belly. This is a cry from deep within proclaiming “There must be more.”
Just today, it struck me with a vengeance–gnawing away at my insides. “This isn’t what life was meant to be. There has to be something more.”
Not more talking. Not more doing. Not more meetings. Not more books. Not more blogging. Not more cleaning.
More Christ.
Surely I was not born to keep up with the laundry. I was not created to fill a seat in the service. My purpose is not to do dishes. I was not placed on this earth to teach people how to eat.
These things are all things that I do, but I cannot be satisfied with the doing of this life.
Discontent strikes me, but this time it is not a desire for more things or different circumstances. This time it is a desire for more of God. I desire that I would walk daily–no even more, moment-by-moment–in relationship with Him. I desire that He would penetrate every ounce of my existance to the point that my doing dishes would be worship. I want to be so consumed by Him that He overflows into every aspect of my life–work, church, school, friends, family, blogging, crafting, cleaning, filling my car with gas.
I want to live an “other” life. Not “my” life, consumed by my worries. An “other” life, consumed by the glory of God, glorifying Christ, being led by the Holy Spirit.
A holy discontent. A discontent with mediocrity. A discontent with living without reference to Christ. I’ve caught a discontent, I know not where–but I pray I’ll never lose this hunger.
Hunger for God.
On 02.09.09 – 8:42 am
Casandra said:
Rebekah Love,
I have tears threatening to fill my eyes as I read this post. My God is so incredibly faithful! Your God is so incredibly faithful! It seems like the entire time we have known each other we go through much the same thing at much the same time – in totally different ways. That hasn’t really happened much recently, but I think God is stirring up a hunger for Him within our church body that cannot be humanly measured.
I mentioned to you yesterday, on the way to Life Group, that I can not even adequately express the things God is doing in my life and in my heart. My whole perspective is changing, my whole ideal of what life means and what happiness looks like is shifting.
The things that brought satisfaction before no longer do. I can’t be content closing myself in my room and watching a moive when everyone else is together and I can’t be with them. I have to now find my contentment engrossed in either God’s word or a good book.
Jesus Christ as servant has never been more real to me. Jesus loving me even when I bring Him pain has never been more real to me. The SATISFACTION that Jesus brings has never EVER been so real to me.
As I mentioned last night, I honestly wonder how we could have lived, prior to this knowledge and this overflow of desire for God, and ever called it “living”.
I pray God will stir up in both of us this hunger we desire. I have never craved God like I crave God right now. I never want to lose this craving. I want to DIE with this craving.
I love you! Let us lock arms, be marvelous comrades, and stir each other up to love and good deeeds – and an unquenchable appetite for God!
On 02.09.09 – 11:27 am
Grace Menter said:
Yay! Hunger for God is a really good thing! It’s only when we hunger that we can truly appreciate being filled. Like yesterday I was really thirsty all day…When I got home I filled a big cup full of ice and water…and I sucked it down and it felt SOOOO good… I then went downstairs and read my bible for the next three hours and I totally had a drinking water moment in my spirit. It was pretty schweet.