bekahcubed

Categories Faith, Pregnancy

Compare and Contrast: Pregnancy Edition

2 Comments by

There are many parts of this pregnancy that have been similar to the last pregnancy.

…with both pregnancies, I’ve been told I look small
This never ceases to surprise me, since I feel anything but small – and since I’m now topping 200 lbs (up a little over 30 lbs this time vs. 60 lbs at this same point last time, but still around the same end weight.) This time though, there might be a little something to what people are saying, since both my OB and my midwife have consistently noted that my uterus is “measuring small”. An ultrasound to check that everything was okay put baby exactly where he should be for my calculated due date.

…with both pregnancies, I’ve never had a worry about baby’s health
Tirzah Mae was active in the womb from about 20 weeks until the day she was born, poking and jabbing and prodding. This little one is active at all times as well – but his movement is so different than hers it’s like experiencing pregnancy again for the first time. This little one specializes in stretching – pushing a limb into my abdominal wall and just…dragging it along. It is this, I think, that makes me feel like this baby is so much bigger and farther along than Tirzah Mae ever was (no, we haven’t reached that point yet.)

…with both pregnancies, I’ve gained a lot of fluid weight
I started retaining fluid in my feet and ankles around 22 weeks with Tirzah Mae. With this pregnancy, it wasn’t until our trip to Lincoln for my sister’s wedding last weekend that I could tell for sure that my legs were full of fluid – but the fluid came on suddenly and has stuck around, with pitting edema at least to my calves for the past week. Even so, my fluid gain has been 1-3 lbs per day (versus the whopping 7 lb weight gain in one day that convinced me that something was going seriously wrong with my pregnancy with Tirzah Mae.) And I generally lose about the same amount of fluid overnight, for a much less drastic overall weight gain :-)

…with both pregnancies, my blood pressure has risen
Years ago, a heart specialist diagnosed my dizziness problem as orthostatic hypotension – a fancy term to signify that my blood pressure dropped too low when I changed positions. He told me pregnancy was the best cure. Little could he have known how much pregnancy would turn out to affect my blood pressure. With Tirzah Mae, I experienced hypertensive crisis – my bottom number was 160, a value that’s bad if it’s the TOP number. With this pregnancy, my blood pressure has risen such that I have been in the pre-hypertensive range on about half of my twice-daily checks over the past week.

But even as I list out the similarities, one glaring difference stands out.

…with this pregnancy, I have an acute sense of what could go wrong – and a peace that supersedes it all
I had plenty of fears while I was pregnant with Tirzah Mae. I feared pre-eclampsia, a hospital birth, a c-section, interventions, loss of control. I barely knew what any of those might be like – and I feared them. Then I experienced them – and, you know, I’d do anything I could to avoid them this second time around. But with the intimate knowledge of what severe pre-eclampsia and hospital birth, c-section and loss of control look like, I’ve also gained an intimate knowledge of what God’s grace looks like amidst my worst fears. And that’s why, while I’ve occasionally been afraid I’d become afraid, I haven’t. My mind and heart are aware of the possibilities, want to avoid the worst scenarios, but I don’t fear them. I have walked through the waters and He has been there – will He not be there if I am called to walk through the fire?

A week ago, I was in Lincoln, Nebraska, standing as a bridesmaid for my little sister on her wedding day. At that same point in my pregnancy with Tirzah Mae, I was being wheeled around Virginia in a wheelchair – knowing that something was already seriously wrong with my pregnancy.

This weekend, I was at home in Wichita, walking along the Arkansas River. At that same point in my pregnancy with Tirzah Mae, I was being admitted to the hospital – my OB expected we’d have a baby within 24 hours (we didn’t, but that’s another story).

Saturday afternoon, reflecting on the momentousness of reaching the point where I’d been hospitalized with Tirzah Mae, I wrote the following on Facebook:

At this point in my last pregnancy, I was vomiting into a bedpan while hooked to a million machines. Today, I took a walk along the swollen Arkansas river, sat on a rock with my husband at the Keeper of the Plains and talked about life and our goals for our family, pushed our daughter on a swing, visited the library, and came home to relax and read.

Both days are miracles, small and big evidences of God’s grace.

Lots of people asked me about my health, about this pregnancy while we were in Lincoln for my sister’s wedding last weekend. I shared, honestly, that this pregnancy is going much better than the last one. Which is not to say that this pregnancy is going perfectly or that we are out of the woods – but I didn’t bring that up then, not wanting to put a cloud of uncertainty over my sister’s special day.

Almost to a person, friends responded to my cheerful report with “Praise God” or another similar expression of worship.

And I agree. Praise God that I am walking when the last time I was in a wheelchair. Praise God that I am at home today when the last time I was hospitalized by now.

But please, praise God if I am hospitalized this time around. Praise God if our baby enters the world through my cut abdomen instead of the normal route we so desire. Praise God if this baby is early and suffers some of the debilitating consequences Tirzah Mae escaped. Praise God if this baby dies. Praise God if I should die.

Please, praise God with me for this pregnancy and the last – because in everything that has happened and in everything that will happen, He is absolutely good, absolutely sovereign, and absolutely worthy of praise.

Please, join me in rejoicing as I experience this part of pregnancy I’ve never experienced before: a third trimester at home instead of in the hospital. And please, join in me in trusting that however long or short this third trimester will be, God is sovereign and God is good.

And whether the Lord gives or the Lord takes away, may our cry forever be: Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Categories Parenting

Riding an Elephant

2 Comments by

Going to Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo was an at-least-annual part of my childhood.

We’d load into the car some Saturday morning, singing Dad’s ditty:

“Going to the zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo
Zoo, zoo, zoo, zoo
Beeps and bonks and squeaks and sqwanks.”

We’d arrive at Grandma Menter’s in Bellevue in time for lunch at noon – except that, while Grandma Menter was an excellent cook, she was not excellent at multitasking, which meant that lunch was generally around two.

Tirzah Mae and Papa check out the cow and calf
Tirzah Mae and Papa check out the cow and calf

This didn’t bother us much (that I remember), since we had cousins to play with and 7-Up to drink.

Except that myself, my sister, and the cousin who falls exactly between us in age REALLY wanted to ride the elephants.

As I remember it, elephant rides were available until 3 pm – but since lunch was always at 2, we were never at the zoo in time for elephants.

Other times, we’d go with Grandma to the in-zoo cafe, which meant we were there earlier – but then we’d have to trek through the Leid Jungle, and would yet again miss the elephant rides.

Tirzah Mae and Mama pet a sheep
Tirzah Mae and Mama pet a sheep

A couple of months ago, a plane left Swaziland with sixteen elephants on board. The elephants were bound for Dallas, for the Sedgwick County Zoo (in Wichita), and for Omaha’s Henry Doorly Zoo.

The departure was rather a story because some environmental groups were trying to block the transport and the zoos opted to sedate the elephants and load them up for transport without a permit in order to force the issue (they were successful at doing so.)

Tirzah Mae and Mama with an Orangutan statue
Tirzah Mae and Mama with an orangutan statue

I followed the story with interest, partly because it’s Wichita news – and partly because it’s Henry Doorly news. And partly because I never got to ride those elephants.

I still haven’t ridden the elephants (I rather doubt that’s at all d’jour in today’s conservation efforts) – but thanks to Daniel’s employer, our family has gone to see Wichita’s six new elephants.

We spent the afternoon on Sunday at the Sedgwick County Zoo, where we petted the goats and sheep (one got out while we were at the gate!) and where Tirzah Mae clucked and crowed and quacked at hundreds of different bird species.

Tirzah Mae is enamored with large birds
Tirzah Mae is enamored with large birds

And we saw the elephants, two weeks before the exhibit opens to the public.

Tirzah Mae inspects the elephant
Tirzah Mae inspects the elephant

I don’t know that Tirzah Mae was enamoured with the elephants. She was already tired by the time we got to the exhibit – and elephants, unlike birds, are entirely outside of her realm of experience).

But I loved seeing the elephants ambling about their spacious enclosures.

Tirzah Mae and Mama enjoy the elephant
Tirzah Mae and Mama enjoy the elephant

It almost resigns me to not having been able to ride the elephants. Almost.

Categories Everyday Life

Pushing RESET

3 Comments by

An acquaintance asked what I did beyond parenting a toddler and gestating an unborn baby – and I had no idea how to answer. What do I do beyond those things? Do I do anything beyond those things?

I feed myself and Tirzah Mae multiple times a day (parenting, gestating). I put Tirzah Mae down for naps while counting kicks and practicing relaxation to improve my chances of a successful VBAC attempt (parenting, gestating). I exercise daily while attempting not to step on my daughter who is underfoot (parenting, gestating.)

Yeah, I pretty much parent and gestate.

The things I used to do, for fun or leisure or work, now have to be worked around the parenting and gestating gigs.

And parenting and gestating haven’t been offering me any opportunities to sit down lately.

I still read books, while marching in place or while doing planks or pelvic rocks (more active woman = less risk of preeclampsia, more acive woman = increased chance of successful VBAC attempt). Occasionally, I read books while bathing if I happen to delay bathing until Tirzah Mae’s nap time.

I still read blogs, sort of. I read them on my phone while waiting for one of our meals or snacks to heat in the microwave or for the toast to pop in the toaster. Or (if I don’t have a bed to make or clothes to lay out or something to sweep up or wipe up or pick up) while I’m waiting for my bathwater to finish running or when I’m otherwise unavoidably delayed in the bathroom (ahem.)

Usually I have just enough time to skim headlines and “mark unread” blog posts from my friends. You know, all those blog posts that I intend to go back and read and comment on when I have time to actually read them and comment on them. Sometime when I’ve got more than 50 seconds to pay attention to them.

If I’m particularly caught up, I whittle my feedly down to 95 or a hundred unread articles by the end of the day – and all 95 to 100 are posts by friends. Posts I want to take my time with. Posts I want to read carefully. Posts I want to comment on.

But there’s no time to sit down and take my time with them, so those 95 posts languish.

Until last week, when I accidentally pressed something and those posts went away.

For a brief moment before new posts started filtering in, my feedly “unread posts” equalled zero.

It was a hard reset – and, so far as I know, there’s no way to undo it.

I thought about getting upset about it, but then decided against that course of action.

Instead, I’m going to embrace the reset. I’m going to consider it a do-over.

Like the FlyLady says, “You are not behind.”

I am not behind.

I am right where I need to be, taking care of my daughter, taking care of my home and my husband, caring for myself and our unborn child.

And if I happen to ever find an uninterrupted 15 minutes to sit down at my computer, I’ll take those blog posts by friends day by day without worrying about trying to catch up on the past months.

Sometimes we need to push RESET – and sometimes we need to embrace the RESET when it’s offered.

That’s what I’m going to try to do.

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (April 2016)

2 Comments by

The document once entitled “A Catalogue of All I’ve Read Since September 5, 2006” has grown too large to be easily accessed and is now split up into over a dozen individual spreadsheet files, helpfully subdivided into even more sheets within the document. This is the comprehensive list, with call numbers and author names and the dates I finished books (as well as whether the particular category into which the book falls is “open” or “closed”.) The spreadsheets work well to record whether and when I read a particular book – but they’re less helpful in recording my thoughts on the books. For that, nothing beats a good Nightstand post. Which is why, despite being halfway into the month of May, I’m still posting my April Nightstand.

2016 April - Books for Loving

Books for Loving:

  • The Passion of Jesus Christ by John Piper
    An excellent short treatment of the question “why did Jesus die?” Piper gives 50 God-centered reasons (as in, what was God’s purpose in Christ’s death), spending 1-2 pages on each reason. This offered plenty of opportunities for worship and I think this would make an excellent family devotional for the Lenten season.

2016 April - Books for Growing

Books for Growing:

  • Praying with Paul by D.A. Carson
    Read with my midweek Bible study, this discussion of Paul’s prayers has helped me develop more God-centered habits in prayer. While this is topical in scope, Carson does an excellent job of expositing Paul’s prayers in context – which firmly centers Paul’s prayers (and our own) in the character and action of God. I highly recommend this book.
  • Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler
    If you want to be scared out of your mind by all the things that could go wrong in pregnancy and to be convinced that every intervention your doctor might suggest is absolutely the right decision, you’ll want to read this book. If you prefer to learn what a normal pregnancy looks like, how to deal with the normal problems of pregnancy, and to make evidence-based (versus fear-based) decisions for your pregnancy and childbirth – this is not at all the book for you. May I recommend Tori Knopp’s The Joy of Pregnancy instead? (Check out my full review of Week by Week here.)
  • Lawns 1-2-3 by The Home Depot
    We will be putting in a lawn one of these days (it’s been three very dry months since we moved in, fire warnings all the time and several significant wildfires about – but the first rains finally came last week and turned our acre of bare ground into oozing mud.) I wanted a good basic introduction to lawn care to help us make our decision on what types of grass we’ll put in and what sort of care we’ll provide. This book suited that purpose well.
  • The Postage Stamp Garden Book by Duane and Karen Newcomb
    I thought this woud be just another version of Square-Foot Gardening, but it isn’t. While similar in garden-size and intensive spacing, Postage Stamp Gardening involves a “scatter and thin” method of sowing (vs. Square Foot Gardening’s methodical planting on a grid). In general, I think I’m going to stick with the Square Foot Method, since I’m persnickity and don’t like wasting seeds (and have a hard time distinguishing seedlings from weeds unless I can rely on my careful planting locations to guide me!) Nevertheless, there were a few helpful tips in this book, and I’m glad I read it.
  • Everything Else You Need to Know When You’re Expecting by Paula Spencer
    A little bit different than my typical pregnancy reading, this book is all about the etiquette of pregnancy – what to do or say when people ask rude questions, how to handle pregnancy and birth announcements, etc. I didn’t find anything particularly enlightening about this book, but I did enjoy the little comebacks Spencer’s friends and acquaintances have come up with for some of the most common rude questions.

2016 April - Books for Knowing

Books for Knowing:

  • The Poisoner’s Handbook by Deborah Blum
    A history of the birth of forensic medicine in New York City during the Prohibition. Maybe it’s just because I’m rather into medical stuff, but I just blazed through this book, letting all sorts of other household tasks wait.
  • Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein
    I truly dreaded reading this book (it’s in a Dewey Decimal category I’m trying to close) because I despised Ricki Lake in the pair’s documentary “The Business of Being Born”. Maybe Epstein took a more central role in the writing of this book? Because this was really a very well-done discussion of the options that are available to women – empowering women to take a more assertive role in determining how their labors and deliveries will proceed (rather than letting hospital protocol or standard practice make the decisions for them.)
  • Theories of Childhood by Carol Garrhart Mooney
    A brief introduction to the theories of John Dewey, Maria Montessori, Erik Erickson, Jean Piaget, and Lev Vygotsky. The author focuses on early childhood education, reviewing only the theories that apply to children age 5 and younger. I found this to be a very readable introduction to the various theories and look forward to delving a little deeper into the topic later on.

2016 April - Books for Seeing

Books for Seeing:

  • Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
    Based purely upon a popular conception of Frankenstein but without having seen any of the Frankenstein movies, I would have been inclined to dread reading this book. But several bloggie friends have read this in the past few years, and every one of them remarked on how NOT like the popular story the book is (thank goodness!) I found Frankenstein to be an entertaining and thought-provoking look into the responsibilities of a creator to its creature, the nature of humanity, and the limits of “playing God”. I rather wish I’d been reading along with someone else with a plan to discuss, because I know there’s plenty I didn’t think about that I could have.

2016 April - Books for Enjoying

Books for Enjoying:

  • 52 Loaves by William Alexander
    An interesting but not amazing memoir of a man’s attempt to make the perfect loaf of peasant bread – undertaken one loaf per week for a year. It was a pleasant read but I don’t know that I’d recommend it.
  • Scarlet Feather by Maeve Binchy
    This was my book club’s April pick, and it was an engaging huge-cast story. Unfortunately, it was also super.depressing. People were unfaithful, spouses grew apart and weren’t even paying attention to it, no one was intentional about their relationships at all. It didn’t really bother the other book club ladies as much as it did me, but it did bother me. A lot. I am aware that many marriages do fall apart, that many people just drift through their lives without intentionally building into their marriages. But I don’t intend to just drift through my marriage – and reading about marriage after marriage falling apart through lack of intentionality doesn’t at all encourage me.

Other Books:

  • Curtains, Blinds, and Valances, A “Sew in a Weekend” book
    Instructions for a wide variety of window dressings – photos are a bit dated but the instructions are good. I made some tie-backs using their pattern (although I adjusted both the pattern and the instructions, because I’m like that.) I’ll be checking this book out again when I finally get around to making Roman blinds for Daniel’s and my room (and maybe a few more times as I work through the rest of the house.)

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are were reading this last month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Mother’s Day

1 Comment by

Thankful Thursday banner

This week I’m thankful…

…for help from my in-laws
Daniel’s parents visited Friday and Saturday. They divided their time between playing with Tirzah Mae so I could work on indoor pursuits undisturbed and working with Daniel on lawn stuff. With their help, a tree was cut down and about a half dozen more were trimmed – with all the brush taken back to our palatial brush pile – all without me lifting a finger or swelling an ounce. Nurseries were inspected, potential tree species evaluated, books on landscaping consulted. And despite not going out for every meal (in fact, we had some of their friends over Friday night), the house was in order when they left. It was a delightful visit.

…for a wonderful mother’s day
Daniel and Tirzah Mae took me to Pizza Hut for lunch after church – but Tirzah Mae must have been just exhausted from the excitement of having her grandparents there, because she fell asleep while we were still eating! She napped all afternoon, giving Daniel and I some wonderful “just-us” time (a rarity since we don’t have family in town and since I generally need more sleep than our toddler does!) We talked and digged through boxes in search of a missing notebook and just generally spent time together. It was wonderful.

…for a thunderous evening
One of my favorite memories with my own mother is going out onto the front porch during an evening thunderstorm, taking in the sounds and sights and smells and feel of the storm. The wind whipping just the barest spray of the storm on my face. The thunder rumbling from afar, the rain pounding on the pavement and unsettling the leaves on the trees. The dark sky occasionally made bright by lightning flashes. There is little better. I’ve been dreaming of a good prairie thunderstorm since we built Prairie Elms – and this Monday, we got one. Our small group was cancelled due to the storms, so Daniel and I and Tirzah Mae stood on the front porch, enjoying the back end of the springtime storm (which was blowing rain and hail at a 45 degree angle from the west – I was glad to have an east-facing porch!)

…for encouragement and prayers
As I enter the scary season of pregnancy (for me), I have been so blessed by those who have encouraged me with truth – reminding me that God is in control, that His purposes are good and cannot be thwarted. I have been so blessed by those who have prayed for me – and who have let me know that they are praying. I have been so blessed by those who have offered for me to text them, to call them, to arrange a get together anytime I’m feeling overwhelmed and need someone to remind me of truth. God has been gracious to grant me friends such as these.

…for an eternal promise

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”
~John 10:27-30 (ESV)

When the clamoring voices of fear and “what if” crowd in, the promise of God remains sure. As one of Christ’s sheep, I do hear His voice. He knows me. I do follow Him. He has given me eternal life – and nothing can snatch me from His hand.

So I am thankful that I can say with the hymn-writer:

“Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
to guide the future surely as the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.”

Thank you, Lord, that you are sovereign over all things. Thank you for this week’s blessings, for the things I can clearly see as good gifts from your hand. But thank you also that you are sovereign over the waves that threaten to capsize, the winds that blow off course. Thank you that even these are good gifts from a gracious Father’s hand. Grant me grace to trust you today and every day.

Categories Everyday Life, Tirzah Mae

Like Mama, Like Daughter

1 Comment by

It was little more than a whim – I was feeling as though Tirzah Mae had been wearing the same dresses to church week after week, so I pulled out the bag of clothes I wore when I was a child…

I was thrilled that I had, since I discovered that this little jobber – what I’ve always referred to as the “Bavarian dress”, brought back by my Grandma from a European tour – was already almost too small for Tirzah Mae.

The "Bavarian" Dress

She wore it that day – and posed in it that afternoon.

Here’s me, wearing the same dress some 30 years before.

Rebekah in the "Bavarian" dress

I also had Tirzah Mae take advantage of some of the last cool days of the spring to wear the little jumpsuit my mother made me.

Jumpsuit should fit in the fall?

As you can see, the jumpsuit is definitely on the long side for Tirzah Mae – and since I wore it sometime right around my 2nd birthday, I’m thinking that bodes well for getting a good deal more use out of it come fall!

Rebekah with her Grandma Menter in the jumpsuit Mama made her

**Side note: See how little hair I had in the Bavarian dress – and how much I had by my second birthday? Perhaps there is hope for Tirzah Mae yet.**

Categories Pregnancy

When the Rubber Hits the Road

1 Comment by

Compared to what many women experience in the first trimesters of pregnancy, my pregnancy with Tirzah Mae was easy. No signs of danger until we started rounding the corner from trimester two to three, when I started retaining excess fluid and my blood pressure started rising.

So when people have asked me how the pregnancy is going, my response has been cautious.

This has been a very easy pregnancy. Easier than Tirzah Mae’s. I’ve had virtually no nausea, have had mostly manageable energy levels, have felt baby move from impossibly early weeks.

But early pregnancy is not necessarily a predictor of pregnancy outcome. I know that.

The odds of having preeclampsia as severely as I had the first time? They’re low.

But they were very low the first time too.

I’ve been cautiously optimistic, knowing that the real struggle would come in trimester 3.

And now, as I begin to turn the corner from trimester 2 to trimester 3, the rubber hits the road.

Do I trust God like I say I do, that whatever comes is in His control and is for both my good and His glory? Have I learned the lesson He was teaching last time around, that His grace is sufficient for what He brings, not for the anxieties I’ve been told to cast on Him? Do I really believe that whatever happens, Christ is enough?

This is when the rubber hits the road.

So far, my body is doing well. Weight gain is appropriate; blood pressure remains low; baby is active all.the.time.

My mental state? It varies. Sometimes I’m bawling with terror, other times confident that God has it all in hand. You’d think the terror would be connected to my physical state, but it doesn’t really seem to be. The day it was super hot and I gained a few pounds of water over the course of the day? I was good. It was three days later, after the weather had cooled off and my weight was stable from morning to evening, that I fell apart and spent the morning crying.

It’s an exercise in trust, here in trimester 3 as the rubber hits the road.

But while my mental state goes up and down, one thing is certain these days – I’ve got tennis shoes on my feet.

The combination of weight gain and pregnancy-induced relaxin production means my feet ache from the time I step out of bed in the morning until I fall into bed in the evening – which means I had to run out and grab a new pair of tennies to make it through trimester 3 (My previous tennies were pretty much destroyed by constant use and massive swelling during Tirzah Mae’s super-short third trimester – and I don’t wear tennis shoes unless I absolutely have to, so I didn’t bother to replace them once she was born.)

Pregnancy tennis shoes

I got these pretty white and pink jobbers at the Sports Authority store that’s going out of business – at $30, they mark my most expensive pregnancy clothing purchase thus far.

Categories Book Reviews, Pregnancy

Book Review: Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler

1 Comment by

The front cover of Your Pregnancy Week by Week proudly announces that it is “The only best-selling guide written by a doctor.” The spine contains a medallion announcing “The only best-selling guide written by a doctor.” The back cover proclaims the book to be “The expanded, fully updated edition of the best-selling pregnancy guide written by a doctor.”

So the major selling point of this book is that it is written by a doctor. Glade Curtis is a board certified OB-GYN, which means he’s the perfect guy to walk a woman through every week of her normal pregnancy, right?

Well, that depends a lot on your view of what pregnancy is. Is pregnancy a medical condition to be monitored and controlled (as you would diabetes or heart disease?) or is it a life event to be cherished and enjoyed (as you would an engagement and preparation for a wedding?)

Curtis (and the obstetric community as a whole) tends to think that pregnancy is a medical condition to be monitored and controlled. As such, Your Pregnancy Week by Week consists of telling a woman all the things that might go wrong with her at any given point during her pregnancy, all the tests which might be necessary to make sure that nothing is going wrong, and why she should trust her doctor implicitly and herself not at all during pregnancy.

Okay, someone not quite as passionate about pregnancy and birth as I am might feel that I’m overreacting to this book. Things can go wrong during pregnancy, they might say. Tests are sometimes necessary. You should be able to trust your doctor. Your own instincts aren’t always right when it comes to pregnancy. And, for that matter – pregnancy isn’t simply a life event like an engagement. Things are happening in your body!

And I agree completely, dear not-so-passionate-about-birth-as-I. Things do go wrong during pregnancy – I, of all people should know. I could have died during my pregnancy with Tirzah Mae. Tests are sometimes necessary – the ultrasounds to make sure Tirzah Mae was still growing when my body was no longer functioning as designed, the blood tests that finally told us that my kidneys and liver had stopped doing their jobs – those were necessary (and without the blood tests indicating the need for delivery both Tirzah Mae and I would have died.) It is incredibly valuable to have a caregiver you can trust – which is why I am SO grateful for my midwife, who was alert to normal pregnancy and knew when to refer when my pregnancy became anything but normal. That’s why I’m SO grateful for my OB, who values women and who works with them to help them have as normal a delivery as possible.

Pregnancy isn’t SIMPLY a life event like an engagement. Your body is changing, your hormones are changing. You’ve got extra blood pumping through your veins, an extra body inside your own. Things are happening to your body that you want to understand. You want to know if those changes are normal or if they’re something to be worried about. In some cases, you NEED to know if they’re normal or if you should be worried about them (ten pounds weight gain in one day – that’s not normal. It’s definitely something to be worried about.)

But Curtis and his co-author aren’t simply helping women understand what is normal and what isn’t. They are detailing, every week, another horrible thing that can go wrong during pregnancy (tacking a line at the end about how really only two in a thousand women are going to have this problem, so don’t worry.)

Curtis explains (week after week) why a woman shouldn’t ever be afraid to get a test or a procedure because they only ever help your doctor and you and your baby (and have never been PROVEN to be harmful – the anti-precautionary principle). And he explains (week after week) why a woman should be afraid to drink caffeine, eat sugar, eat artificial sweeteners, take an over-the-counter drug, etc (because it has never been PROVEN to be safe – the precautionary principle.) The doctor is always right and can do no harm. The woman is always to be doubted and will kill her baby if left to her own devices. (Okay, I’m exagerating a little.)

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the unscientific suggestions Curtis has for labor. He encourages enemas (for the patient’s safety and comfort, of course!), fasting during labor, lying down during labor, and episiotomies. Continuous fetal monitoring is necessary for baby’s safety. And if you aren’t sure you want a natural labor? A doula is a bad idea (well, actually, are you SURE you want a natural labor? If I give you this epidural, then you’ll be so much more comfortable and will be so much easier to monitor and won’t try to move around or anything… big plus? you won’t have to hire a doula!)

Yeah. No.

Choose to have a pregnancy and childbirth not defined by fear. Choose to trust that your body is fearfully and wonderfully made. Choose NOT to read Glade Curtis and Judith Schuler’s Your Pregnancy Week by Week.

Rating: 0 stars
Category: Pregnancy
Synopsis: An overmedicalized, fear-based, doctor-is-always-right tome on pregnancy
Recommendation:If you want to be scared out of your mind by all the things that could go wrong in pregnancy and to be convinced that every intervention your doctor might suggest is absolutely the right decision, you’ll want to read this book. If you prefer to learn what a normal pregnancy looks like, how to deal with the normal problems of pregnancy, and to make evidence-based (versus fear-based) decisions for your pregnancy and childbirth – this is not at all the book for you.

Categories Homemaking

Playing Kitchen Detective

1 Comment by

“Man, this dough is dry,” I thought to myself as I added yet another tablespoon of water to the bread dough I was kneading.

I mentally reviewed the adjustments I’d made to the recipe.

I’d doubled the recipe. No problem there.

I’d used 2 cups of milk instead of 1 cup milk and 1 cup water (got to use up that just-about-to-turn milk!) That could increase liquid needs just a little since milk has a small amount of solids in it. But I’d already added, what? A quarter cup of water?

And the dough was still dry – tons of flour still just sitting on the bottom of my bowl!

I’d used all whole-wheat flour instead of 2/3 whole wheat, 1/3 bread – and had added a tablespoon of gluten per recipe to compensate. That might increase water needs a little…but by now I’d added at least a half cup of water!

The only answer I could come up with is that I shouldn’t have measured out all the flour per recipe before kneading. I must have just never noticed that I never ended up needing the full flour allotment, since I usually mixed everything together with just half the flour and then added in a half cup extra flour at a time as I kneaded.

And then my ten minutes of kneading were up and I wet a dishcloth to cover the dough.

That’s when I saw the oil, still in the measuring cup where I’d carefully measured it out.

Half a cup of oil, substituting for four tablespoons of melted butter times two.

No wonder I needed an extra half cup of liquid.

I used the oil for a salad I was making for the evening meal – and let the bread raise and cook as usual.

It turned out fine.

Even so, I’m writing this down as a note to self: When a recipe isn’t quite turning out as you’d expected, check to make sure you included all the ingredients.

Categories Reading My Library

Brown Books

1 Comment by

Now that I’m FINALLY done with Marc Brown’s awful “Arthur” books in the picture book section at my library, I’m getting on to some other “Brown” authors.

Secrets of the Apple Tree by Carron Brown and Alyssa Nassner

A delightful nonfiction picture book about the ecosystem of an apple tree. This is a “shine-a-light” book, which means the right hand page has a full-color illustration with a blank space somewhere. When you hold the page up to a light or shine a flashlight from behind it, you can see the outline of the black and white illustration on the next (left-hand) page. For instance, you might see a lizard that has scurried behind a stone at the apple tree’s base. I enjoyed this informative and non-preachy look at nature.

Alice Ramsey’s Grand Adventure by Don Brown

Another nonfiction tale, this book tells the story of the first woman to drive a motorcar across the US. It took Alice Ramsey fifty-nine days in 1909, but she made it! Alice Ramsey’s Grand Adventure is relatively text-heavy, but the watercolor illustrations are lovely and the story gives a great look at what the US (and transportation) looked like early in the 20th century. With Alice Ramsey being a woman and all, this might be an opportunity for feminist grandstanding – but Brown does a wonderful job of telling the story and letting parents come up with how to interpret it.

Darth Vader and Friends and Goodnight Darth Vader by Jeffrey Brown

For this Star Wars no-nothing, these comic-book style picture books were absolutely incomprehensible. Daniel read one and I guess there are lots of illusions to the Star Wars stories and characters but relatively little plot of their own.

Stone Soup by Marcia Brown

This retelling of the classic story was a Caldecott Honor book in 1948 – and well deserves it. The retelling itself is relatively involved, with enough text per page that I abbreviated the story for Tirzah Mae’s consumption; but the illustrations, done in shades of gray and red, are magnificent (and enough to keep Tirzah Mae turning the pages for several days.)

Imani’s Moon by JaNay Brown-Wood
A little girl is the littlest in her village and always gets made fun of. But she dreams of reaching the moon, and practices until she
can, despite the naysayers. People who are into feel-good, if-you-can-dream-it-you-can-do-it stuff might like this story – but I’m not one of those people. I’m all about encouraging dreams and working towards dreams – but dream or not, no little girl can jump into the moon. Fairy tales about jumping to the moon are fine, but this stuff? This is silliness.