bekahcubed

Categories Everyday Life

Where you go…

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You know that verse people always pull out around wedding-times?

“Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.”
~Ruth 1:16

Obviously a romantic and wedding appropriate Scripture, right?

But the context of this verse isn’t a wedding at all.

Actually, it’s a funeral.

Ruth’s husband has died, as has her husband’s brother and father. Now only she, her sister-in-law, and her mother-in-law remain, destitute widows in Moab.

Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, urges Ruth and Orpah to return to their fathers’ houses, to remarry and to be happy.

Ruth protests, saying that she would rather be a foreigner in a foreign land, would rather work to support her helpless mother-in-law, would rather adopt a foreign God than leave her beloved mother-in-law.

A far cry from modern mother-in-law stories.

So many women are at odds with their mothers-in-law. Or if they aren’t at odds, they don’t protest at the profusion of mother-in-law jokes.

This saddens me.

That’s not what I want my relationship with my mother-in-law to look like. I don’t want to roll my eyes at her and forever be competing with her (whether actually or just in our minds) for my husband’s affection.

While I certainly don’t want to be in Ruth’s situation, I would love to have the kind of relationship with my mother-in-law that I would respond as Ruth did.

Of course, I have on good authority that my soon-to-be mother-in-law is a wonderful woman and a fantastic mother-in-law.

When Daniel and I were visiting his brother and sister-in-law before my trip to Philadelphia, Katie shooed her husband from the room so she could give me the down-low on the family. (She must have seen the writing on the wall–we got engaged, much to our surprise, only days later.)

Katie had only good things to say about her mother-in-law, a woman who I had not yet met.

Now, having met Paula, I can say with certitude that I am inclined to like her and am very much looking forward to having her as a mother-in-law.

Of course, this week I have extra incentive to repeat Ruth’s words:

Where you go I will go
since she’s going to Wichita

and where you lodge I will lodge
actually, I’ll be staying elsewhere, but we’ll both be spending a good amount of time at the home of her son, my betrothed

Your people shall be my people,
That is, her son shall be my husband (!)

and your God my God.
I am so thrilled that my future mother-in-law is a woman of God who will pray for Daniel and I and encourage us in the Lord.

This weekend, I have the delightful opportunity to travel with my future father- and mother-in-law to Wichita (9 hours roundtrip) to see Daniel.

While I won’t lie and say that I have no apprehensions, I am overwhelmingly excited for this chance to get to know my in-laws better (and maybe to learn a little more about the man I love.)

Where you go, indeed.

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: His hand upholds me

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Thankful Thursday bannerThis week has been filled with sharp ups and downs, with bliss and woe, with hope and desperation.

Every part of it has been exhausting.

Yet in it all, His hand upholds me.

This week I’m thankful…

…for a lovely morning meeting the rest of Daniel’s family

…for a great afternoon relaxing with Daniel and my family

…for a car ride that included (among other things) getting our story straight

…that we got our story straight before a public interview in front of the entire church body (Yeah, I’ll definitely be telling that story for years to come.)

…for a lovely lunch introducing Daniel to my Columbus friends

…that God is my strength when I had to work in the kitchen

…that God is my peace when my heart struggles to war against an employee

…for desperate-crying overwhelmedness with wedding planning

…for God’s sufficiency when my sister hits a deer which scraps her car and leaves us as a one-car-household again

…for God’s sufficiency when I have to take two hours out of my day to pick up my sister whose car is now incapacitated

…that my landlady didn’t blink when I told her we’d want to vacate our house by the end of the year

…for finding a potential reception site that just might work

…for getting a bit of sleep on a sick day before I have to go in anyway because STATE SHOWED UP

…for strength when I’m working sick

…for grace when I start crying at work

…for a consultant who tells me I need to get some sleep

…for a sister who reminds me that everything is not my fault

…for getting residents fed

…for a call from a job in Wichita, just enough time to call them back, and an interview scheduled

…for onions that needed chopping, which meant I could cry again today at work without losing face

…for a Clinical Services Consultant who is kind (even if it meant I almost cried publicly at work–without an onion in sight)

…for grace when I cry, yet again, privately at work

…that I didn’t black out at work today (even if I did “gray-out” pretty regularly)

…for state leaving early today

…that I had just enough time to make it to the NE District Nebraska Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics event (I’m on the board and this was rather an important event)

…that there was cheesecake and dark chocolate

…that I found an unexpected sister in Christ who affirmed my fiancee’s and my resolve to honor God in our relationship

It sounds like a crazy jumble, with no unifying theme. And truly, it has been a jumble of a week. Great things, horrible things, all very stressful things.

But there is a unifying theme.

Through it all, His hand upholds me.

And for that I am so very thankful.

“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped.”

~Psalm 63 (ESV)

Categories My Beloved Daniel

Me and my beloved

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While we were in Lincoln spending time with our families (and announcing our engagement), we asked for a volunteer to take some photos of the two of us together.

I hope you’ll humor me as I show Daniel off. I’m rather fond of him :-)

Daniel

We actually tried to look at the camera, honest. But I find it awfully hard to keep my eyes off of him.

Daniel

I love to see Daniel laugh, to hear him laugh, to laugh with him. Even if they’re not traditional “engagement” pictures–and even if I’m completely throwing back my head with my mouth wide open–I love that Grace managed to catch these next couple of photos of us laughing together.

Daniel

Daniel

This is my beloved, my Daniel. I am so excited to be marrying him!

Daniel

Categories My Beloved Daniel

Praying for my future husband

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“Dear Future Husband,

I turned 16 today, and I know it may seem weird writing this to you now, but this letter is sort of my way of making a promise to you in writing…

So begins the fictional Christy Miller’s first letter to her future husband.

Reading this in Island Dreamer at eleven, I was more than a little impressed at the romantic idea of communicating with the nebulous future husband.

I began writing my own letters–and started praying for “my future husband”. The letters tapered off and were mostly forgotten–the prayers have continued.

I was in my mid-teens when our youth pastor got married. People made a big deal about how his wife had prayed for him (that is, for her future husband) for eight years before they got married.

She was considered *the* example of a woman who’d waited long, who’d waited prayerfully.

I loved it–and thought I could maybe handle eight years of praying.

It’s been 16 years since that first letter. Sixteen years since the first prayer.

I have waited, sometimes patiently, often very impatiently.

I have fretted and stewed, and sometimes I have experienced the sweet peace that comes with trusting God.

I am not a paragon of patient waiting. It has been a difficult sixteen years. My heart has not always been pure, my eyes not always focused on Christ. Even my prayers have not always been right. Making marriage an idol, I have bargained with God for a husband. I have given God deadlines, ultimatums. I have sinfully demanded a spouse.

More often than I like to admit, my prayers have been demands for a husband. But God resisted my bargaining, my demands, my desperate attempts to be content enough to earn myself a husband. In His grace, God worked in my heart to overthrow my idol of marriage and to enthrone Christ as my supreme treasure.

As I’ve grown in my walk with Christ, my prayers for my future husband have changed.

I began praying that he would seek God, that God would direct his paths, that God would lead the two of us together at just the right time.

I started praying for myself, that the God who knows my future husband intimately would make me into just the right woman to be his helpmate.

In the last week, my prayers have changed again.

Now I pray for my future husband by name.

I pray for my beloved Daniel.

I’ve prayed sixteen years for my future husband, but now, in five short months (unbearably long), I will drop the “future” and he will be simply “my husband”.

Will you join me in praying, for my future husband and for myself? Now that his name is known, will you pray for Daniel and I as we begin our life together?

Categories Everyday Life

An unintended Blogging break

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This last stint has probably been the longest I’ve gone without blogging since I began posting regularly some 4 or so years ago. It has now officially been 14 days.

I’ve considered blogging breaks before, but never too seriously-and I didn’t end up planning this one at all.

I’ve just been busy.

In no particular order, here’s what I’ve been doing with my time.

Working

I’ve mentioned a bit about work, but haven’t mentioned (that I remember) that I’ve been acting as interim Director of Dining Services at my facility in Columbus while my dietary manager has been gone on leave. This has been in addition to my other duties which have been extensive due to my other dietary managers needing to take leave as well. My manager in Columbus will not be returning and I am pleased to announce that, as of next Monday, I will no longer be traveling. I will be giving up my two long-distance buildings and will be the RD/Director of Dining Services for Columbus.

Teaching
Teaching Sunday School continues to be a delight. It is much easier this year since I have a great curriculum and helpers-but it continues to take time.

Learning
My national professional conference just finished up today in Philly-and I’ve been here soaking up classroom time. I’ve also been tweeting from the conference, which has involved learning how to use the touchscreen of a borrowed tablet.

Sightseeing
I did take the afternoon after the conference to see the most important Philly sights (that is, but the historical ones). The loaned tablet came in handy for snapping pictures of myself with the Liberty Bell and at Independence Hall.

With Daniel
Before I flew out, Daniel and I got to spend some time together. We spent some time in the city-but also some time just hanging out at his brother and sister-in-law’s house (where I was staying). Daniel’s adorable niece (almost 4 years old) took some pictures of us-which means I can let you see him (albeit a facial-hair-less version of him, which is unlikely to last long).

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (September 2012)

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It’s amazing how dating/going out/being courted eats into one’s reading time.

Somehow, those hours that used to be spent reading are now being spent with Daniel.

I can’t say I mind terribly.

He’s every bit as interesting as a book. Maybe even (gasp!) more.

Books Completed this Month

Books Completed this Month

This month I completed:

  • 5 “Clifford the Big Red Dog” books
  • Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
    Read because Daniel is a fan of Dostoevsky. Enjoyed because it’s good (and possibly because Daniel is a fan.) Read my review if you’d like, but really it’s as much about Daniel and me as it is about Dostoevsky or Crime and Punishment. Sorry, twitterpated much?
  • I John
    Still steeping in I John–although my time here may be coming to a close. Currently contemplating what my next step should be devotionally speaking.
  • When Can I say, ‘I Love You’ by Max and Vivian Rice
    When I saw this thin volume on sale for 59 cents at a used store, I knew I wanted to own it. Who can resist a 1977 Christian dating book? The book didn’t really answer its title question, but it did have some pretty good comments.

    Chapter 2 discussed the three Greek words for love: agape, phileo, and eros–and how all three are necessary for a happy marriage. But the authors point out that the foundation of a happy marriage is agape, then phileo, then eros last. I loved how they described why they think it’s wise to delay eros in a dating relationship:

    “For Plato, eros was ‘an ecstasy which transports man beyond rationality.’ …If you retain your common sense, you do not have a real case of eros…. The conclusion should be obvious. If we become blind as soon as eros sets in, we must be sure that we have agape and phileo love first…

    To illustrate, suppose you are planning to go out one night. The power company calls and informs you that the lights will be turned off in fifteen minutes. You need to choose socks to match your clothes. Would you want to make your choice before or after the lights go out?

    Likewise, if you want to be sure you have agape and phileo love for a person, when do you need to decide? Before the lights go out. As soon as eros sets in, the lights go out. You become blind….

    How do you keep it from happening to you? Postpone physical relations that would result in eros until after the other relationships are thoroughly developed. This, of course, takes time.”

    I also appreciated the Rice’s suggestions for “things that you can do on a date that will help you become marriageable and, at the same time, help you choose the right person.” They suggest working together, playing together, thinking together, and worshiping together. Money quote: “You do not get to know anybody by smooching with him. You get to know him much better when he hits his thumb with a hammer.”

    While the majority of the very solid advice given by the Rice’s can be translated easily into 21st century relationships, one bit may strike the current-day reader as a bit odd. The Rice’s encourage teens against going steady, instead encouraging them to date a lot of people. This advice makes sense when “date” means what it apparently meant in the 70s–going rollerskating or to a dance or getting dinner together. It does not make sense in the modern teenage sense of the word, when “date” more often means “make-out session”. Ultimately, the Rice’s are encouraging teens to develop friendships (based on agape and phileo love) with many people of the same and the opposite sex, rather than becoming exclusive and erotic early in life. The concept is good, but the terminology is a bit outdated (punny!)

Books In Progress this Month

Books In Progress this Month

This month I read some of:

  • The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
    A book about resolving conflicts by helping things go right. It’s interesting because it’s written as a story. I’m really looking forward to digging into this more and hope especially to find some useful information to help me manage people better (and ultimately to love my employees more effectively.)
  • The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce
    A few gems amidst some definite dung. But Bierce’s political commentary cannot be beaten–and some of his epigrams are quite canny “Egotist: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
  • Lit! by Tony Reinke
    Won from Lisa Writes. I’m feeling a bit guilty to be slowing my reading so much just as I’m reading this–but such it is. And this has definitely been a thought-provoking look at why and how and when I read.
  • The Taste of Tomorrow by Josh Schonwald
    A rather interesting look at food trends–trying to predict what’s coming next. I’m really excited about this book and have really enjoyed what I’ve read so far–but I’ve still only completed two chapters.
  • The Two Friends and the Shadow by Joshua Menter with Joseph Boyer
    The first draft of my little (6’3″ish) brother’s fantasy novel. So far, I’m enjoying it quite a bit. I’ve just gotten to where I can see the shadow creeping.
  • Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes
    Checked out on my Kindle, but unfortunately with the text-to-speech capability turned off–which means that I was only able to read three chapters before my lending period expired. Interesting thesis, but having a hard time not being ticked off by his pooh-poohing energy balance. I’m on the waiting list for when the Kindle edition becomes available again.

This month I gave up on:

  • Three Times Blessed by Lori Copeland
    I’ve read and been moderately entertained by a number of Copeland’s books–but, for now, these tired love stories are less than diverting. This one, in particular, turned me off by the end of the first chapter when the heroine muses to herself:

    “All she had to do was keep reasonably independent until the teaching position became available; pride said she must earn her keep. And she would, but in the meantime she intended to pursue this fine man who was now leading her horse up the hill.”

    Apart from the not-so-fantastic writing, this is just wrong. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather not have the women pursuing.

    I’ll stick with my own love story, thank-you-very-much. ‘Cause I prefer a story where a man does the pursuing–and where, instead of leading a horse up a hill, he leads a woman to follow hard after Christ.

    Somehow, the fictional “blessing” just doesn’t cut it compared to that.

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: From the hand of a loving God

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Thankful Thursday bannerYesterday started well and ended well. The sixteen hours in between were…

Well, I was tempted several times to say that they were straight from the pit of hell.

But my theology constrains my terminology.

Nothing comes straight from the pit of hell. Even the most diabolical plot must pass by heaven for permission from the Sovereign Lord of all creation.

Acknowledging God’s sovereignty means that I cannot blame evil spirits or evil people for the discomfort I experience, the trials that I face.

Acknowledging God’s sovereignty means that I must confess that my worst days come straight from the hands of a loving God.

The truth is that God has designed my days, lovingly arranged them for His good purposes, that I might be conformed to His image and enjoy Him eternally.

So I will be thankful today, for yesterday.

Today I’m thankful…

…for to-do lists that are impossibly long

…for employees calling in

…for resident complaints

…for working on the floor in high heels

…for meals that take forever

…for running out of vegetables

…for not knowing what I was doing

…for shoulder deep dishwater and scads of dirty pans

…for filthy lab coats

…for aching back and feet

Because when these things happen, even when they all happen on the same day, I can be sure that they come from the hand of a loving God.

“Faith sees that in her worst sorrow there is nothing penal; there is not a drop of God’s wrath in it; it is all sent in love. Faith discerns love gleaming like a jewel on the breast of an angry God. Faith says of her grief, ‘This is a badge of honour, for the child must feel the rod’; and then she sings of the sweet result of her sorrows, because they work her spiritual good. Nay, more, says Faith, ‘These light afflictions, which are but for a moment, work out for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.'”
~C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, September 12, Evening

Days like yesterday are not a punishment. Christ has already borne all my punishment.

But days like yesterday ARE discipline. They are training, like the grueling workouts athletes or warriors endure; like the long hours medical interns practice.

And the end result of this painful practice from the hands of a loving God?

Seeing Christ and being transformed into His likeness.

Worth it.

Absolutely worth it.

Thank You, Lord, for disciplining me thus.

Categories Everyday Life

Farmers and Favorites

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Sunday School teachers, like every other sort of teacher, are not supposed to have favorites.

They are supposed to love all their students equally.

And I do, I think, love them all equally–but there are some students that I enjoy more than others.

One in particular, may well be my favorite.

I call him my eight-going-on-eighty farmer.

There is never a lack for conversational topics with this kid, since all I have to do is ask him about what’s going on around the farm. He’ll be pleased to tell me about ‘nhydrous or bean or corn farming.

At the beginning of this fall session of Sunday School, while the students were filing in to class the first day, I asked the students what their favorite part of the summer was.

Most of the students responded with stories of celebrations or vacations. This student answered matter-of-factly: “Irrigatin'” Then he described the satisfying feeling of cracking open a pod of soybeans and squishing out the beans.

When prayer time rolled around last week, most of the students had typical children’s requests: Owies and family members who are sick and the like. This student wanted prayers for the harvest–and then for rain.

Yes, Sunday School teachers aren’t supposed to have favorites–but sometimes I forget in the sheer joy of teaching this particular student.

Categories Book Notes

Dostoevsky and Me

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I am intimidated by Russian authors. Terribly so. While I’ve had all the Russian greats on my “should read” list for ages, I’ve never of my own volition picked one up.

But then I started talking with this man who said his favorite author was Dostoevsky.

I felt anew my lack of culture and sophistication. I had never read Dostoevsky.

I had a copy of Crime and Punishment on my bookshelf. A friend had given it to me from his personal collection. He’d said when he gave it to me that he’d originally picked it up because a friend of his was a fan. He’d never read it and didn’t know that he would, so he passed it on to me.

It sat on my bookshelf for four years, until the friend from whom I’d received it introduced me to the man who’d inspired him to get it in the first place.

I didn’t read that copy of Crime and Punishment. Instead, I downloaded a Project Gutenberg text to my Kindle and half-read, half-listened to it as I went about my daily tasks.

I wondered, as I listened and read, what it was I had against Russian authors.

If Dostoevsky is typical, there is no reason to fear. I found myself quickly engaged in the tortured mind of Rashkolnikov, a man who commits a crime to see if he if great and spends the rest of the book wrestling with what he’d found.

Crime and Punishment does have some of the qualities which I feared in Russian literature. The names are unfamiliar, hard for me to remember. The cast of characters is relatively large (around a dozen truly important characters). The topic is weighty, thought-provoking.

But it is not a difficult read. It is nothing to be afraid of. It requires no slogging, no real effort to read. It is not work to read and enjoy.

Although perhaps I transfer my relationship with the one who inspired me to read Dostoevsky to my reading of Dostoevsky himself. Perhaps I considered Dostoevsky engaging because I am so fascinated by the man who enjoys him. Perhaps I found Dostoevsky effortless because it is easy for me to want to know everything about Daniel.

Perhaps your experience with Dostoevsky, not inspired by love as mine has been, will be different. But I dare you, fellow fearers, to give him a try. Perhaps you will be surprised, as I was, with how much you enjoyed this Russian great.

And how’s that for a review? I fear my ability to write normally is much impaired, since every second word out of my mouth and pen is “Daniel, Daniel, Daniel”. Bear with me, dear reader, and someday, perhaps, I shall be able to organize my thoughts without having him in the middle. For now, every topic I think to write about is “Dostoevsky and Me…and Daniel”, “Children’s Sunday School…and Daniel”, “Quilting Progress, or lack thereof…and Daniel.”

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Learning to Love

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Thankful Thursday banner

“Whoever does not love abides in death.”
~I John 3:14

My eyes read the words, my mind processed them, I moved forward and then backpedaled quickly.

Did that really say what I just read it to say?

How many times have I read I John and never noticed that line?

Whoever does not love abides in death.

Scary.

Then, with a sudden rush, my heart is filled with thankfulness.

There was a time in my life when those words could have killed me. I’d have read them and gone at the work of loving with a fearful frenzy, certain of judgment should I fail.

But God has wrought changes in my heart over the years–and I am supremely grateful that He is teaching me to love.

Today I’m thankful…

…that God’s kindness compels me
I do not seek to love others out of a sense of obligation or a fear of death. But this is not of myself. My inclination would be to “love” for selfish gain, to make myself feel good or obtain some sort of benefit for myself. Yet God’s love for me is what compels me to learn to love others. This is God’s grace at work in my life.

“God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”
~Romans 2:4b (ESV)

…that perfect love casts out fear
Once upon a time, fear of losing favor drove me to perform what others might have considered loving actions. But these actions were not love. They were the clawings of a woman desperate to hold tight to what she could never keep. Now, captivated by the perfect love of a faithful God, I can love without fear, holding loosely to this life and entrusting my heart to God’s care.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
~I John 4:18 (ESV)

…that love is sacrificial
The greatest act of love in the universe involved a heartbroken Father, a murdered son, and pardon for murderous wretches. All our sappy movies and cheesy greeting cards miss the mark when they announce that love is bliss or beauty or chocolate kisses. Love is death.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
~I John 4:10 (ESV)

…that love is supernatural
The word love is bandied about so frequently that one might begin to think that love is the most natural thing in the world. But it isn’t. It isn’t easy, it isn’t normal, it isn’t natural to love. In fact, there’s only one way one can love–and that is through the grace of the supernatural God of the universe.

“…for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”
~I John 4:7 (ESV)

The truth is that I never knew love until I knew the blameless Son of God bloodied upon a tree. I never saw love until I saw a heartbroken Father pouring out His full cup of wrath on His treasured Only Son. I never saw love until I saw His eyes turn to me and proclaim that I was free.

And when my heart turned to Him, enthroning Him above all kings–
When my love for Him outgrew my love for every other thing–
It is then that He whispered into my heart
“Love. Love them for me.”
And out of love for my Savior, my Lord, my all
I am learning to love others
as He first loved me